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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:03
come up with a Tinkoff Platinum credit card, you do00:00:05
n’t have to choose between what’s important and00:00:08
what’s important, sign up for Tinkoff Platinum before00:00:11
November 30 and get a chance to win 10 million rubles00:00:28
[music]00:00:45
Cool How cool it is that00:00:52
there are even people in T-shirts for guys There are even00:00:55
people in sunglasses in general, this means00:00:59
that this is not the sun or something like this Or so00:01:04
today we will play here an00:01:07
improvisation of this story this is a long00:01:09
form of improvisation What does this mean00:01:11
quickly in a nutshell this is firstly00:01:12
an improvisation This means that we00:01:14
have not prepared anything in advance and History this means00:01:16
what will happen one story we will ask00:01:18
some question we will get some00:01:20
small topic and on this topic for how many00:01:23
minutes at least 30 at least 30 And00:01:27
so it is stated at least 30 question Today00:01:31
Well, spring, the weather is beautiful Let's have00:01:34
a question like this Did anyone have00:01:36
any- then a bad date don’t rush00:01:40
Think Think Think if you’re00:01:42
still 1700:01:44
guys I’m here00:01:46
with you all dates are losers00:01:53
Why are you thinking00:02:05
[laughter]00:02:11
before the date was in Istanbul in Istanbul I00:02:15
once went to a meeting with a guy00:02:19
who worked at a local MFC he worked00:02:23
in the local Istanbul MFC in Istanbul there is00:02:26
an MFC And you think they don’t receive documents there00:02:28
and you think they do00:02:30
n’t yell at each other there they00:02:33
called the institution moronic I’m very00:02:36
interested Why she starts the story with this00:02:38
where he worked And how to understand00:02:40
she went to meet him halfway but you wrote off00:02:44
yesterday like since I came to this place00:02:47
to change my ID, I have two two00:02:50
passports, one is Russian, the other00:02:54
[applause]00:02:58
Marry me, it’s not a date, you00:03:01
came there on business, there’s a guy,00:03:07
he’s in my area and that means to me I00:03:15
just know this well in addition to Russian,00:03:18
another some kind of thing, now I00:03:21
need to choose words like Seryozha is generally00:03:23
Russian.00:03:25
Why don’t you admit that I also00:03:27
know many languages and choose What words00:03:30
I need to say00:03:34
what language you know00:03:37
I’m completely on your side00:03:41
[music]00:03:44
and the following phrase sounds like00:03:49
wow I have grandma lives in the same area.00:03:52
Maybe we’ll go for coffee,00:03:55
so this is a trick00:04:00
grandma understands correctly what next she00:04:03
’ll say yes since there was a date. Now00:04:05
let’s find out that this date00:04:07
was unsuccessful Yes you say Yes I00:04:10
thought Why not because of such00:04:12
experience I haven’t had one yet Well, what happened there,00:04:16
I understood that if something happened, I’ll00:04:19
just call my father and they’ll gather the guy and00:04:23
take him away. Who’s your father? Let’s00:04:26
wait, don’t answer Don’t answer00:04:29
no-no-no00:04:31
great Well okay Yes you are00:04:34
The Lord00:04:49
just decided that how you started Hello Hello00:04:53
[music]00:04:57
[applause]00:05:03
we started quarreling because he00:05:06
began to prove to me that the area in00:05:10
which I live is very Not very00:05:13
and you are so much Yes for the area00:05:22
for the areas for the yard00:05:25
and how it all ends is00:05:31
that the00:05:34
size here is heaven,00:05:52
I immediately understood how I said I’ll take00:05:55
the cars,00:05:58
when we got out we were still arguing and my00:06:04
father had already come out and said, well, everyone go away,00:06:08
