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Download "Елка. Дети. Два стола — Уральские Пельмени"

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Table of contents
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Table of contents

0:00
Начало
0:50
Лепим снежную бабу
8:08
Две семьи на Новый Год
17:35
Танец в животе
21:20
Песня «Минералка»
25:20
Новый год в СССР
33:12
Новый год в общежитии
37:33
Новогодние новости
41:29
Поздравление с Новым Годом
41:35
Отец первого января
49:58
Перепутали подарки
1:00:32
Финальная песня
Video tags
|

Video tags

уральские пельмени
шоу
юмор
шутки
пельмени
уральские дмитрий брекоткин
андрей рожков
дмитрий соколов
вячеслав мясников
юлия михалкова
александр попов
сергей ершов
сергей исаев
максим ярица
премьера
стс
видео
смех
квн
москва
екатеринбург
новое шоу
роман постовалов
артем пушкин
ксения корнева
данила пятков
снежная баба
танец в животе
новый год в ссср
отец первого января
в общежитии
Subtitles
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Subtitles

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  • ruRussian
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00:00:15
he
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[music]
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[applause]
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what's your mood
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Oksana that he's not a concert Christmas tree children and
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tail
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[applause]
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Negan fell in do-si-
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do it's time to make a snow woman
00:01:23
at night here we'll arrange it
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well you came up with let me hide the bottle in the ball
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rover products watch and we gave birth to the snow
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woman
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in another place and hid it behind the sofa and where are
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we going
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[music]
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I’m not serious who are you there in the wrong place
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why were they walking the dogs there
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I don’t understand these dog walkers in general it’s
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difficult to take your dog after your dog or
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something the floor has started fertilizer and as I
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understand it, I’m also a
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good dog, well, I’m not saying I should have
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trusted Seryoga to do the job with the snow
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woman’s dad, I want Seryoga right away, well, you’re a
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fitness instructor, you and Bob’s dad
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are doing
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this water, it’ll go away quickly
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[music]
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[applause]
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snowy woman, let's do your head like this,
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go make your men's heads in
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one,
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bring it,
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understandably, we were drinking, we hid
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the seeker behind the beer, and we didn't think about your hangover,
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where did they all upload it?
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and
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everything is fine, why is it an eye, well,
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well, where are the branches for the hands and
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the branches, and the main thing I remember is something for the hands, I
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needed a cream, I bought gloves for the hands, a
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ring van, a book on palmistry, well,
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go any kind as further as with the
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nose us that something and who
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[music]
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[applause]
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salon Izya and you have a carrot 20
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rubles
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here you go 1 2 until there is a carrot
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sell the
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young man you paid only for information
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about carrots
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it’s clear everything how much our promotion costs today
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if you take two carrots to us no
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need two carrots, we are not making a snowman, a
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snowman, we have one stamp in
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the class, money, your license, 40 rubles, 40
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rubles, okay, here are five rubles in change, 10
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rubles you have, you decide what you
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need to hand in, or wear a carrot
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with pleasure,
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but as I understand it, size 1 Wouldn’t they have
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discussed with us in advance the smallest Dalida
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in murder, learn young man
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here you don’t have to pay for training anya
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no this webinar is free for you
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[music]
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Mikhailovich I have a question for you tell me
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why Jews always end up in the right
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place and at the right time before this them
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You understand from experience when you’ve been walking in the desert for 40 years
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and you can end up in the right
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place, you learn quickly,
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so we
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will become and we will become a community, I apologize, but these are the
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ones who supposedly we, they even did
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what they didn’t do, the open one asked for a
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conflict situation to be created further.
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solve this issue on the 70th
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apartment itself and I rent it out daily you are there
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every day some Olga’s drinking is
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impossible
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so firstly I don’t know anything and secondly there is
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no need to envy
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how and thirdly let’s solve something on the
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thigh for a snowman I have a square on but
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plastic won’t work at all a woman with
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empty buckets is a bad omen I’m busy
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the bucket I sold nine
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I threw the garbage in a bag my wife won’t
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give me a bucket each, what’s the
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video especially and
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[music]
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oh what a beauty
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[music]
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casinos have already learned how to make such
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beauty that Typically, she came
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to me on such a day,
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how much does it cost? Well, what do you think,
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that I would sell it to my friends on such a day,
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go away
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only for rent,
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both of them, well, that’s it,
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let’s take a photo of the snow woman, waterhouse, under the
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dub, I’m wearing it, it turns out that’s what it’s like
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Izya you can hug Ksyusha harder
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it’s free and it’s Maxima
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smiled maximum come on oh
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cool listening I need the same
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photo can you baby here in
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the window look we should all
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be there and here just press a little longer
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on your own throw Maido Maidanov us with a photo
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come on when you don’t let
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you down,
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well done, what a worthwhile thing, run after
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him and what show to watch after him, what
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show Russia has dumplings
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[applause]
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[music]
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[applause]
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[music] I
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wish a Russian girl would take a
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chocolate bar from a fascist that you give me this case with
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Turkey she remembers that all the time
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[music]
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if the husband behaved well all year, then in the
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New Year he can take a little sip in the
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firewood
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[applause]
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I dressed myself up in
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coral beads and you can’t find mine, so she’s
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paying, she can’t be like that right away,
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let’s let's have dinner,
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that's a corner
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for four, or we'll still have an army of
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homeless
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snacks, there will still be hot salads and
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desserts,
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well, let's do it before we sit down.
