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Download "Агронавты | Уральские пельмени 2021"

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уральские пельмени
азбука уральских пельменей
уральские пельмени последний выпуск
уральские пельмени 2021
стс
стс медиа
стс сериалы
стс онлайн
юмористическое шоу уральские пельмени
уральские пельмени лучшее
уральские пельмени премьера на стс
уральские пельмени новое
ксения корнева
дмитрий брекоткин
вячеслав мясников
дмитрий соколов
сергей рожков
уральские пельмени новое 2021
агронавты уральские пельмени
агронавты
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00:00:44
[music]
00:00:51
honda
00:00:53
[music]
00:01:09
[applause]
00:01:10
[music]
00:01:24
and friends and glad to welcome you to
00:01:27
our new gardening concert
00:01:29
called fences and
00:01:35
the question applaud who has a dacha
00:01:39
who has a personal plot
00:01:43
so little you are good who's estate
00:01:48
except of course it's strange for some reason plant
00:01:51
more than private plots, it's not even
00:01:53
logical already a private plot at night at a
00:01:55
height of
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friends and I have one more question for you,
00:01:59
tell me who as a student went to the
00:02:03
collective farm to grow potatoes, a fan
00:02:06
who has never been to potatoes in
00:02:09
students
00:02:10
[applause]
00:02:14
in general, I have a proposal for you for those
00:02:16
who have not gone to the potato harvest, firstly,
00:02:18
help us with the beginning of the concert and
00:02:19
secondly, go to the collective farm to harvest
00:02:21
potatoes, whoever wants to help raise your hands,
00:02:24
I will choose so so so let’s
00:02:27
someone- let's choose someone younger so let's you are a
00:02:30
girl let's you can
00:02:34
just now let's you are a young man
00:02:37
you are a young man you are a young girl
00:02:39
to your applause
00:02:41
let's greet you hello well
00:02:45
my friends first of all thank you
00:02:48
so much for dressing like you're on a collective farm
00:02:53
now you're already on our collective farm now the
00:02:56
foreman will come up, you’re not scared, he’s
00:02:58
only strict in appearance, but in his heart he’s a
00:02:59
calm and quiet monster
00:03:03
he’s coming
00:03:05
[music]
00:03:06
[applause] [music]
00:03:12
she’ll come back from the cow 200 liters of milk
00:03:14
can’t be squeezed out squeeze out friction labor everything will
00:03:17
grind
00:03:19
fallen weed
00:03:23
city
00:03:27
hotel and worms marmalade,
00:03:30
remember guys, this is not a sanatorium
00:03:33
or a dispensary or a crematorium, not
00:03:40
even Anatoly,
00:03:43
who came here for a bath, or there was a big
00:03:46
mistake in understanding, remember
00:03:50
guys, to collect
00:03:53
potatoes you have to think about how to
00:03:56
get potatoes, get
00:04:00
vegetables from your potatoes and it will turn out, I understand
00:04:05
what to call you anyway, he wo
00:04:09
n’t remember
00:04:12
it it’s funny you’re watching, I’m asking, I’m asking you to
00:04:19
eat the earth here, you’ll eat everyone because we
00:04:22
don’t have much food here, but
00:04:26
mosquitoes have a very smart mind with food
00:04:29
around the clock, and the canal we have here is the size of a
00:04:32
sparrow and the
00:04:36
sparrows we have here are pigeons, we have a sword-winged one the size of a cow, a cow the
00:04:39
size of a cow with the house
00:04:42
and to God we are like a mountain of agara us like a
00:04:46
planet planet like the universe I hope
00:04:48
all the bullets that I this is the end
00:04:53
they are always here mom why isn’t there I’m now your
00:04:58
mommy your daddy my brother is older
00:05:02
your grandfather your uncle came from Tyumen
00:05:05
that is the dog
00:05:14
Ostash so look here under the ground there is a
00:05:18
young potato, take it and lift it
00:05:22
to the ground, even more than the suite, then it
00:05:25
will be bad to dig it, I will
00:05:27
pound it well and the phrase dig pound it
00:05:30
will sparkle with other colors for you for
00:05:33
Zeya
00:05:38
[music]
00:05:42
[applause]
00:05:46
what year is it now, what kind of year is
00:05:51
2021 running You can’t be
00:05:54
kidding me,
00:05:56
who is a
00:05:59
first-year student from UPI and
00:06:01
Yekaterinburg, they
00:06:07
brought us from Sverdlovsk and told us to dig potatoes
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until the field runs out and no
00:06:16
one reached the end and
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you know what, there’s another field and
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then two pickets at once, merchants
00:06:36
not only don’t run like that how will
00:06:39
potatoes be in English, who knows to
00:06:43
stomp this is a reel package a z patents
00:06:50
about forming like potatoes, it’s clear it’s a pity
00:06:54
apotheke
00:06:56
in Armenian like potatoes for 3
00:07:02
that she repented, she doesn’t teach you anything given by the
00:07:08
students, he’s still yelling at young people,
00:07:13
like people have never been to a collective farm
00:07:14
in general, none of this Russia
00:07:17
should fill a
00:07:19
bunch of but no one was but they want to
00:07:23
at least catch up and let’s dedicate them and that’s
00:07:25
all and they look, what do you think they
00:07:28
will agree with the water tower in a pile of
00:07:30
manure spent
00:07:32
so only dedicates at the Institute of the Ministry of Internal Affairs