don’t swear. He just told this00:06:11
guy that it’s like Okay, we haven’t seen each other again,00:06:16
God00:06:17
it was terrible00:06:19
So okay like this guy It's just that you00:06:22
always say the guy from the MFC Well, he00:06:24
shouldn't have a name I'm just00:06:27
sure that he will become Ibrahim here00:06:29
So it's better to find out Yes, they are Emir and the world00:06:34
is beautiful00:06:42
[music]00:06:58
[laughter]00:07:04
room service said we in cinema and we are at the cinema00:07:07
Yes, as we predicted the00:07:10
show of history in the cinema, think about it00:07:13
[music]00:07:17
[applause]00:07:45
Hello, I'm Elya,00:07:52
it's like an ellipse00:08:01
[music]00:08:07
you reminded me of my first love00:08:11
[music]00:08:15
in fact, I came correctly I00:08:19
have two IDs00:08:21
Russian Turkish00:08:24
us in Russia, by the way, it’s not called ID, but00:08:26
I do.00:08:29
What do you want? Well, I don’t know, they told me to00:08:34
come to the MFC. I came,00:08:36
what’s there about two, go, I thought you00:08:38
’d figure it out for yourself, it does00:08:40
n’t work, I work like that, and in general, it does00:08:44
n’t work like that;00:08:47
they came to the MFC00:08:53
to brag about what you have two IDs00:08:56
that we are at the border what is the purpose of the visit I don’t00:08:59
know tourism hold on00:09:04
[applause]00:09:06
You are traveling around the MFC00:09:10
overview of the MFC of different countries00:09:14
for now only in Russian in Turkish Yes00:09:17
we need to extend it there it’s Edith and everyone there that’s00:09:24
what it’s your area00:09:29
it’s in the area you live00:09:32
Yes we yes yes this I live that and the European00:09:38
part of Istanbul what you don’t like00:09:40
This grandma lives00:09:43
Well good And that everything00:09:53
you want00:09:55
Well I want00:09:57
and I need00:10:01
[applause]00:10:04
Well let’s go grandma lives on a date00:10:11
surprises while00:10:13
traveling through the MFC is normal A new date00:10:18
yes yes00:10:21
24 Go through window number 4, then I’m in the00:10:27
area in the area, I’m here in two languages and00:10:34
[applause]00:10:38
dear00:10:42
yes yes00:10:43
Now I’m in the bathroom now I’ll go out00:10:53
[applause] It would be00:10:56
better if we had three rooms and one00:10:59
bath than three baths and one room like that00:11:02
planning what I will do too,00:11:05
obey, I came up with what you say00:11:11
[applause]00:11:19
I came up with a name seriously If there are00:11:23
girls, we’ll call Elya00:11:25
Why don’t I know, well, after the belly is in the00:11:29
shape of an ellipse,00:11:31
Elya turns out there is no chance of another00:11:35
name was not right00:11:36
boy, you choose If boy, I do00:11:40
n’t [ __ ] know, let the Russian00:11:43
name Ivan Ivan be fine00:11:54
Listen Okay,00:11:57
what was00:11:59
the idea born?00:12:01
And if we leave Russia for another00:12:05
country, we haven’t yet chosen which country,00:12:07
wait, the very essence will be dual00:12:11
citizenship for the child Yes, everything is correct,00:12:14
Let’s bring the Globe00:12:19
it’s more convenient on the globe Yes, because I00:12:21
somehow took the card, she started00:12:25
Oh, here’s the Globe I bought,00:12:27
thank God, it’s also a Bar, of course, you’re00:12:30
lucky,00:12:33
where are you? Why, I’ll just sniff the00:12:37
cork, so we’ll close it. Oh, come on,00:12:43
what’s random or what’s random,00:12:47
it’ll be interesting, oops00:12:52
l [ __ ], let's move on00:12:58
Well, we agreed that we are still in the00:13:00
fourth month, she doesn't hear anything,00:13:02
of course we have two cancellations, there are two cancellations, the00:13:05
first cancellation has already taken place, which Nepal is00:13:14
spinning correctly?00:13:15