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I thought we were also chipping in, standing in a lot of
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lockers, ask where it’s nonsense, it’s not
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nonsense, we were last time around 30,000
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each, Dasha,
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it was a good new year, so yes,
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profitable,
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and you understand that yes, why are we changing
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the location to was we were
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celebrating a
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good year again, it was a good year when Then I
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couldn’t look at the potatoes for a year, I couldn’t look at all
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3 tbsp and that’s how I ate the card, I’m a fan,
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what are you worried about, then I read everything from the receipts,
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well, I won’t borrow from no more than 5 6
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thousand, that’s it, come on, let’s
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buy another canteen,
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what’s it worth? for 6000 it will wash everything then
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it’s accounting at home, we ate
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what’s there and it’s not hungry we won’t eat
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stakes you didn’t eat
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when you didn’t eat and
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then the elevator and steel you didn’t eat
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rotten you’re from hunger that you’re hungry if
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you’re hungry at night who
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cut down the floor of the pan potatoes
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woke up at night nice, and also half a pan, who
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only had it for five days, threw it away
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somewhere in you, I
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want you to definitely try
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this pasta with truffles, it’s very tasty,
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what’s here, noodles with candies, what can I say, I
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almost forgot to say, come on, let’s try it,
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it’s Italian parmesan cheese, but here it is
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we don’t need this, we need to crush this with
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tractors,
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let me take a look,
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see if there are traces from the tractor
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or not, if there are, then I would like it like this, and
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my favorite blue cheese, you
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definitely need this, this is definitely not necessary,
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this is definitely not necessary,
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nothing is needed, why and just
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think about it, if a Russian girl would have taken a
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chocolate bar from the Nazis, why should you remind me in this case
00:11:02
with Turkey that why are
00:11:06
you constantly asking me so many staff, strong-willed
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peas, and black caviar, why should I put these griefs
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more
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Kolya didn’t forget to hold on and don’t let the fire
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while this will also be included in the check I
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want this but no thanks class your
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lights you have a whole box to
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light everything will be
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fine here you guys everything is great well you
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know what’s missing is the main
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dish on the table there are some potatoes or
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sauerkraut but there’s nothing for old people to grab onto
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then you try everything on all the time, but
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young people now eat like this, well,
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young people,
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Slava and I studied in the same school in the
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same class,
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all sorts of nasty things, his body doesn’t
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develop,
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if you see the words, don’t forget last
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New Year, I wo
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n’t forget this potato adventure for a long time,
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the pain and that’s why in this year surprise
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it's tasteless learned about everything how much you love
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12 kilograms of choice potatoes and
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garlic appreciated the surprise let's put Kolya on a
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spoon so he can eat it all enjoy
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take the envelope from under the tree let's go let's
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just say that these but the robbers
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attacked the house there well they flooded us
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say some kind of nonsense go say that
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you don’t teach oh phone call to me
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she yes yes you that the robbers
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oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh flooded the apartment the
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iron is not
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even worth it and the robbers and the iron were not turned off
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they flooded we have to go home urgently nightmare
00:13:03
what Kolya who called, the son from the army, the
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youngest who is two years old, who does not
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say that the
00:13:15
stressful situation spoke
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while Caleb or whatever is under the tree in short,
00:13:22
they will give us apple smartphones for
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each one hundred thousand each, what are you doing, what is it
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like, we will sell one smartphone to
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your