00:07:36
back in Mining for
00:07:39
some reason let's have a good
00:07:42
return will be light normal by the
00:07:44
glow scare then stand where you're
00:07:47
supposed to I can look now now you
00:07:50
girl
00:07:51
made such a special sign choose
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yes no this is not a collective farm yes no this is
00:07:58
not a call cold personally I go you
00:08:01
ipad and
00:08:04
you Grisha what is this that this is great, I’m
00:08:07
standing here like this, I’m burning this show and you’re all together,
00:08:10
Ural dumplings, it’s clear to have everything
00:08:12
clear, so everyone has a camera, then childbirth, the
00:08:15
engines need to go there,
00:08:18
no, this is not a collective farm, but what’s
00:08:21
good is urai
00:08:24
[music]
00:08:27
[applause]
00:08:29
[music]
00:08:32
[ applause]
00:08:33
[music]
00:08:36
[applause] [music] [
00:08:43
applause]
00:08:45
[music]
00:08:48
I’m saving money, we just don’t have a mortgage,
00:08:51
we have a two-room apartment,
00:08:54
of course, but you have a mortgage
00:08:58
[music]
00:09:08
cable car racing is recognized as the most
00:09:11
predictable sport,
00:09:18
but for some reason shabby red
00:09:22
glade abnormal some
00:09:24
ski resort and one but because the
00:09:27
borders are closed until it was possible to fly somehow
00:09:31
through Belarus for example Egypt
00:09:35
and in Egypt there are beautiful mountains I myself saw
00:09:45
hello hi
00:09:50
phone come on
00:09:53
then why do you need such phones, the
00:09:56
screen is broken and he’s an old phone in general, it’s
00:09:58
already
00:09:59
very much like that, don’t give me back my phone,
00:10:04
well, let’s just start, there’s nothing valuable there, then the
00:10:06
price is 3000 for this phone, there’s nothing there except my
00:10:08
contacts, and drive away the valuable
00:10:11
passwords from the online bank from all accounts,
00:10:16
what the hell are you doing,
00:10:18
pin code say now
00:10:21
it's
00:10:23
18 1868 write 18 1868
00:10:29
doesn't work and I mean it's 20 and 18 1869
00:10:34
to 18 1869 write the
00:10:41
bus password 18 to 67 doesn't work yes
00:10:45
stop now if you drive incorrectly then the
00:10:48
whole phone will be blocked
00:10:52
she h but remember we had it like that I two
00:10:55
times wrong things you told me all
00:10:57
these 3 times wrong while he drinks
00:11:00
the phone will be locked and won’t unlock at all
00:11:02
I want something so active this
00:11:06
bunch is just your ass I’m saving reinforced
00:11:10
concrete looking for a mortgage to pay for our apartment
00:11:16
tell me the password only it turned out I
00:11:20
just don’t remember it so I forgot in Denmark,
00:11:23
remember the password,
00:11:25
the meaning of what are you so on, what will your finger be cut off on? We
00:11:31
sound like a police,
00:11:33
the meaning of a finger, well, how can you cut off a finger,
00:11:37
put it on the phone, the phone
00:11:38
will unlock, it’s a cool
00:11:43
idea, it’s
00:11:46
already a good one, why because of this junk,
00:11:48
will you cut off your finger? It’s just dad,
00:11:51
understand, I’ve spent my whole life on fingers
00:11:52
tied, this programmer, without a finger, I
00:11:54
just can’t survive, yes,
00:11:56
indeed, he is a programmer, if you
00:11:58
deprive him of his fingers, you will deprive him of lucite bread,
00:12:01
yes, there is already something sacred, it’s true, it’s a
00:12:03
pity this please take
00:12:05
duty glada just an eye, an
00:12:08
eye,
00:12:09
why an eye, then
00:12:12
why retina of the eye, the phone can also be
00:12:15
unlocked,
00:12:19
you can just be silent, meaning be silent,
00:12:22
if it weren’t for me, you would already be sitting here without a
00:12:24
finger, a pirate, one-eyed, you’re like me,
00:12:29
but I’m the
00:12:34
closest dear person to them, I’m a loving,
00:12:36
caring wife, understandably,
00:12:39
a wife, and I, too, sometimes it seems like the
00:12:46
password talk about no Cosimo sometimes
00:12:49
listen, I already forgot the password, it’s just that there’s
00:12:51
a knife on this side, on this side you, I
00:12:53
no longer mean more dangerous,
00:12:56
some date instead of a password, I wrote down the
00:12:59
exact date, the date is our first
00:13:02
kiss, and then write down 1802 19 well, that
00:13:08
doesn’t fit
00:13:12
what how it doesn’t fit, I still
00:13:14
remember mine 18 0 2 went to the cinema wanted 14 to
00:13:18
go to Valentine’s Day but the salary
00:13:19
was 17 let’s go 18 the film was also like this with a
00:13:23
strange name with this and
00:13:26
fantastic creatures and where they live
00:13:29
they saw such a movie I
00:13:33
haven’t seen this one you and I were kissing, having
00:13:36
fun, and in fact it was all 2 hours. I
00:13:38
had to come to work on the 19th with such swollen
00:13:40
lips, and after a two-hour kiss, I have
00:13:42
n’t watched such a film and haven’t even
00:13:45
heard of it, so let’s talk about
00:13:47
his fantastic creature and where it
00:13:50
lives,
00:13:52
tell me where yours so here she is this you
00:13:57
creature
00:13:59
let's see who he is 18 0 2 19 wrote the password
00:14:04
talk-speak
00:14:07
guy
00:14:11
guys I'll tell you a little secret
00:14:14
I actually set a password on this
00:14:18
phone so only I can enter it
00:14:20
password tell
00:14:24
15 15 16 it
00:14:27
suits this phone steel,
00:14:30
