Download "Камеди Клаб «Российские технологии» Павел Воля"
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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
[music]00:00:04
class course I want to start with the news00:00:08
you will understand everything now, here you go,00:00:12
2021 in Russia has been declared the year of science and00:00:15
technology, applause is about to come from00:00:18
Russian technologies, congratulations to you, I00:00:21
read all this on a Korean phone,00:00:23
made myself a coffee in an Italian coffee machine,00:00:25
sat down in a German car arrived at the00:00:29
Armenian office, opened an American00:00:33
laptop, I said, let's get ready for the year of00:00:35
Russian technology, all the guys00:00:38
lost their braids, just00:00:40
what the hell year of Russian technology,00:00:43
but I began to study this issue and it00:00:46
turns out there are00:00:47
ladies and gentlemen, applause, Russian00:00:50
technology, forget about it and recessions, forget00:00:57
about the Korean ones tablet and because ladies00:00:59
and gentlemen, attention Russian tablet00:01:03
Orion00:01:07
name Orion because. and 210 0800:01:12
I see how I want to say this all00:01:16
evening I was stuck in the Orion PKF 210 0th00:01:21
cool because guys this is not the full00:01:23
name of the Orion pk and 210 0800:01:27
a g r sh. 46 5200:01:31
29.0 2108 I00:01:35
grabbed my lungs for swimming I go as a [ __ ]00:01:38
I want the children to buy such a tablet, they00:01:41
sit there and they will learn all the letters and numbers without00:01:44
including the tablet and to be honest they00:01:48
won’t hang out all day in our00:01:50
Russian tablet because it weighs00:01:52
attention00:01:53
18 The tablet weighs more than all my children00:02:01
combined,00:02:02
this is the first tablet that pumps both00:02:05
movies and biceps, I have a feeling00:02:08
that the developers told you three00:02:11
billion, come up with something in weight and not a00:02:13
word more weighty, so weighty and00:02:16
guys, show me the flight again, look,00:02:19
he’s a [ __ ] through the diameter00:02:21
you to understand they just crucified the screen,00:02:25
I want to look at the back side,00:02:28
or as Kirkorov Baskov said, let’s00:02:30
look at this creature and00:02:33
look around from behind, it’s just that the hole punch [ __ ]00:02:37
the TV, that’s all you00:02:44
understand, that this is a tablet that you can00:02:46
try, just a question, look to the right00:02:51
and left,00:02:52
how long have you been I've seen pistons in tablets,00:02:57
I think it should be closed like a hood00:02:59
just for now00:03:01
because look there are 2 pieces of00:03:03
anti-freeze stuff already there, they're there00:03:05
to fill in okay okay okay I'll fall00:03:09
okay maybe it didn't00:03:10
work out with tablets then we should00:03:12
have a normal computer I looked who00:03:15
is developing computers and00:03:16
processors in Russia, this is the Moscow00:03:19
center of spark technologies, or in short,00:03:22
show them the test,00:03:26
I can just see the conversation at school, why are you00:03:29
so happy, and the parents said to00:03:31
come home at home, waiting for am cest, that’s00:03:33
going to, why such names,00:03:37
go to the site, see what they are00:03:39
produce microprocessors and SBIS, I00:03:43
think that they decided that there is00:03:45
a microprocessor before from without John,00:03:47
everything is00:03:49
fine, the name is fine, what do they produce00:03:52
guys, get ready to pay attention, the Russian00:03:54
laptop is immediately visible, yes, the child of incest is00:04:00
just extra chromosomes, like somewhere,00:04:02
he has the following photo and question to the00:04:06
hall and so guys, what is this, let's get00:04:10
versions of a floor scale, a00:04:13
disk drive, what else is a titanium birdhouse, a terminator00:04:17
tape recorder, you'll never00:04:21
guess this is a Russian flag, this is a flash drive guys, I00:04:27