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table I still have enough left for the boat,
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I completely forgot guys, I completely forgot
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the gift I forgot to give you, I forgot to give you a
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symbol of the New Year,
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it’s not real, what to insist, I’m a
00:14:00
compliment on the stuffed animal,
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you know, they included that the most
00:14:06
important thing is the eyes, smoky eyes, what
00:14:08
realistic coral do you see?
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on the gusle at home and are very similar,
00:14:16
come in general, I burn the students, I
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have a hunter that I have my tit and sparrow
00:14:22
and I have a dove, I
00:14:25
made a reconstruction of cockroaches on the kitchen table for 200 years of the Battle of Borodino; I
00:14:39
also found a cockroach and I didn’t understand, you’re not going home and
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what are you doing, these people who
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flooded the iron at the gate,
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so he’s
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a year or two old, he was like women, I didn’t understand
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what he was saying, that’s another envelope for you for
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3000 each, clumsiness, one child at home
00:14:54
mulch lupus will get bored, well,
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how will he tie it from Medvedkovo to Kutuzovsky,
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he will come running, well, our neighbors
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lost a cat and they were looking for looking for a cat,
00:15:12
looking and looking, they didn’t find it, well, all
00:15:15
the neighbors that your little child is alone
00:15:18
at home, they are alone with the cat, it’s
00:15:21
not finished there yet what else are you
00:15:24
going to do with your eyes,
00:15:25
what are you even talking about, let’s give
00:15:27
him gifts, I don’t know,
00:15:32
come on, close your eyes on all sales,
00:15:35
the surprise will be
00:15:38
interesting, but
00:15:43
this, yes, this is this, this is a surprise, when
00:15:49
I saw
00:15:50
a potato peeler in the Chinese market, see a smartphone,
00:15:52
immediately take it and I thought
00:15:57
[music]
00:15:59
he liked it, he said Zhirkov, it’s a surprise,
00:16:03
so Galenka, but for you, nothing like that,
00:16:05
but there’s no imagination, they didn’t come up with their head, they were
00:16:07
racking their brains, they were racking up nothing, so it’s
00:16:09
corny for you to have a new smartphone with three cameras,
00:16:17
how many come on, let’s squeak
00:16:19
New Year’s OSes, get up, Galenka, let’s go to the
00:16:22
new camera, there’s a video there
00:16:24
exceptionally good Kolya Tass
00:16:26
but it's Happy New Year
00:16:31
you all or something Happy
00:16:33
New Year of the
00:16:36
Rat
00:16:40
[applause]
00:16:42
[music]
00:16:48
[music]
00:16:55
[applause]
00:16:58
[music] [applause]
00:17:02
[music] [applause]
00:17:08
[music]
00:17:10
well then a herring under a fur coat my
00:17:13
beloved
00:17:15
[music]
00:17:16
[applause]
00:17:19
[music]
00:17:20
[applause]
00:17:25
[music]
00:17:33
my friends for your attention an excerpt from the
00:17:37
ballet new year open your mouth belly dance
00:17:44
[music]
00:17:48
even though we are late for everything as always we are
00:17:50
fine again everything is still
00:17:52
half an hour in time until the new year
00:17:57
[music]
00:18:00
go away dryly, it’s great if you want to go to school,
00:18:03
go give me my old one, what’s the
00:18:05
fine for him on js work, he just didn’t eat
00:18:07
anything, the
00:18:08
final first,
00:18:14
or the value
00:18:16
[applause]
00:18:17
of the
00:18:18
body between the first and second gears, otherwise
00:18:21
I 2 are you crazy? he didn’t eat anything, that’s when I
00:18:23
cooked a couple of dumplings
00:18:27
[music]
00:18:32
Leshka’s good later,
00:18:36
well, for the dumplings, the second one needs to be
00:18:38
somewhere, that’s so much, well, something right
00:18:40
at hand, right there are more dumplings for
00:18:43
[music]
00:18:48
2 went well,
00:18:51
well that in the middle of no third ones until
00:18:54
he eats, well then, there are tears, that under the fur coat is my
00:18:57
beloved
00:18:58
[music]
00:19:02
[applause]
00:19:03
[music]
00:19:09
and why are
00:19:10
you crazy, come on, give me
00:19:13
[music]
00:19:18
Ali Khamenei, what kind of
00:19:22
artysh is not artyshta for you, black screen, yes, just don’t
00:19:25
lean too hard and We don’t have enough, I just try
00:19:28
[music]
00:19:36
please pay attention my Tanya
00:19:39
has been making canapeshki all day long Nuka Nuka
00:19:44
[music]
00:19:50
to the music while the girls are talking let’s go
00:19:53
downstairs I Vanga will show us and
00:19:55
it’s cool a mile away well for the workbench
00:20:00
you are so cool tiki well for the disks
00:20:04
[music]
00:20:06
pliers prima classe
00:20:08
well, that's how it should be
00:20:12
guys, where have you gone I'm going look
00:20:14
what you're doing there
00:20:20
[applause] [music]
00:20:28
well, that's it, it's all new year champagne everyone
00:20:32
[music]
00:20:37
[applause]
00:20:40
Rome from you what's bad or what, like two
00:20:43
activated tablets coal will come out
00:20:45
[music]
00:20:53
[applause]
00:20:59
psycho reading along the way I went through it
00:21:06
[applause]
00:21:09
[music]
00:21:15
well
00:21:21
good evening friends right away the
00:21:24
New Year's song
00:21:26
on the symbol of the New Year
00:21:31
many symbols have a new year tangerine
00:21:35
and a caviar sandwich this Olivier tree and a
00:21:39
snowman with a slight beard give the drinking
00:21:42
old man a herring under a fur coat of faith and with his hands
00:21:46
he caught the
00:21:47
blue New Year's light symbol of
00:21:51
the holiday, everyone has their own, but the most
00:21:54
important thing is still the same help
00:21:58
no
00:21:59
[music]
00:22:00
mineral water winner
00:22:05
magic wand mineral water trusted me
00:22:09
points of New Year's gatherings lifesaver in
00:22:14
the store you can do something you may forget, you may
00:22:18
not even buy tangerines, but you will forget
00:22:21
if you take mineral water in
00:22:24
the morning 1 you will die,
00:22:28
make us human and
00:22:30
brings all parents and baths closer together, why did you
00:22:34
give birth to children so that someone would drop mineral water for
00:22:38
you and
00:22:40
now I gave away the knowledge there
00:22:42
should always be a tass by the bed
00:22:45
to survive the New Year's blues, a basin for the
00:22:49
night, mineral water in the morning,
00:22:55
but you don't have gatherings, Venus is a lifesaver before the
00:22:59
mineral water, mineral water about the opening,
00:23:03
I'm drinking a stick and I'm now so Santa Claus
00:23:07
will go to the hall and I'll give gifts for
00:23:11
you today in the hall, sort out the older mineral water
00:23:15
for yourself and crush your drinking friends
00:23:20
.
00:23:22
autoplay
00:23:23
but 6 . mineral water by minerals.
00:23:28
1
00:23:29
drunks gifts for yourself
00:23:31
[music]
00:23:34
you take 2 you
00:23:36
will need it after the concert
00:23:39
and now we’ll add another bottle
00:23:41
boy yes you take the mineral water in the morning of
00:23:45
January 1 from dad on the tablet you’ll exchange it with
00:23:51
friends we take the mineral water I know that
00:23:55
you all have it but it’s all still not
00:23:58
enough
00:24:03
[applause]
00:24:07
mineral water, mineral water, elbow pad visited me
00:24:12
.