I need a password, I just remembered the password from my
00:14:32
first phone in my life, I had a
00:14:34
small push-button phone, I’m talking about
00:14:37
this again, again, and the password, here’s the report for
00:14:40
you, a ring on your hand, but when your mother
00:14:43
think about it, it’s gold, yes, why is
00:14:46
it gold-plated aluminum? not from this
00:14:48
store on sale every week
00:14:50
he carries these rings when this
00:14:53
jewelry store is closed,
00:14:55
I’m saving money, we just have a mortgage, it’s not a
00:14:59
danishka, we have a two-room apartment, of
00:15:02
course, but you have a mortgage,
00:15:07
but this is a shoemaker ring, you’re sitting there, well,
00:15:11
I’m telling you, but look here
00:15:14
you see, this is real gold
00:15:18
gilding, you see the difference, what are you doing, this is
00:15:22
my grandfather’s chain, this is a
00:15:24
heirloom, family honor, it’s a matter of business if you don’t
00:15:27
save, I’m saving,
00:15:28
this is a dam, I’m not saying
00:15:31
gold, platinum, some
00:15:34
kind of ring
00:15:36
now
00:15:38
that can’t be removed,
00:15:41
probably the pressure of the mountain, I don’t know, I don’t
00:15:43
can be removed and you can, in principle, just sleep on your
00:15:46
own just like everyone else
00:15:49
on his phone, climb what a joy
00:15:51
four fingers are like this,
00:15:53
I’ll wear rings, you can’t
00:15:57
cut off a finger, I just did a manicure and made it
00:16:02
shorter, man, while taking the phone, keep your
00:16:07
mom here, take everything apart, keep it and
00:16:10
This is my wedding ring, I’m also taking the
00:16:12
platinum one, only the ruby, along with my
00:16:13
finger, just like that, at the very root,
00:16:15
so that there’s a divorce right away, and I’ve simply
00:16:16
never married anyone, just like
00:16:19
that, at the root, let’s take it away,
00:16:23
calm down and sit down and calm down, let’s
00:16:25
calm down, and you give me this
00:16:29
ski pass, give me a card from the
00:16:32
ski lift for you, I want to disappoint you, it
00:16:35
only costs one and a half thousand rubles,
00:16:37
get out, get out of the cabin, why sat down
00:16:42
carefully, I look there with him more carefully, he has an
00:16:45
expensive ski jacket, it
00:16:47
costs 30,000 rubles, his insurance is
00:16:51
good, his insurance will cover the mortgage
00:16:58
silence, what a beauty, just yes,
00:17:06
take the kidney, hear and
00:17:08
thank you
00:17:11
man, who are you
00:17:13
I am a Caucasian Robin Hood
00:17:25
I take from women from
00:17:28
poor Russian men I leave in the mountains
00:17:33
some type of quieter woman
00:17:37
[applause] [
00:17:43
music]
00:17:46
[applause]
00:17:47
[music]
00:18:03
he bauxites with light how the next epoxy lights up
00:18:09
epoxy because once glued it
00:18:12
doesn’t break anymore
00:18:14
[music]
00:18:23
there are 3 things that don’t change over the years
00:18:26
the acceleration of free fall the temperature of
00:18:29
melting water and a rural disco
00:18:34
[applause] it’s
00:18:37
mega boring in our village there is
00:18:41
no leisure except this disco
00:18:46
and even here the music is rotten, he
00:18:49
can go talk to the DJ so he can
00:18:52
put on different music, but he doesn’t
00:18:54
put it on, why is he offended by you, you’re telling
00:18:58
everyone that the music is rotten, okay, I have
00:19:02
n’t heard of everyone, I’ve heard of
00:19:06
you since when have you been a DJ with us, after
00:19:10
the last fight with the old DJ
00:19:16
normal nodes
00:19:18
he light on oxide to how to light up
00:19:22
another attempt at
00:19:24
unboxing but because once glued it
00:19:27
doesn’t break anymore
00:19:29
you feel go while the beatings are flowing on not me why are you waiting for the
00:19:33
white dance and I’m waiting for the blue dance
00:19:38
it’s reliably
00:19:41
clear but for the blue one you need to drink so I
00:19:45
drank it I'm waiting for it to
00:19:50
go
00:19:52
[music]
00:19:56
[applause]
00:19:59
grid what do you want funny how and look
00:20:07
still everyone is lying for sale women love with their ears in
00:20:10
general yes it’s
00:20:13
boring here but it’s okay soon the potatoes will
00:20:17
ripen students will be brought oh we have leisure time
00:20:21
will begin
00:20:23
once they say the students will be brought from the
00:20:25
Ryazan airborne school I
00:20:29
want it works out they are available nes
00:20:33
pa to 2 2nd option
00:20:41
[applause]
00:20:43
Svetka, why did we go on a motorbike, let’s go for a ride, I wo
00:20:47
n’t go, you don’t have a helmet, and
00:20:50
why did I go home with me last time
00:20:53
I rode this dragonfly until now on the
00:20:55
manga. towers I have hidden
00:20:59
allergies,
00:21:01
well, think about something
00:21:04
trying verses, read exactly the poems
00:21:07
[music]
00:21:10
memo I step over the shoulder and
00:21:17
like a romantic, why, well, just in the
00:21:21
original rotation of the scarf,
00:21:25
it was specially redone for you like
00:21:28
thank you scurvy than a scorched out the army
00:21:32
has to wait for him for 1000 hours, why am I already waiting for Lyokha from prison
00:21:36
from
00:21:38
what prison is he standing there,
00:21:41
well, I’ll just say now what you
00:21:43
said about him that he’s an earworm and
00:21:46
after some time I’ll have to wait for the night from prison,
00:21:50
I say that instead of a terrible fate
00:21:52
he said,
00:22:02
it’s cool, I haven’t been to the discos in the 80s for a long time