I’ll always end up in Nepal.00:13:20
Come on, I’m thinking about how I came; the map, of course, is that well,00:13:23
you can’t be wrong. And I can00:13:27
get out of it. Well, let’s get out of00:13:33
it. Stop at any moment00:13:36
now, now, I’ll stop here, now.00:13:39
Run here, don’t fall. Let’s move on. Yeah,00:13:42
stop, the00:13:45
United00:13:47
States00:14:01
is going where we’re going. you're00:14:05
not in yours,00:14:07
okay, you00:14:12
have to00:14:13
Sorry, here's your passport, a visa00:14:16
was refused00:14:20
[applause]00:14:25
Yes, go back, turn off mother, go back, it's denied Come on00:14:29
And what are we going to do here in Istanbul on the transfer00:14:37
You tell him that I'm already in my ninth month I do00:14:40
n't have I'm in right now at the airport00:14:42
I have two questions00:14:45
So the first is why do they get a visa to America00:14:48
at the Istanbul airport? The00:14:51
second is what should we really do? Well,00:14:54
look at the situation we are in. Well,00:14:57
what do I not understand? Well, he00:15:03
knows something in two languages, let’s split it, let’s00:15:18
go, I don’t know, we’ll stay here this is00:15:20
probably necessary for some time. Well,00:15:22
spend some time here, then maybe another00:15:24
question in Istanbul, it’s beautiful,00:15:30
Asian culture, stop here for you00:15:33
and the Grand Bazaar and the glass, we’ll take a00:15:35
beautiful walk. We’ll take a ride on the tram. Did00:15:38
n’t you look,00:15:40
why did you connect everything there? It’s very beautiful00:15:57
Yes I’m here,00:16:00
well, there are00:16:01
nine people left in the class,00:16:04
I mean, but who doesn’t offend me?00:16:07
You disappear somewhere.00:16:13
Well, no one wants to.00:16:16
Well, I once said, don’t offend me,00:16:19
my dad will take you and Well, we had 4200:16:22
students. Listen, who do you even work for?00:16:27
well, 33 people are relaxing there, well, they are relaxing, it’s a00:16:29
miracle, too, damn it, well, I don’t know if you want, I00:16:32
’ll find you friends myself, I was good friends, what do I want to be00:16:35
friends with my people,00:16:39
but just Tell me who you work for00:16:42
Well, it’s not time to know yet But we have an essay00:16:45
in Turkish Where does my dad work00:16:49
essay in Turkish Of course00:16:52
Hello mom, dear Elechka,00:16:59
and dad and I have news for you00:17:02
I know00:17:04
these rules: one person disappears, another00:17:07
appears00:17:11
Let's come up with a name for your brother00:17:13
Ivan00:17:19
My daughter00:17:21
Well, just hypothetically And if there is00:17:25
a girl,00:17:28
you want a namesake,00:17:30
she won’t offer any other options Well,00:17:33
Elechka is beautiful name noyalechka beautiful00:17:38
wonderful00:17:41
there is one boy at school00:17:45
seriously Tell me Well why tell it00:17:48
simply Well don’t touch him00:17:51
Well yes Well I even have a little offense the00:17:54
truth is that she should live her own life00:17:58
You know who I work for I’m00:18:00
fine I don’t know00:18:02
that’s just Well obviously I wrote a subscription and00:18:06
not a disclosure Well, I thought I was signing a00:18:09
subscription in the marriage contract, I waved00:18:12
that I swear I swear I swear I won’t00:18:14
tell anyone yet, it’s not time yet The time will come and you00:18:18
’ll find out everything00:18:19
bye bye rest00:18:31
[applause]00:18:33
I didn’t just give her ice cream00:18:42
nothing you’re silent00:18:45
calling I say your name is like Tamir00:18:51
Tomir of00:18:53
the statues00:18:57
there is vitamin Tamir Tutuev Tutuev indigenous00:19:01
of course you the residents here have00:19:05
already arrived before giving my00:19:09
daughter Ice Cream Well licked it a couple of times00:19:13
That is, you gave my daughter ice cream00:19:16