00:24:14
comedy
00:24:17
can I almost not the
00:24:22
elbow pad turned gray from the rescue
00:24:25
[applause]
00:24:36
intro
00:24:39
[applause]
00:24:40
[music]
00:24:43
[applause]
00:24:46
[music]
00:24:48
[applause]
00:24:49
[music]
00:24:57
[music] same
00:25:04
thing what is sex sex 6
00:25:10
[music]
00:25:13
he
00:25:17
[music]
00:25:19
in the USSR sex there wasn’t, but Russian women
00:25:23
always took it out from under the floor
00:25:27
TV on New Year’s without the TV I fix
00:25:29
eyewitnesses of the accounting and I fix it, you can have
00:25:33
a tangerine, no, but there’s no
00:25:35
candy, and you
00:25:37
can open a bag, no, I said, and I’m
00:25:40
definitely dear to you,
00:25:43
but it’s already a gift for me, we’ll burn at my
00:25:46
work wait until the new year and girls
00:25:49
go get some bread
00:25:51
my Valer I’m even worried about the use right now for us then
00:25:53
that’s enough no depends on what for
00:25:56
if everyone in Sverdlovsk survives the nuclear winter
00:25:59
then no it won’t be enough
00:26:01
the inscription add Happy New Year Jobs
00:26:03
the moon was visible then he’s walking
00:26:06
me all the time go better go to
00:26:08
Spiridonov ask for stools with
00:26:10
nature, he can’t ask for a waffle iron, you’ll have to
00:26:13
give away the
00:26:14
papers, I’m
00:26:16
fixing the TV, whose
00:26:20
expensive product I’ve earned the
00:26:26
form again to please
00:26:29
the promo, I’m even teaching, said persimmon,
00:26:33
listening for the last three years, he doesn’t
00:26:35
understand what he’s saying at all,
00:26:37
listen, well, garbage in general, 16 years in power
00:26:40
seems to me more no one else will
00:26:43
sit with him, not when the beam
00:26:47
sounds somewhere, what is it, well, Vovka will come, a
00:26:52
normal soldering iron will come, we’ll do it
00:26:55
normally, Vovka will come, and he called Vovka so that, well, for
00:26:58
some reason he said here,
00:27:00
we can have a person here today, I called 10,
00:27:02
this is already called 10
00:27:05
people, you won’t come then are we whose title as
00:27:08
ours from me all of them cancels the protection of our own
00:27:11
and from me I have here a list of three
00:27:13
of my own from me actually I have all very
00:27:16
respected people and I have a flea or something
00:27:18
I don’t know
00:27:20
what to do I don’t know what to do it’s yours
00:27:23
well let's start with grandfather, let's not wake up grandfather, let him wake up
00:27:26
as usual, 2 will wake up -1
00:27:28
place everything is here for a period of waiting,
00:27:32
I won't sleep through this time, I have a bladder
00:27:36
for 12 zags,
00:27:39
I don't know what they came up with here, but I don't wish you these
00:27:43
two stools for me and Lydia
00:27:46
Timofeevna there will be a diet
00:27:49
when I don’t know at all, so the beginning, either
00:27:52
we followed the Timofeevnas, we’ll be sitting on these
00:27:55
stools, or I’ll be lying on these
00:27:57
stools under a wooden blanket,
00:28:02
they called Dima Vienna, you can do it
00:28:05
at any time, you yourself are now a
00:28:07
pensioner, but in general, you’re young, you can do
00:28:11
anything time I'm asking for this
00:28:13
meeting for a year I've been preparing to
00:28:16
bring it to your TV in Asia that
00:28:19
Russian Crimea and I'll charge them at Kaspersky fast food
00:28:23
here I've already turned it off near the
00:28:25
shore
00:28:26
I'm charging
00:28:30
what's there charge to canada so I'm charging
00:28:35
it what is it I don't know here I need it if all
00:28:40
10 of your people were to be seated near
00:28:42
the TV, the husband would have dissolved
00:28:44
to start, that on mine we need it, it just so
00:28:47
happened, well, let’s call all 20 of them, well,
00:28:49
one day we sit on the floor, too, you
00:28:52
yourself are not ashamed, 20 steps for one
00:28:53
goose,
00:28:54
let’s say that in this time you wouldn’t have
00:28:57
everyone in the know about me, a goose has been hanging in a bag
00:29:01
from outside the window since October, everyone saw it,
00:29:04
I’ll go to Lyokha, I’ll send Lyokha for bread a second time, why is it the
00:29:07
second time I’m stirring everything now,
00:29:10
mom bought it,
00:29:13
go get a second one, I’m already full,
00:29:16
so go to
00:29:18
bed, everyone It seemed like you
00:29:22
can’t explain this Vovka to us
00:29:23
why you are also just wondering in general
00:29:25
the right person Vovka is like a vision
00:29:28
car mechanics in general I don’t care about you
00:29:30
car mechanic we’re standing in line for car 729
00:29:33
and what the heck is yours Kupriyanov’s
00:29:38
wife he doesn’t even know what for
00:29:40
the bloke and in general, by the way, Kupriyanov
00:29:42
is the third secretary of the district committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union,
00:29:45
what are you
00:29:47
thinking, a man is moving faster than
00:29:49
communism,
00:29:51
the more I believe in it, I saw it, I
00:29:54
really saw it,
00:29:56
look at you, this Kupriyanov is
00:30:01
no longer the third secretary of the district committee,
00:30:03
I understood the score to ola going to draw to grow
00:30:07
to grow we have such a misfortune,
00:30:09
imagine us, the neighbors
00:30:10
from above flooded us before the holiday,
00:30:12
but apparently in a year all the
00:30:14
best, but such a misfortune, goodbye for and
00:30:18
shock your Kupriyanov, look is-3 attack of
00:30:21
district committee secretaries in the second secretaries
00:30:24
of the regional committees jumped
00:30:26
couldn’t say it
00:30:31
go hello to such a part we have such happiness we can
00:30:34
imagine from below the neighbors
00:30:36
the fire started
00:30:38
it was kind and will play right before our eyes yes yes
00:30:40
yes everything is going away even the pie has arrived with
00:30:42
cabbage
00:30:44
we are waiting we are waiting we are waiting notes to diplomats you are
00:30:47
all shadows come on, all the moms bought
00:30:55
you will grow up already he just a little bit a little bit a
00:30:59
little bit counting on soldered there even
00:31:02
foreign what are you doing
00:31:06
on another channel from two videos I
00:31:10
also want this sex sex 6
00:31:15
exactly five five sex 6 also to amaze and and
00:31:20
men skype countries he has half naked
00:31:22
her time asks
00:31:25
where are you headed again already I’m so surprised it’s
00:31:29
not a channel then all the actors look like our
00:31:31
grandfather
00:31:34
[applause]
00:31:37
at least they wanted a TV, they bought a TV for my 5c,
00:31:42
look, I’m an engineer after all, which
00:31:45
means you have the heaviest drinker on your list
00:31:47
these are the ones I have here these are the ones
00:31:51
let's call them to 7 the other
00:31:54
nine this changes everything change everything
00:31:57
radically they are already in the stacks at 9
00:31:59
and we mean look we really take them here in the
00:32:03
enclosure so how small it is so
00:32:07
then it means like this warbler and on top
00:32:11
means koba board with dumplings and
00:32:14
starts immediately with the tabletops and the sacrifice all
00:32:17
nuka nuka if everything works out what I’m
00:32:22
planning here right now on our table is not
00:32:24
only bread, but there will also be butter and
00:32:27
black caviar, that’s exactly what
00:32:30
young Lesha Pajitnov came up with in 1979
00:32:34
tatis and
00:32:37
[applause]
00:32:40
cool to the world.