00:22:06
and my colleague is in the village, congratulations on your leisure time, kid,
00:22:14
come here,
00:22:19
Kostyan, why didn’t you recognize me, what am I going to
00:22:22
tell you more, you’re in this outfit for a couple more
00:22:25
minutes here, just eat, your own mother won’t
00:22:27
find out
00:22:29
now someone a cup in a box for the
00:22:32
amount of 1 cup what box a cup a
00:22:36
knee box a skull of
00:22:44
the night you tell what the court of the new dacha
00:22:49
chairman was put behind bars for embezzlement the
00:22:55
bars he stole from the prison where he was
00:22:59
put in prison and there are no bars there
00:23:03
because he stole it and so he
00:23:07
escaped in case of loss, mom is still Karimov, but
00:23:11
who is Svetka, what is there, and guess what she’s
00:23:15
become now, we’ll stir up a
00:23:20
relationship and you won’t recognize the separation
00:23:28
just ice cream means and finish the meaning, but
00:23:32
ice cream of what if
00:23:35
ice cream hake Tanya
00:23:39
and
00:23:40
ice cream of what and
00:23:44
without even knowing the ice cream Heka, nothing
00:23:48
Svetka, what, come with me for a ride,
00:23:52
helmet,
00:23:54
why do I need a helmet, I’m already driving a car, okay,
00:23:58
interesting, what kind of car is that, I don’t care, and I’ve never
00:24:02
seen such a car on it,
00:24:04
no plow, no bucket, and
00:24:07
why don’t you go for a ride with me, what’s the
00:24:10
time to go for a ride? spend, let's go straight to
00:24:12
me, you
00:24:13
'll have a beetle, I've lit it, but I've
00:24:16
got as many cars as she's got a dragonfly,
00:24:25
but she'll tell you how not to beat city guys like that, the
00:24:30
city slicker 300 guys are terrible
00:24:33
called come on
00:24:35
[applause]
00:24:37
[music] [
00:24:40
applause] [
00:24:42
music]
00:24:52
[applause]
00:24:54
[music]
00:25:09
[music]
00:25:19
alla words yes it’s me I basically wrote to you on
00:25:24
the list of products to finish up the coupe
00:25:27
store they are from small ones don’t need to
00:25:30
go to a big supermarket go to in a small
00:25:34
basmati rice no basmati basmati no
00:25:38
this is one word
00:25:42
no this is not cheese Toris
00:25:44
asphalt
00:25:46
you basmati basmati yours mother and basmati,
00:25:51
that's it, let's go to the store, just
00:25:53
write everything,
00:25:56
Lord, stupid, why does his
00:25:59
head turn off with the
00:26:08
product?
00:26:20
I don’t have anything to wear to go, but I
00:26:23
don’t have a jacket under my trousers, like what kind of
00:26:27
slacks, slacks, oversized ones don’t fit
00:26:30
them, they need a short jacket,
00:26:34
listen to me, my grocery susanin is
00:26:37
writing something to you, we’ll call you back
00:26:44
[music]
00:27:58
[music]
00:28:02
hello yes yes fierce wrote home to the coal
00:28:07
from the leg they answered
00:28:10
Doran to congratulate there is half a list
00:28:13
in front ahead of the
00:28:15
broccoli
00:28:19
yes no this is nothing complicated for a normal person
00:28:22
but when vegetables count ocz
00:28:27
it is difficult yes wait well let’s
00:28:32
call me back my cheese
00:28:34
Sherlock again they write something
00:29:45
[music]
00:29:50
Alla Ludoy then I’m taking
00:29:52
into account you send your Varyusha to the store, as
00:29:57
clear as success, and he’s looking for a hat and where the
00:30:02
hat was built on it, yes, you’re
00:30:05
sending it with a list,
00:30:09
no, so he’ll only buy you a list of candy,
00:30:12
cookies, we’ll
00:30:14
write a list, send a text message, his
00:30:16
phone number is yes, but mine is no, we’re still in the store,
00:30:20
let’s call wait, let me call
00:30:23
you back. Grocery Moses is on the line.
00:31:38
Alla Luda will call you back. It’s me, where are you going to the store? I went by
00:31:43
myself, why did I go around the phone myself, didn’t I
00:31:48
take a few big things, mine isn’t there
00:31:53
yet, mine is still in the store, and I don’t know what he’s doing,
00:31:55
maybe he’s standing near the bathtub with carps
00:31:58
looks now he will write what he is doing now he is already
00:32:02
writing in my opinion yes everything I have
00:32:05
Stirlitz pasta in touch until the
00:33:03
reason turn the camera around then turn it around the
00:33:08
product
00:33:11
so look it means
00:33:14
this is not neither this this is not nor
00:33:23
this but what do you think
00:33:28
this
00:33:30
is the past century to the order, wait, don’t
00:33:34
switch off yet, help while still
00:33:38
listening to Jerusalem artichoke, too, shampoo
00:33:41
the way, you’ll take your head and wash the idiot,
00:33:46
God, with the Mars rover on Mars, it’s easier
00:33:48
to control he has more brains, what’s
00:33:52
complicated on the list, but at home there’s
00:33:55
nothing left at all, Jerusalem artichoke syrup buy
00:33:56
powder automatic in capsules shampoo with
00:33:58
collagen ginger dried carrots
00:34:00
frozen dwarf muesli nut kinu ammonia
00:34:02
avocado onions turnips pepper mixture
00:34:04
mills and fabric softener We
00:34:11
live for 20 years We live for 20 years every day the store
00:34:15
goes the list does not change and the same day and the
00:34:19
same thing They say correctly that men's
00:34:21
heads are not built differently
00:34:25
people have
00:34:27
[applause]
00:34:29
[music]
00:34:51
you have some kind of corruption scheme,
00:34:53
you sell seats on the first desks
00:34:58
[music] they