which you have already licked00:19:19
or00:19:23
poisoned if poisoned you know what I’m00:19:27
doing with children like you00:19:32
they are moving to this area of00:19:35
Istanbul00:19:39
Get up Damir let's go Yes you untie00:19:42
first with a chair you can't get up here00:19:46
please let's go Let's go on the road let's go on00:19:52
horseback mirhabe What do you have toxicosis00:19:57
come out00:20:06
Well I took the test00:20:11
[applause]00:20:32
yes yes you are with me the best player of the crocodile00:20:35
Well, let's talk about00:20:37
what00:20:42
Let's come up with names00:20:45
Come on If it's a boy, then there's peace00:20:50
now I'm there Mestamirovich Tamirovich And00:20:54
if00:20:57
we don't choose a surname, if it's a girl,00:21:01
then the world00:21:19
[applause]00:21:21
Well, don't, here we go00:21:31
[applause]00:21:34
Africa00:21:46
I'm in the service I'm00:21:51
[applause] ]00:22:04
Well, you can’t call this area a00:22:07
normal00:22:09
state, you’re a goat, you’re a goat, you’re a goat, you00:22:14
called me to [ __ ] on my area, can you hear me,00:22:17
but your grandmother lives as a freak, that’s why it’s00:22:20
common here00:22:23
Look at the street Well, look at yours Where do you00:22:26
live Where do you live in an elite area [ __ ] area00:22:29
I got it no [ __ ] what an elite [ __ ]00:22:36
I'm talking about this area I was born in it I00:22:41
went to school in it we had 42 at00:22:44
graduation There were two of us I got the lesson this is mine Are00:22:47
you pawing at me Where are you on the knee for a00:22:50
cup he grab the coffee drink from a cup00:22:54
Turkish Greek correctly00:23:09
Yes, if I fell in love with everyone who00:23:11
crap in my area00:23:12
and the chick swam Let's play this00:23:16
game Come on Hey MFC00:23:31
[music]00:23:33
he always picks up the phone00:23:36
Hello My beloved daughter hello hello00:23:41
you listen00:23:44
Dad you're one minute away as always from the00:23:46
meeting place, of course,00:23:48
in a black car, of course,00:23:52
I thought it wouldn’t come to this,00:23:55
but again I’ll00:23:57
die in girls, people need to be punished for00:23:59
such an attitude.00:24:09
Nothing, nothing, of course they leave00:24:13
[music]00:24:38
Yeah, Elechka, we have love Elya, I love my00:24:43
heart, my soul, I’m composing a song for you00:24:47
on the move00:24:50
[applause]00:24:59
[applause]00:25:08
[applause]00:25:15
and Of course00:25:18
I even hate00:25:21
at least one doctor there is here in00:25:24
my opinion everyone breathe breathe00:25:32
Yes damn doctor00:25:46
where do you walk where I walk hard00:25:54
Do what I will do00:25:59
[music]00:26:01
Get my Elya00:26:04
Where are you00:26:11
[applause ]00:26:22
hold on00:26:24
come on00:26:32
[applause]00:26:51
Give liu mothers wo00:26:58
n't fit into all this Mothers00:27:02
Give Hey liu mothers are idiots00:27:12
[applause]00:27:17
I'm a father00:27:20
[applause]00:27:30
What legs00:27:32
What fingers What call your00:27:36
grandparents say 106 kilograms00:27:40
[applause]00:27:54
Oh where was he00:27:56
not born also the groom who will get00:28:00
My daughter00:28:02
don’t tell me at all Let’s wash her Wash00:28:06
Yes, I myself00:28:10
[applause]00:28:25
[applause]00:28:27
I took00:28:33
a leave for 4 hours What do you mean there are no contractions00:28:41
[laughter]00:28:54
[music]00:28:57
I can’t look at this Let’s wait a little00:29:00
longer00:29:02
I’ll smoke I’m coming back she should already be00:29:05
she at least had a daughter if it’s him no00:29:09
I want a daughter00:29:20
smoking is harmful father00:29:25
[applause]00:29:29
mother said that you went out to smoke00:29:35
[applause]00:29:46
Hello Tamir00:29:49
Hello I’m a chicken I’m00:29:55
going to school00:30:14
I’m sitting here it’s00:30:16
already00:30:18
turning out How many years 15 probably00:30:22