00:32:44
[applause]
00:32:45
[music]
00:32:50
[applause]
00:32:56
[applause]
00:32:57
[music]
00:32:58
[applause]
00:33:00
[music]
00:33:12
[applause]
00:33:17
if there are 4 guitars and 4 handsome men on stage it's
00:33:22
just some kind of song
00:33:24
[applause]
00:33:27
[music]
00:33:33
message to everyone everyone everyone come exactly
00:33:36
at seven to the hostel number 7,
00:33:41
hello everyone, I accepted the gear to the hostel
00:33:44
number seven, what’s everyone’s name, don’t care,
00:33:49
no, then I have 07, go away with everyone, but
00:33:54
there are 4, well, or
00:33:58
5s 4 b05, so glad to meet you, what’s
00:34:03
everyone’s name, don’t care,
00:34:07
no alcohol sorry, it’s not scary, get out
00:34:11
because of the course, he’s
00:34:15
great and honey mushrooms, why let’s take his guys,
00:34:19
come in, but only dil
00:34:24
when the salad starts pouring, don’t rush for
00:34:28
another 30, then I’ll start Araks
00:34:31
[music]
00:34:35
why hurry up? Police Major
00:34:38
Sergei
00:34:40
has come to arrest you, I’ll keep you with your kvass
00:34:44
wine from you until I arrest the class you have
00:34:49
fire in general we are rhyming here oh
00:34:52
sorry I’m just all at them and I’m yelling
00:35:02
and in the New Year
00:35:05
5 such a joke Ruth salad I’m lying on vodka
00:35:08
they’re eating the police here I’m here
00:35:13
deal with this rabble everyone hands
00:35:16
up to jail go glass take a
00:35:20
toast for freedom
00:35:25
[music]
00:35:27
and
00:35:28
for freedom and I also want to say
00:35:33
who wants to shoot here is a gun I
00:35:36
dance
00:35:45
[music]
00:35:46
message with all my heart to live in general and
00:35:49
number seven there is a stream of rowdy nightmare of
00:35:54
fights with cats the fire was shooting at
00:35:58
pigeons glasses, light bulbs, shoes,
00:36:02
drunken women squealing and behind the channel kids
00:36:06
alone currencies on every floor
00:36:20
at the moment Sergei,
00:36:26
I’ll say this people what a tough new
00:36:31
year you are, what else 30 is going more
00:36:37
fun
00:36:39
waiting for everyone horror 10 days
00:36:43
vacation Sergei took himself
00:36:49
[applause]
00:36:52
[music]
00:36:56
[applause ]
00:37:01
but
00:37:04
[applause]
00:37:14
[music]
00:37:15
[applause]
00:37:21
[music] [applause]
00:37:23
[music]
00:37:30
[music]
00:37:33
good evening dear friends on the air
00:37:35
New Year's news broadcast you are with you in the
00:37:37
studio Ksenia Korneva and Sergey and the site
00:37:41
New Year is always a miracle and the President's New Year's
00:37:43
address photo is also a miracle,
00:37:46
so we will ask all the leaders of our country to
00:37:48
help us comment on the
00:37:50
main events of the outgoing year, so
00:37:52
the news of the outgoing year
00:37:55
[music]
00:38:04
dear comrades and friends of
00:38:10
show business will tell you the
00:38:11
song released by Kirkorov about the color of
00:38:14
the mood, to hell everyone sent him this
00:38:18
very good
00:38:20
correct redhead
00:38:25
[applause]
00:38:27
national team players and vegetables are watching and
00:38:31
now football not only with a feeling of
00:38:33
bitterness
00:38:36
with painted faces
00:38:39
asked for the disappearance of such an ancient
00:38:43
Russian
00:38:44
tradition
00:38:47
of those
00:38:49
100 more lonely show business men
00:38:53
Petrosyan unplugging the cord even Lunokhod-1
00:38:59
current news
00:39:01
all participants house2 structure
00:39:05
they say cautiously and closes it, we will do everything to make
00:39:09
you happy,
00:39:14
Buzova called you in marriage, but something didn’t work out,
00:39:17
maybe it’s important that she is from
00:39:21
1970,
00:39:24
we have mobile news, a new
00:39:26
phone came out, what a little to
00:39:31
kill him,
00:39:32
she was going to a new hole
00:39:37
in the coming year, free
00:39:42
speech therapists in the hospital will be cut chechen they are only
00:39:49
international news, not the northernmost
00:39:53
stream, they are calling for more times,
00:39:56
we will block it, try to keep this
00:40:00
warmth longer,
00:40:06
and there is little talk about Russian hackers, they
00:40:09
also say that they elected Trump,
00:40:12
honor and glory to you, expensive goods, I am not
00:40:17
news can do without predictions, you are
00:40:20
already in yourself on vime and salty nose denis and
00:40:24
so it will be for 10 days
00:40:26
[music]
00:40:28
optimistic news after
00:40:32
such holidays there will be in the world not only extra
00:40:36
pounds, ceremonial betty,
00:40:40
and finally,
00:40:42
tell everyone about the spirit of this
00:40:45
coming new year, new year with
00:40:49
new happiness,
00:40:51
dear comrades