want to say the flash drive is just a bomb, I'm00:04:30
anti-personnel so-so and I00:04:32
imagine about guys attention this is a00:04:36
500 kilobyte flash drive for now to live even00:04:39
less than00:04:40
458 body and 7 files [ __ ], you all00:04:45
understand that the fish in the aquarium has00:04:48
more memory, this one, which is a committee of three00:04:51
glass stone glass,00:04:53
it has more memory, you understand that the00:04:56
photo of this flash drive will not fit on this00:05:00
flash drive,00:05:02
but attention it is a stitch, the developers00:05:05
say that a shockproof flash drive00:05:07
can be dropped00:05:09
from a height of 1 meter, that this flash drive will be00:05:13
thrown is a fact,00:05:16
but you understand how offensive it is that you dropped one00:05:19
centimeter from one meter and00:05:22
lost all seven words that were there, I00:05:26
understand that all this is military-industrial00:05:29
equipment, but in our country not only00:05:31
industries military for us for people00:05:34
make some technologies just for00:05:36
us please be honest let's if we00:05:42
scold we should praise them00:05:44
in Russia they can come up with cool00:05:45
awesome things ladies and gentlemen attention the Russian00:05:48
tram you can show you can00:05:56
agree yes it looks awesome00:05:59
because the picture00:06:02
okay it's not there they made one after all, they00:06:05
made a tram just in case, let me remind you00:06:08
that it can take 250 people or two00:06:10
Russian laptops in the basic00:06:14
package, attention,00:06:16
navigation systems are provided: Glonass and GPS 200:06:20
navigation systems00:06:21
I have a question for the developers, do they give a00:06:24
crap about navigation systems for a thing00:06:27
that drives around the rails can’t count on anything00:06:34
like in Russia we have women who00:06:37
drive the trams by these crazy people00:06:38
who turned off somewhere, it’s not00:06:42
clear to be honest the tram never00:06:45
went into mass production because00:06:47
please show official information00:06:50
because it’s not suitable for repair they00:06:55
haven’t figured out how to fix it Think about it, I see00:06:58
this designer that people wo00:07:00
n’t assemble this crap even a second time,00:07:09
I actually planned a flash drive for the first time,00:07:15
but to be honest, there are cool developments,00:07:17
though the index has developed a00:07:19
food delivery robot, please show me, yes, but00:07:23
we are not ready, we are Russians, we are not ready, and00:07:25
I I’ll explain to you why, look, here’s a00:07:27
cute delivery robot, yes, tell me,00:07:31
but what is the first desire that arises at00:07:34
the sight of this robot, of00:07:36
course, of course,00:07:41
or just for fun, the wheels are00:07:43
spinning, we’re not going,00:07:46
okay, in Moscow, rubbed in within the00:07:48
garden nothing will happen to him, but00:07:50
only he will leave here are 3 rings to the side and00:07:53
immediately a delivery man who is on a bicycle00:07:54
like Reply00:07:57
[applause]00:08:03
from all over Russia there will be00:08:05
boys following this who will see who I’m00:08:07
going to deliver from whom God00:08:09
1 we see love okay we don’t know how to00:08:13
create new technologies it’s clear what00:08:15
we created we don’t know how to00:08:17
name it, even here’s a short list of00:08:20
what we’ve come up with lately00:08:22
e-mobile00:08:23
robot Fedor robot Boris smartphone Ermak00:08:30
guys, just a smartphone here tank what00:08:37
can you call a smartphone00:08:38
Ermak you need to think about marketing about00:08:41
brands no one will ever hear that00:08:43
Marina is so happy pumped on gear00:08:46
max I'm now going to [ __ ] on the00:08:50
tablet Orion Peka and 20700:08:54
8/7 862 erasing 086 bare all mobile00:09:01
company house and family00:09:03
killed cities for whom is this smartphone Ermak a00:09:09