what are you you say ice cream, you let her00:30:24
lick the ice cream and I, in short, Elya00:30:29
Elya tried to come up with some kind of name-calling, I couldn’t think of00:30:31
anything to say about her, I’m00:30:34
just a fool, he said after school, they waited00:30:38
here and took you by the way, you know everyone00:30:41
there, well, 30 guys, the girls are normal,00:30:52
I just didn’t like her One day I let it be written off00:31:03
I said that I don’t have spare Socks00:31:07
here and of course the girls are all here I00:31:12
just ended up taller than her in physical education for00:31:22
no reason at all00:31:25
and what are you saying You still love her00:31:27
No,00:31:34
look, that’s00:31:40
why we have so many baths in00:31:43
the apartment00:31:48
boys how are you here we don't talk to her00:31:53
don't say anything I don't say just don't00:31:54
say crawls away We were swimming00:32:03
I was just walking walking looking at the00:32:06
bookcase he pressed he drove away I00:32:10
want something from us Again father00:32:24
You're warm here00:32:27
in Turkey everything is warm00:32:29
Okay, I00:32:31
went00:32:34
to my colleague at the MFC, you can00:32:38
pick it up if necessary, it’s you00:32:43
Who are00:32:44
you What’s your name What’s your00:32:49
name What’s your name00:32:52
What’s your name No I do00:32:55
n’t want to go anywhere else00:32:58
your name What’s your name What’s00:33:11
your name The00:33:13
guy ran up and00:33:16
said something Peace00:33:18
Well That’s how I imagined the story00:33:22
about ice cream was told by Tamir your name00:33:25
turns out yes, forget about the MFC,00:33:29
it turns out well Yes yes00:33:44
[applause]00:33:48
30 people00:33:57
listen00:33:59
I finished reading the script of your film00:34:03
and you didn’t confuse Tamir and Emir00:34:07
anywhere00:34:08
[applause]00:34:09
[music]00:34:14
and all the names a little changed, you00:34:18
understand there, in fact, the most important00:34:19
catch is that a girl was born in one Russian family00:34:21
and a boy was born in another Turkish family. They00:34:34
just get to this description of nature00:34:37
and then they met each other, they didn’t like it at all, it00:34:45
opens00:34:47
and after that they, well, something00:34:50
happened there you read I don’t want to tell you everything right away00:34:54
and then they00:34:56
got married together00:35:06
listen00:35:07
Well then, maybe we’ll cut out the chapter about00:35:10
Tamir’s ice cream, it will turn out00:35:12
better just00:35:15
trust me trust me00:35:18
let’s Okay the main question I don’t want to00:35:21
finish reading Who’s her dad let’s00:35:33
go watch all the episodes before00:35:37
on YouTube free application The Home00:35:39
link in the description00:35:42
Let's go you could have said here Well00:35:45
Let's go00:35:52
[applause]00:36:07
Hello to the Hadri district00:36:16
I know your daughter00:36:20
15 Lira00:36:22
please00:36:24
You should move from that area00:36:28
why is this even where you know my00:36:32
daughter Let's communicate like this, it's00:36:33
more convenient00:36:36
I'm a lot who knows00:36:40
in the area00:36:43
she holds it, so to speak, has00:36:53
n’t learned it yet00:36:57
Wait a second What’s00:37:05
my name MADI00:37:07
Madi yes00:37:09
wait you know my daughter Yes00:37:13
Elya Yes my daughter What do you say she’s a00:37:17
district that’s a district in the sense that I’m in the district00:37:19
Many people know what that means what is she what is00:37:22
she what What is she00:37:25
to the taxi driver you can directly tell the maximum00:37:32
[music]00:37:38
Well yes your daughter00:37:41
we how could this happen but she is00:37:46
strict00:37:48
How strict we are we are talking about one thing or00:37:52
not strict but strict is not a quality00:37:56