00:40:53
not
00:41:02
[music]
00:41:13
[ applause]
00:41:21
[music]
00:41:34
oh
00:41:38
where is the mineral water
00:41:42
zeratul mineral water style
00:41:45
where is it needed mineral water or golovanova
00:41:51
no mineral water no heads new
00:41:55
call an ambulance let them deal with
00:41:58
me
00:42:01
[music]
00:42:07
who
00:42:10
[music]
00:42:12
I agree to be your dad just don’t
00:42:15
yell please
00:42:20
ready means go
00:42:25
then stay
00:42:29
quietly on the couch
00:42:36
they looked
00:42:55
when he promised he
00:42:58
woke up at 4 am and said that we
00:43:02
would go to the trampoline center at 9 am
00:43:04
or blog Katya rock climbing wall
00:43:09
nightmare at 4 am hd and I was still doing it and then
00:43:15
you checked the crayfish said the bale
00:43:18
sales channel is falling
00:43:20
that’s why I have something we are behind the puranas
00:43:25
longitudinal twine
00:43:27
here in the ghetto he broke his whole head as they
00:43:30
say they were followed by
00:43:32
a sword
00:43:37
[music]
00:43:40
where where are
00:43:43
we now on the pipe
00:43:48
I’m throwing it up like that,
00:43:52
let’s stay at home I’ll come up with an
00:43:56
interesting game let’s just
00:43:59
lie there and whoever moves 1 wins
00:44:09
bring it here put it here me here,
00:44:19
let’s run and look for the
00:44:23
mineral
00:44:27
what is dancing,
00:44:36
what is it
00:44:38
[applause]
00:44:42
this is what I’ll teach
00:44:47
the Tynianov through he showed on the balcony
00:44:52
the railing
00:44:55
and
00:44:57
why on the balcony
00:45:03
I danced for a long time let’s roll fiercely low
00:45:09
children everyone let’s go with mom and Gitis
00:45:12
mom where is mom in the hospital in
00:45:16
the hospital what happened
00:45:21
they brought it with you
00:45:26
dad come on apathy spring horizontal bar you
00:45:29
said for a liter not a pull up what kind of
00:45:32
bend your arm will be then the amount with what
00:45:35
pull up chair foam prize 50,000
00:45:38
rubles
00:45:39
[music]
00:45:40
how much plus 50 thousand before I stretched three
00:45:45
times max 2 now it’s your turn I
00:45:48
just want a lot then why 50,000
00:45:52
money
00:45:55
well here 10 well of course let’s go then
00:45:58
I just need to remember how to walk
00:46:01
let’s go faces and listen to the chorus when I’ll hide behind the
00:46:06
shaky one you’ll hide daddy daddy
00:46:10
usa
00:46:14
let’s ride horses and then
00:46:19
you started singing
00:46:22
[applause]
00:46:35
let’s a little later, just
00:46:38
let’s go to 10,
00:46:42
maybe at 10 I’ll just recover at 10,
00:46:50
kids, I’m tired, why are you tired,
00:46:56
rest,
00:47:01
how can you write in the snow,
00:47:09
we didn’t go outside from the balcony,
00:47:19
kids and kids, let’s let’s not go anywhere,
00:47:26
kids like you you don’t understand that now
00:47:29
all the attractions are run by
00:47:32
tired guys like me,
00:47:35
what’s happening to you, adults, you
00:47:39
wait so long for rest and after it you get tired,
00:47:42
maybe you shouldn’t rest at all so as not to
00:47:45
get tired, here are the
00:47:52
golden words, go write it down, you’ll grow up,
00:47:56
we’ll see how you handle it,
00:47:58
give it everything, maybe I don’t dressed for you anymore,
00:48:01
you can refuse me, but I’ll
00:48:05
sleep and
00:48:08
we’ll tell you what exactly it is to write in the snow,
00:48:11
learn
00:48:15
to feel it, I’m overslept, it’s
00:48:18
not time for rest, the children, but it’s been a long time since he’s
00:48:22
been in the wind tunnel
00:48:23
forward, the children are eating the naara pipe
00:48:27
6 there’s no bone in clothes, dad can breed him, let’s
00:48:32
take him just
00:48:34
a hat and a towel, I hope you do
00:48:40
n’t know this,
00:48:42
but the wind tunnel needs to be ready
00:48:47
friend
00:48:49
[applause]
00:48:58
[music] [
00:49:13
applause] [
00:49:21
applause] [applause]
00:49:22
[music]
00:49:25
[applause]
00:49:27
well
00:49:28
[applause] [
00:49:31
music]
00:49:36
arkadi I did the irreparable God you
00:49:40
again swore in French and
00:49:42
not only Arcadia spat at a person and
00:49:46
experience lo
00:49:50
[music] a
00:49:58
wife while cleaning can
00:50:02
accidentally take out the brain of the
00:50:09
night along with the trash neighbor Archimedes where
00:50:13
did you rent a beard from a youth school or sweep the shape of your hair in the fight
00:50:18
I understand your irony she apparently
00:50:21
due to the low level of your go
00:50:27
I have a certain q7
00:50:33
and she is not low and she is not a worthwhile
00:50:37
police officer to move can
00:50:39
you give your cub like that year a
00:50:42
book and pride
00:50:45
dear outcast
00:50:48