very [ __ ] and smartphone Stepan Razin00:09:13
tablets Emelyan Pugachev and smartphone00:09:17
Vsevolod big nest from here with such a00:09:20
connector for charging and a free00:09:23
navigator Ivan Susanin so that all these00:09:25
gave bans Toph in the forest to drive00:09:28
just just yours you understand, yes, they00:09:32
somehow came up with the Ermak smartphone,00:09:34
they probably sat and thought so what does00:09:37
apple have there,00:09:38
apple has a computer what is the name of the00:09:39
elemental magician ermak, I understand why our00:09:47
scientists won’t come up with anything, they are too00:09:49
cool, the condition is comfortable, so you’ve seen00:09:51
Skolkovo, you’ll remember Skolkovo’s00:09:53
futuristic glass building, they have carpets,00:09:56
soft sofas, lounge areas, a restaurant00:10:00
and there are 300 varieties of coffee there, no maps of00:10:03
Skolkova is different from whose and not only00:10:05
because the chicane doesn’t work,00:10:09
people work, they smoke, but tell me, it’s hard00:10:14
to come up with some kind of technology when00:10:16
you have 15 types of cappuccino and you00:10:18
come to Skolkovo in a Porsche Panamera,00:10:20
while you’ve tried all types of coffee, there’s00:10:23
only time left to hammer a nail into the tablet and00:10:26
Mary went back, I swear we need to [ __ ]00:10:29
turn everything off in Skolkovo, no00:10:32
Wi-Fi, no Internet, no 3G, nothing so that00:10:35
they walk around empty Skolkovo with a kilogram00:10:37
and flash drives under these with layers and a share, you00:10:40
need at least batteries to come up with the [ __ ] that one is00:10:42
cold, something like that, about guys00:10:45
Newton was just sitting under a tree,00:10:48
Archimedes had a bath and water and there was no00:10:52
need to [ __ ] demolish Skolkovo and just00:10:55
put up an apple tree and a bath for the00:11:03
director to sit on under the apple tree in the00:11:05
bathroom, sit for months, think00:11:08
maybe Ermak is [ __ ],00:11:14
why not, yes, you need everything disconnect00:11:19
in Russia seriously capes which we don’t00:11:21
need scientists we’ll come up with everything ourselves00:11:23
just cancel the planes our chicks00:11:26
will come up with a teleport in Dubai in three days I’m00:11:31
back I’m already on budget and I’m glad to buy00:11:36
connect the plug ass belay00:11:39
sheikhs sgu let’s cell splitter at00:11:45
the end I would like to state the essence this00:11:48
monologue so that it fits on a00:11:51
Russian flash drive I00:11:52
only have seven words,00:11:55
please make good technologies and00:11:59
three more words would happen to the00:12:05
guys, we need to do something00:12:08
scientists, save it for you, it’s so nice to00:12:12
perform while00:12:17
[applause] the00:12:22
beetles00:12:24
are returning to TNT, what’s the problem?00:12:27
ready pond and00:12:28
hard work you return to the horror00:12:33
act 1 here or is there anyone else00:12:36
older than me here only the temple00:12:38
[music]00:12:40
you and the fund and one in half the water without starting00:12:43
tell me where I fell or at least where the00:12:46
beetles came from and 2 s April 5 at 8 pm00:12:49
on TNT00:12:51
[music]00:12:58
[music]Description:
В год науки про российские технологии. Павел Воля. Эфир от 26.03.2021 Подписывайся и смотри новые видео несколько раз в неделю! Смотри ComedyClub по пятницам в 21:00 на ТНТ. Comedy Club в соц. сетях: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ComedyClubRussia Inst: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Vk: https://vk.com/tvcomedy Тик Ток - https://www.tiktok.com/@comedyclubru Телеканал ТНТ в соц. сетях: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/tntonlineru Inst: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser VK: https://vk.com/tnt Производство: Comedy Club Production Павел Воля: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser
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