00:35:07
put aside their stash to pay for
00:35:11
the night, there’s
00:35:14
no need to seriously talk to you,
00:35:17
damn
00:35:20
I found a stash between books, it’s yours,
00:35:27
but I put aside a little bit of
00:35:31
200 million this is a little bit
00:35:36
you somehow went on the topic we
00:35:40
don’t have so many books we only have two books between them
00:35:42
200 million lies I won’t see I don’t
00:35:46
know 10 years before I haven’t seen
00:35:52
saved up saved up
00:35:54
you are the director of the school you get
00:35:57
35,000 a month how you saved up
00:36:00
how how the drops have accumulated the
00:36:03
rain of a few snow and snow capture is
00:36:06
drowning the drops you have some kind of corruption scheme
00:36:10
you are selling places on the first desks,
00:36:14
well, you sold a couple, this means a
00:36:18
place for the post of millions, this is what a
00:36:21
thirst for knowledge must be like,
00:36:24
you steal from school lunches
00:36:28
a little bit of a spoon for dad a
00:36:32
spoon for mom, a spoon in their pocket, they
00:36:35
don’t finish eating so that we eat well and so that
00:36:38
you eat well,
00:36:40
this is not a profit here, I’m the same victim
00:36:43
as they, Lord, for 20 years, what a fool I was,
00:36:46
20 years before I was deceived, I didn’t even
00:36:48
notice the tour, then you’re not a fool, you’re Pusik
00:36:53
donuts
00:36:54
Dima all these are our household things
00:36:57
toaster
00:36:58
car microwave tell me honestly you
00:37:03
didn’t go to the field of miracles
00:37:07
and my cucumbers you just sief
00:37:10
no flew threw it out
00:37:15
sit with the children you’re stealing wait and
00:37:18
banners all over the city with your face it’s
00:37:22
not because you became director of the year
00:37:23
this is because this is an election campaign
00:37:26
Dima you are a deputy everyone
00:37:29
needs a deputy than they won’t have such
00:37:32
points I completely understand I now understand
00:37:35
why on the street grandmothers and children spit at you
00:37:38
sanatorium we went to the ocean shore
00:37:41
remember I was still surprised why everyone there
00:37:43
speaks English so well
00:37:45
tell me honestly it was not in Chuvashia
00:37:50
no yes I should have guessed where in
00:37:53
Chuvashia the ocean
00:37:55
chose Swiss
00:37:58
cookies
00:38:00
Olya hello hello hello things are good okay
00:38:03
do normally it was
00:38:04
taken into account so dirty can I sweep the valley let's
00:38:09
wait and the
00:38:11
neighbors come to us to clean and
00:38:14
cook not because we good people
00:38:18
they are our servants
00:38:20
Natasha
00:38:21
you are my servant and
00:38:26
Olga Valentin na I can go and
00:38:30
Natasha’s children are already mine I did my servant’s nails
00:38:36
that I am you
00:38:39
my love love of course and
00:38:43
we don’t have a dacha and it wasn’t flooded on all
00:38:45
sides this is an island our
00:38:49
helicopter in which we go there is not a
00:38:52
garden partnership helicopter, this is our
00:38:53
dream helicopter, but it’s on the island for a promotion
00:38:56
by locals
00:38:58
eyes and tell me honestly,
00:39:00
Crimea is
00:39:10
ours
00:39:12
because you paid for it and
00:39:15
didn’t set you on fire and it’s ours but it’s calm down it’s
00:39:18
common in common of course yes, in general, our Cyprus,
00:39:26
I even have checks
00:39:32
Dima, tell me honestly, the Ministry of Emergency Situations
00:39:35
and in a strong wind, only us sends text messages,
00:39:40
of course, only to us, of course you are Dima,
00:39:42
tell me honestly, where is the rest of
00:39:45
the money, that’s where, yes, everywhere, everywhere, well,
00:39:50
let there be money
00:39:54
in the closets, that’s the money everything
00:39:58
here is full, too, everything is in money, like this,
00:40:02
girlfriend, class, there is money in every pillow
00:40:07
all around, and even in the socket, in the socket,
00:40:12
sockets, yes, that’s how it’s
00:40:15
just a
00:40:17
euro, of course, it’s a euro socket,
00:40:22
how much dress do you have here, we have
00:40:28
money everywhere no in the piggy bank there
00:40:32
are no
00:40:35
chips
00:40:37
you will be imprisoned no you will not be
00:40:39
imprisoned it is impossible
00:40:44
for the police
00:40:47
to leave the bag
00:40:55
after raised
00:40:59
she doesn’t leave at all what am I coming to do will
00:41:02
you go
00:41:06
walk and dust and oh thank you give
00:41:14
everything you earned by dishonest
00:41:16
labor it must be given back clearly yes yes and
00:41:20
your car, my car,
00:41:23
wait, but you worked for 20 years, 35 thousand, you
00:41:27
got saved up, it turns out everything except the
00:41:29
car, come on and press the noise that the noise, well, you
00:41:34
took extra classes, yes, that’s right, you
00:41:36
also saved up and you’ll get fur coats besides the car,
00:41:38
then you’ll also have
00:41:40
cosmetics from hell cosmetics so so so what
00:41:43
that cosmetics are a good gesture about that, there
00:41:46
is nothing to
00:41:48
do, maybe it helped someone, it
00:41:51
never helped anyone, the Russian anthem you know,
00:41:54
of course, well, I
00:41:56
don’t know yours,
00:41:58
Dima, you’re lying to me again,
00:42:01
tell me honestly, why did you do all this,
00:42:06
yes, because I love you,
00:42:11
that’s all I did it for the sake of love, of course
00:42:14
Dima, for which I now understand that money is
00:42:19
trivial compared to love, and you do