if you had read at least one book
00:50:50
of your life you would know what a book is
00:50:52
the best gift
00:50:54
the best gift and that
00:50:57
tablet
00:50:58
this book is also a good gift I’m stronger than the
00:51:01
five-hatka the five-hatka is laid down I’ve
00:51:05
ever seen
00:51:09
I’m a theorist I can visualize any
00:51:13
image it’s clear here are my theories of the world you
00:51:17
belong to the
00:51:19
classes rattus accent
00:51:23
so happy new year to you happy
00:51:26
year of the rat says we came in large numbers and
00:51:34
can’t put two words together in Russian,
00:51:40
hello girls, where is
00:51:44
the girl Milana, who behaved well all
00:51:48
year,
00:51:49
learned Spanish well
00:51:51
and won the Biology Olympiad
00:51:55
and it’s all thanks to our dad,
00:51:59
well, here you go Milano, a well-deserved
00:52:02
gift, a set for a doll
00:52:06
tea party,
00:52:12
where did you get this from? I found the
00:52:15
Eureka tablet translated from Latin,
00:52:19
and
00:52:22
to be honest, or is it now the date,
00:52:26
where are you getting the money for the dell tablet?
00:52:47
I'll give you back even your
00:52:49
damage, I'll ruin it, I understand,
00:52:52
in short, Lyokha, this crap needs to be returned, you've
00:52:56
removed your hands, then you want to leave the child without a
00:52:58
gift or something, first the tablet,
00:53:00
then the return,
00:53:01
kapets, now they're on a rampage,
00:53:16
they, too,
00:53:23
as it seems, have all started, or maybe
00:53:27
Marinochka is a blizzard
00:53:31
now, who is this blizzard
00:53:36
Arkady I need to return this tablet, you're not a
00:53:39
creature. I can’t give up my
00:53:43
paternal authority like that, there must be another
00:53:46
solution,
00:53:48
but in the end we can always
00:53:52
move
00:53:54
. maybe you should talk to him and why wo
00:53:57
n’t he hit my woman there is such a
00:54:00
rule the
00:54:01
best defense is an attack marina
00:54:06
simplifying the right of course the right
00:54:11
what is it then Marinochka will burn out right now it’s
00:54:15
decided our weapon is
00:54:18
diplomacy diplomacy or is it a knife
00:54:25
Marinochka remember there are great types of anger anger
00:54:28
and Goddess you to them and the forests drank his son
00:54:35
good punks for stealing they will jail you even
00:54:38
what you already stole again stole from you I didn’t
00:54:41
forget where I hid
00:54:58
Marinochka I need a drink for my dad and have a drink for my dad
00:55:01
Dad’s good yes
00:55:05
what is the taste of the sword this is cognac Marina
00:55:10
what is the taste not cognac Marinochka, why did he
00:55:13
listen to you
00:55:15
Cadi, I did something irreparable, God, you
00:55:19
swore in French again and
00:55:22
not only Arkady spat at the person and
00:55:26
experience,
00:55:27
what are you saying?
00:55:30
it’s just a shock, just a shock, I need
00:55:33
a little more cognac
00:55:36
Katyukha corolla, you’re just drinking me,
00:55:41
you’re blaming the stump, he
00:55:46
unleashed his crazy
00:55:48
success on me, but it splashed,
00:55:51
too, I read some spells there, I
00:55:54
still didn’t understand that it was the woman from me
00:55:55
wanted of course you never understood all the
00:55:58
women need to go
00:56:01
in short, she said first, return the set,
00:56:05
then give the tablet back, sit down, let me
00:56:07
figure it out myself, it’s unlikely to be
00:56:10
disinfected to begin with, otherwise my mother from hell
00:56:13
bit me with rabies, you’ll infect me,
00:56:16
I’ll infect
00:56:31
Marinochka, Varvara rubbed and returned
00:56:39
too much cognac
00:56:42
[ music]
00:56:52
Hercules and him such a gorgon found
00:56:56
weak points
00:56:58
music
00:57:01
not a bath remember daddy will always love you
00:57:07
this is a mill and for you my young
00:57:10
Dulcinea
00:57:18
and winter
00:57:20
winter
00:57:24
how tenderly you blush your cheeks and
00:57:28
schoolboy glasses simple and the queen from the
00:57:32
apartment that is opposite
00:57:35
it is oh
00:57:37
how beautiful you are Catherine, I look at you
00:57:41
and hear the music of Chopin in a nocturne,
00:57:45
and let
00:57:48
your beauty on a wonderful evening not
00:57:51
save our fragile world, but with anger and
00:57:55
we will blow out the candles and tomorrow
00:57:59
we will exchange it from mass saucers to a
00:58:03
tablet
00:58:06
[applause]
00:58:19
winter winter
00:58:21
[applause]
00:58:23
winter winter
00:58:25
funny
00:58:30
[ music]
00:58:33
you Marichka
00:58:35
I won us another day
00:58:38
tomorrow we're moving
00:58:42
winter winter
00:58:45
I throw the stump
00:58:49
you go the plates tomorrow we'll go to the
00:58:53
store in the morning to buy a new tablet winter