But some people like it so00:38:00
wait00:38:06
you can go talk00:38:09
[laughter]00:38:11
I can’t go When my daughter00:38:16
is like that there Why come out I’ll go00:38:21
talk to my daughter come out here you are00:38:24
five years old I haven’t taken you a third of the way Go00:38:26
to your Where you were supposed to00:38:29
don’t care00:38:34
[music]00:38:38
listen00:38:43
Well you’ve already written 8 thousand pages00:38:47
[ __ ] this scene about MADI00:38:52
[applause]00:38:56
you understand me when It’s hard for me to00:38:59
stop I think I’ll00:39:10
walk at00:39:12
the beginning so I confused the world with the emir00:39:16
Well, yes,00:39:18
I’m already00:39:21
here00:39:24
I have a suspicion that00:39:25
no one will read until this moment So to be00:39:29
honest, I’m already there and I write all the [ __ ]00:39:31
there further I also wrote a crossword puzzle,00:39:36
okay, it’s great that you told me00:39:38
in the smoking room who her father is, well, a00:39:41
strong00:39:43
move here00:39:46
so that people find out,00:39:49
I created a call for the opening to yell at everyone00:39:52
Listen, I know, well, you know, but people are00:39:56
like I’m sorry Sorry I will do this for00:39:58
the first and last time,00:40:01
this is for you that Kolobok, where everything is clear00:40:06
from the bottom of the barrel, is silver and00:40:09
shame should be on page nine thousand,00:40:14
please add the ending where it00:40:17
becomes clear who her father did00:40:20
without new heroes00:40:24
until tomorrow00:40:29
[applause]00:40:40
nothing is00:40:42
a fool, you are a fool,00:40:45
you are not a fool I can do it without you00:40:53
Yes, he will open You know who You are I don’t00:40:56
know00:41:00
Well, who got the important ones00:41:05
says I signed the document He’s00:41:07
walking around I don’t know something Well the00:41:10
taxi driver’s cap comes home How do I know who I’m00:41:13
walking with you just to00:41:15
find out00:41:16
Yes I live for Why am I telling this stupid story00:41:19
about Emir? Why am I telling it everywhere?00:41:22
Well, it doesn’t end with anything. We00:41:25
had a fight, everyone left. And who is00:41:27
yours?00:41:29
You told everyone that we had a fight and left.00:41:32
Well, we left then.00:41:33
We then,00:41:35
by the way, how you ran away,00:41:39
everyone ran away.00:41:43
Who is he? Let’s call let's ask [ __ ]00:41:59
everyone ran away00:42:01
everyone ran away every single one of them all Well, why00:42:06
didn't I put this little book back everyone00:42:08
run away yes daughter Hello00:42:13
we need to have a serious talk seriously00:42:16
talk00:42:19
what it is there But you know what I want to00:42:23
say what do you want to say that I'm00:42:25
already starting to get a little- a little bit00:42:27
from these little secrets of yours00:42:35
What kind of floor lamp are you talking to? Daughter,00:42:37
what are you beautiful with a beautiful floor lamp? You do00:42:41
n’t have any friends or something,00:42:51
I don’t call my name the first time Who do00:42:54
you work00:42:58
well daughter, I’ve been waiting for a long time, only honestly,00:43:01
well, only honestly the floor lamp tells me00:43:05
got to the bottom of it It's beautiful00:43:08
he's cool he's so00:43:12
[applause]00:43:15
[music]00:43:20
[applause]00:43:23
I understand00:43:25
[applause]00:43:27
just Tell me who you are please00:43:34
[applause]00:43:48
[applause] that's who00:43:52
said it all00:43:57
I00:44:03
won't say it out loud Lord yes00:44:07
Someone read it It’s00:44:16
so good that00:44:22
Let’s swear, swear, or went to the wrong place00:44:27
in memory of your father, about mine, never00:44:31
never ever tell anyone under any00:44:34
circumstances who he lived00:44:36
took loved what to do00:45:08
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