00:42:23
n’t have to give away a small change,
00:42:26
no, now if you
00:42:29
really love me, you will do
00:42:31
something good with the stolen money for
00:42:32
all people,
00:42:35
oh, I’ll do everything,
00:42:40
and I Mikhailovich how much it will cost a
00:42:43
message from the Ministry of Emergency Situations for everyone to come
00:42:49
like this dear friends thanks to love
00:42:52
mailings from the Ministry of Emergency Situations are now coming to everyone
00:43:01
[applause]
00:43:08
[applause]
00:43:10
[music]
00:43:11
[applause]
00:43:13
[music]
00:43:16
and
00:43:17
Danya Ksyusha
00:43:20
where have you been for 15 years I was looking for a parking
00:43:25
space for our car
00:43:36
when the installation arrives, the inspection of the
00:43:39
entire construction team is very
00:43:42
tight,
00:43:49
well, Ksenia, everything will be new in our new apartment, what do you
00:43:55
think, where to put this flower,
00:43:57
I don’t care,
00:43:59
Ksenia, you’re in a bad mood, of course
00:44:03
I’m pregnant, you’re pregnant, how
00:44:06
happy I am, now I’ll park ours the car
00:44:09
will be back ok
00:44:13
15 years have passed
00:44:19
[music]
00:44:22
Danya Ksyusha where have you been 15 years I was looking for a
00:44:28
parking space for our car
00:44:38
you know how hard it is to park
00:44:40
near our 56 storey buildings
00:44:50
that by the age of 15 I walked from Zvenigorod
00:44:54
the whole mine you know these
00:44:56
cities near Moscow Zvenigorod was growing faster
00:44:58
than I was walking there, there was construction everywhere,
00:45:01
I finally got out of this Zvenigorod, I
00:45:05
again got into a traffic jam
00:45:07
of men, it was a traffic jam of people, they
00:45:11
left their cars there in Zvenigorod,
00:45:15
why didn’t you take the metro, that’s not
00:45:19
why I took out a car on credit to go
00:45:22
for meters you didn’t have money before
00:45:28
Ksyusha, I always loved you and you, what did you
00:45:33
call him Kutaya,
00:45:38
why daddy in honor of the cork in
00:45:40
Kutuzovsky
00:45:42
there are only beautiful names of the sex with feces
00:45:46
through the blood and in Volokolamsk it
00:45:49
was possible to name you a halo in honor, but
00:45:51
it is in Savelovsky at the end in the end, maybe
00:45:54
it was to name our son kadi
00:45:57
in honor of my grandfather
00:46:00
while I
00:46:02
missed Kutuya so much, I always remembered you
00:46:07
when I gave up my back and saw your child's
00:46:09
chair in which you never turned gray
00:46:12
from the already gathering regiment of
00:46:15
reading and why is our son so strange
00:46:19
to talk about this scary stories when
00:46:22
he was three years old I lost him in
00:46:23
a hypermarket and he ended up in a carp aquarium
00:46:29
five years later I found him and we
00:46:31
met in the fish department and who raised him
00:46:39
but since then we haven’t parted
00:46:42
kutuya
00:46:48
what a slippery guy
00:46:56
what are you hanging what it was just
00:46:59
between the houses the sun flashed
00:47:05
we saw the sun
00:47:08
I saw the sun for the first time and we are already seeing the
00:47:12
sun for the second time remember the first time you
00:47:15
saw the sun when the lawn realtor is
00:47:17
ready I
00:47:20
want to upset you it wasn’t all that was welding the canopy
00:47:24
yes it seems to me or our house has become
00:47:28
a little lower doesn’t it seem to you 15 years
00:47:32
while you weren’t here 22 times
00:47:34
they laid new tiles without removing the old ones
00:47:38
and
00:47:39
what did you eat all this time we ordered
00:47:43
delivery and ate
00:47:44
you had so much food we had a lot of
00:47:48
delivery man
00:47:52
these are his shoes in size 41 in
00:47:55
the hallway, I completely forgot, meet this
00:47:57
Andrey
00:47:58
[music]
00:48:03
you exchanged me for some Andrey, we
00:48:07
just Andrey turned out to be more agile, I
00:48:09
just couldn’t refuse him, he
00:48:12
rolled up the stones and now we are together,
00:48:14
thanks to him, I visited
00:48:17
our housing department for the first time,
00:48:20
thanks to him, I saw the world he showed
00:48:24
me Las Vegas, Rome and even Babylon, well, these are
00:48:28
all shopping centers in the Moscow region, you
00:48:31
’ll break the gateway,
00:48:33
I know what I’ll do, I’m studying now, and I’ll
00:48:37
break the ramp for entering our
00:48:39
entrance and your Andrey will never
00:48:41
be able to return to us with crazy in
00:48:45
our house there are 83 disabled people living in our house there has
00:48:49
never been a ramp there
00:48:53
was just no ramp which means Andrei
00:48:56
will never be able to leave us and
00:48:58
will forever remain with us you know that
00:49:01
the guys in our yard there was no place for
00:49:05
my car but there is a place in my heart for
00:49:09
you have always been for everyone and for you
00:49:11
communication and for you que tu ya and even for
00:49:15
you Andrey
00:49:17
let's hug we are a strange Moscow
00:49:21
family
00:49:27
disgusting type
00:49:33
alla what is there dad
00:49:37
my car is bothering someone
00:49:40
I need to repark it
00:49:44
[music]
00:49:51
I'm drunk for about five years I’ll manage
00:49:56
[applause]
00:50:01
[music]
00:50:02
[applause]
00:50:07
[music]
00:50:11
[applause] [
00:50:14
music]
00:50:16
[applause]
00:50:21
that is, broforce what can you get up to walk
00:50:26
where it’s
00:50:28
just so warm
00:50:34
[music]
00:50:41
[music]