00:58:56
winter
00:58:58
nocturne nocturne
00:59:01
[applause]
00:59:09
[music] [applause
00:59:36
]
00:59:41
[music]
00:59:45
[applause]
00:59:46
me
00:59:49
[applause] ]
00:59:51
[music]
00:59:56
[applause]
00:59:57
[music]
01:00:03
[applause]
01:00:04
[music]
01:00:07
we wish you
01:00:09
more
01:00:11
success this time,
01:00:12
but
01:00:15
especially
01:00:18
Yucheno
01:00:20
[music]
01:00:26
he
01:00:29
[music]
01:00:31
so dear friends, new year is the most
01:00:35
beloved, the warmest, the kindest
01:00:39
holiday and we want to wish you stop
01:00:42
wait, forgive them, but this is what
01:00:45
I thought, every year with this scene we
01:00:47
wish something for the whole country, and has anyone checked that at least
01:00:50
one wish came true? Let’s just
01:00:52
check, let’s see what we wished for
01:00:55
10 years ago and see if it came true, and well,
01:00:57
or not in the
01:01:01
coming year for the whole country to start being
01:01:05
proud of your country in my opinion it came true
01:01:08
yes
01:01:11
look what it is like here when
01:01:14
Moscow Lipetsk I Bryansk region
01:01:16
go to bed in the Far East
01:01:18
Sakhalin Kamchatka are already working we are
01:01:21
the only country in the world that
01:01:23
never sleeps so here is the correction
01:01:26
Moscow never sleeps but also never
01:01:30
it works like
01:01:34
this, so it came to life and let’s go in and see
01:01:37
where it is, there must
01:01:40
be something bad in the country,
01:01:43
roads are bad,
01:01:46
salaries are bad and people are good,
01:01:53
you see nothing has changed and you
01:01:56
say stability there is no
01:01:59
hatch interesting,
01:02:01
but I have an unusual proposal,
01:02:07
what do you think maybe I don’t want to cut my hair,
01:02:13
I want to use my mind to include in my growth, already
01:02:18
respected Russians,
01:02:20
this goal in a year this year
01:02:30
[applause]
01:02:31
and you say I’m degrading
01:02:35
10 years ago the same
01:02:37
[applause]
01:02:38
yes
01:02:41
[applause]
01:02:51
New Year’s wish
01:02:54
will definitely come true,
01:02:58
but the question is the most important why
01:03:03
1
01:03:05
[music]
01:03:06
we
01:03:07
spent ours on you,
01:03:10
but I’m sorry to
01:03:11
say so, we try, we wish you
01:03:16
more
01:03:19
for
01:03:20
even you, I
01:03:22
wish you to shine more often
01:03:24
[music] both
01:03:25
then
01:03:28
and so that the new
01:03:31
and always every day Akella
01:03:35
we wish you
01:03:38
more often and everything is so disgraced to study
01:03:43
you mean this year before go, learn everything there
01:03:51
and
01:03:52
friends, be sure to make a wish, set them on fire,
01:03:55
knock them out with champagne,
01:03:58
believe in a miracle and all wishes will definitely
01:04:01
be a New Year, make
01:04:04
3 a
01:04:06
big bar
01:04:08
andI,
01:04:09
etc.
01:04:12
we are on matches and champagne in the
01:04:16
oven in b
01:04:18
[music]
01:04:19
every day
01:04:21
from the core
01:04:27
this is quality in quantity
01:04:32
each and
01:04:34
we wish
01:04:36
more often and in we have success this is
01:04:41
just the
01:04:48
best
01:04:53
we wish more
01:04:55
often and
01:04:59
and [applause] [
01:05:03
music]
01:05:07
the end
01:05:08
[applause]
01:05:19
[music]
01:05:22
[applause]
01:05:27
[music] [applause]
01:05:32
[music]
01:05:34
with
01:05:35
[music]
01:05:38
[applause]
01:05:41
[music] [applause
01:05:51
] [music
01:05:54
] [applause] [music]
01:06:05
[applause]
01:06:07
[music]
01:06:09
[applause]
01:06:11
[music]
01:06:14
[applause]
01:06:15
[ music]
01:06:17
[applause]

Description:

Когда праздничная ночь начинается вечером, а заканчивается через 10 дней. Когда в подарок покупаешь не то, что надо, а то, что осталось в магазине. Когда вместо свиньи приходит крыса, и это нормально. Тогда наступает новогодняя программа «Ёлка, дети, два стола»! 00:00 Начало 0:50 Лепим снежную бабу 8:08 Две семьи на Новый Год 17:35 Танец в животе 21:20 Песня «Минералка» 25:20 Новый год в СССР 33:12 Новый год в общежитии 37:33 Новогодние новости 41:29 Поздравление с Новым Годом 41:35 Отец первого января 49:58 Перепутали подарки 1:00:32 Финальная песня Подпишись на канал: https://www.youtube.com/c/ProPelmeny Билеты без наценки на pelmeny.net Читай все наши новости, смотри фото, участвуй в конкурсах и узнавай обо всех событиях в команде в наших сообществах ⇛ ВК: http://vk.com/pelmeny_tv ⇛ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser ⇛ Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser ⇛ Одноклассники: http://ok.ru/pelmeny ⇛ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Pelmeny ⇛ Мой Мир: https://my.mail.ru/community/ural_pelmeny/

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