00:50:43
in the general’s garden there was a scarecrow Colonel
00:50:50
Mukhamedyarov
00:50:53
well- keep it quiet and let's make the sounds of the night until the
00:50:57
januarius inhaled the vixen's
00:51:00
ear, stop sniffing the ants and took
00:51:05
the wave in general, I don't know at all, it will turn out to be on the anthill, lay down
00:51:10
stupid, well, lie down, then the anthill wo
00:51:14
n't be torn apart by them,
00:51:16
you throw provasi almost and you need to frolov, and
00:51:19
when will we catch this one who
00:51:21
lives the general's strawberry we'll shoot him,
00:51:26
you're crazy frolov, you can't kill people
00:51:30
because of strawberries, they're
00:51:32
not people at all
00:51:34
who are
00:51:36
zombies and
00:51:38
[music]
00:51:40
then we don't survive the mukhamedyarov if
00:51:43
zombies are you safe,
00:51:45
why because I don't eat your brains, you're melting ensign,
00:51:50
what's the conclusion,
00:51:53
someday before that cases were
00:51:55
in an ambush there
00:51:57
was a case
00:51:59
tell me but I
00:52:01
won’t tell them anything it’s a military
00:52:03
secret well the military from the military what
00:52:06
secrets well tell you the reason for the sandwich
00:52:14
for now yes
00:52:17
in general it was during an exercise one
00:52:20
night
00:52:22
I ate in the canteen against and Greek
00:52:26
then for half a day he sat in ambush, everyone was
00:52:29
instructively giving a sandwich, they taught the
00:52:34
vixen’s ear in a little bit and it began, did you
00:52:37
remember that
00:52:41
he can sneeze and they often carry tourism
00:52:44
somewhere exactly and how they will carry them away I
00:52:46
want, maybe you know that an
00:52:49
ant can lift 50 times more than
00:52:51
its own weight,
00:52:53
that's it, and tomorrow you'll be like
00:52:57
my ants, I'm just
00:53:00
carrying two tons of cement from the warehouse,
00:53:03
that is, about Farsi, what can you get up to walk
00:53:07
where it's numb, just
00:53:10
what kind of numbness it's for,
00:53:17
he got ready to walk quietly here, if
00:53:21
only there weren't zombies, if only not a zombie,
00:53:25
just me, all this is
00:53:32
open in battle,
00:53:37
Yura Borschik, this is also the basics, I see what
00:53:41
now I’m thinking, maybe we’re not there, no one will wake him up,
00:53:47
our general will shut up the probe, you could have faith
00:53:51
like this, not a zombie, sleepwalker,
00:53:55
quietly, without any sudden movements, the
00:53:57
deception will be comrade the general is
00:54:02
comrade general
00:54:04
[music]
00:54:05
why don’t you see
00:54:08
Kirov flies before the general broke
00:54:13
. general m and
00:54:16
that is, the general is
00:54:18
excellent, well, what to do now with this
00:54:22
also right, or maybe knock on it, he
00:54:25
will earn
00:54:28
a TV in the barracks rank of the
00:54:30
head, which is also stupid compared to the
00:54:33
TV for five years, general 55,
00:54:36
able to knock, I will give the force from the doll
00:54:39
to the general
00:54:42
and don’t do strangers with ours
00:54:50
to charge their leaders, come on, whose not
00:54:54
back, suddenly you are a shaman
00:54:56
like back into yourself or something,
00:55:00
just whose not you can or not, you
00:55:04
object, let’s do it
00:55:06
in a normal way,
00:55:08
I can’t normally, especially
00:55:10
like a game whip, and to sneeze, you have to melt the
00:55:13
abyss wear out a hair win
00:55:16
Frolov
00:55:18
acts
00:55:22
fly meer af you resist Frolov let's
00:55:24
quickly slippery sugar on the body
00:55:28
eat I'll choose an ant pulled out a
00:55:34
way to live but
00:55:44
[applause]
00:55:53
comrade
00:55:55
I'm a shaman you're a [ __ ] a fly vixen and I can
00:55:59
barely do anything about it I want to do to people to
00:56:03
go treat them crazy imagine an
00:56:05
attack and duo with me, followers of
00:56:07
the saints, covers
00:56:10
for only this, more ants on the enemy,
00:56:14
shut up, both of you, I’m talking about how to
00:56:18
explain to the general that it’s him who eats strawberries in a dream,
00:56:23
or here, really, really
00:56:27
think carefully about how to say this so as not to
00:56:30
look like a [ __ ], you
00:56:36
understand already I got it, everyone, let’s
00:56:38
disguise ourselves back so give me
00:56:41
five minutes of silence, I need to think,
00:56:43
clearly,
00:56:46
there are match heels on, but why collect
00:56:50
ants, shut up, both of you, comrade ensign, comrade ensign,
00:57:02
no wonder I wanted to
00:57:06
tell you what what did you want to say,
00:57:09
let’s tell the general what ants
00:57:13
are stealing strawberries that comrade ensign is
00:57:17
valuable to the ancients where is comrade ensign comrade ensign
00:57:21
comrade ensign
00:57:24
comrade ensign
00:57:28
I say let's say the generals that the
00:57:31
ants are stealing strawberries are
00:57:33
still asleep that I'm not
00:57:37
talking to you while you're toiling around here with
00:57:41
[ __ ] I came up with everything I want you came
00:57:43
up with now I'll explain I
00:57:52
don't understand and where are the berries, comrade
00:57:56
ensign. not a ditch, you’re not sleeping or what, I’ll
00:58:00
explain and you overslept along the way so we
00:58:03
stopped them so what were eleven
00:58:09
berries became eight where else are 8
00:58:15
now it’s clear why we have
00:58:17
2 more dining rooms covered
00:58:19
55 general we all figured out
00:58:23
strawberries and get away from the Tatars
00:58:29
ants
00:58:31
steal ants so exactly
00:58:34
what the level of yoshkin cat federation these are
00:58:37
these ants I collected all of them, but they
00:58:41
may turn out to lift 50 times
00:58:44
their weight from Mukhamedyarov they almost
00:58:46
carried away about
00:58:47
thirty of them. wow, and
00:58:50
so this is a whole platoon of Murom evil, you
00:58:55
can collect it will be Murata, and if you
00:58:59
collect more and more, Murom will be
00:59:03
right for what I thought I
00:59:05
will be Murok general,
00:59:08
in the end I step, why did
00:59:18
you climb with your ants, what will we
00:59:22
believe, believed that’s exactly
00:59:24
nothing Frolov and crap bucket with a lid
00:59:26
for berries for which berries Mura the army
00:59:30
will collect
00:59:32
the eyes hatched by flies and rush and the whole mess the
00:59:35
caterpillar drags the caterpillar from the Mura
00:59:38
tank and in front of the general don’t blurt out this
00:59:44
[applause] [music] [
00:59:47
applause] [ music]
00:59:59
[applause] [music]
01:00:02
[applause ]
01:00:08
the easiest way is to plant the
01:00:11
most profitable agricultural crops on all six acres, the
01:00:13
most profitable
01:00:16
agricultural crops, but we can’t ripen them in
01:00:19
Columbia without seeing them ripen
01:00:29
[music]
01:00:31
three homeless people decided to get lost among the
01:00:34
summer residents, but they were identified by their
01:00:37
clothes being too good to get,
01:00:41
I congratulate you, they
01:00:45
answered after all home request here
01:00:49
justice on earth is enough that
01:00:52
the Americans of Alaska are returning
01:00:54
this request until they answered the lip and
01:00:57
answered, why so in 63, I wrote to
01:01:03
Khrushchev and asked to allocate a summer cottage
01:01:07
and everything was given then the background refused me, but in
01:01:12
fact, from the needs and
01:01:16
then look where there is no signature, well, judging by the
01:01:20
signature on the cool ones, he said about the world
01:01:22
visually so a refusal and everyone then
01:01:26
thought so, but in fact he finished drawing the corn
01:01:29
and not what you thought, turquoise
01:01:34
Khrushchev is a bad draftsman and what does
01:01:40
corn mean I approve and that means for 60
01:01:43
years we have a dacha plot in the garden
01:01:46
partnership
01:01:47
wow, so this is generally cool, ancestors,
01:01:51
now you’ll all go to the dacha on weekends
01:01:53
and the cat is weak, it’s absolutely
01:01:56
free, damn it, the
01:01:57
guys are absolutely covered by the plant
01:02:00
even without you,
01:02:02
mug with us, I’m afraid
01:02:05
what to do there - I’ll be forging a bunch of shelves, hilling,
01:02:09
watering, well, everything is the same as
01:02:12
what I was going to do here only in the
01:02:14
figurative sense of the word, a
01:02:17
plot, a plot, that’s how much everything is needed,
01:02:19
so let’s make a list right away for the house, a house, a utility
01:02:22
block, a
01:02:23
bathhouse, 40, a shed, a place for a
01:02:27
barbecue, even I was deprived of swans swans 7
01:02:31
5 6 acres like us and the jeans that I bought
01:02:34
5 years ago in the sense of young Priapus
01:02:37
try to make everything fit in
01:02:40
this silence what are you doing so
01:02:43
old fashioned you need to be like Steve Jobs Denmark
01:02:48
I am against I would still live
01:02:54
the life of what Steve Jobs is worth it anyway,
01:02:57
what the hell was this American businessman,
01:03:00
he and his friends started in a garage and then
01:03:03
became a billionaire, I
01:03:05
realized
01:03:07
you and the guys aren’t allowed in the garage,
01:03:11
live now without a billion bot
01:03:14
okay okay, seriously, he’s right, he says
01:03:16
stumble and make money from it, well,
01:03:18
what’s the easiest way? plant on
01:03:21
all six acres the most profitable
01:03:24
agricultural crops, the most profitable
01:03:27
agricultural crops, but in our country it doesn’t cause it in
01:03:30
Colombia, without seeing it ripens,
01:03:33
sell it is necessary not to give the goods, it is necessary to give
01:03:36
services and Olga, for example, what listen here,
01:03:40
yeah 8 I suggest this is the reverse
01:03:42
Turkish scheme of what it means to
01:03:44
lure beautiful people young,
01:03:47
pretty girls like to engage in prostitution,
01:03:49
but in fact we take away their passports and
01:03:52
force their dandelions to pull 300
01:03:54
rubles an hour, a
01:03:58
good thing working, press it in until it’s
01:04:01
clear that I wrote down the guns, or maybe
01:04:04
we’re also building a solarium, what kind of solarium is there of
01:04:08
this sauce, we’ll all burn here, no
01:04:11
solarium should be licked
01:04:13
when you get sarin, there’s
01:04:15
this kind of music in the room, you know the lounge, the
01:04:18
floor is dark and the Thais with their tender
01:04:21
fingers are tearing off the skin that the hall was burned and
01:04:25
those who will be beaters will pull
01:04:28
300
01:04:29
somewhere tyc will you take it when Buryatia is full of
01:04:31
places, the paths of Kazakhstan are full of types
01:04:35
I’m a family, something is complicated everything this is,
01:04:39
let's buy villas and rent them out
01:04:44
somewhere with a shovel, are you kidding me, who
01:04:47
in this village will rub the needs of their body,
01:04:51
they will rub their badge, I met a man who, with a pitchfork at his
01:04:55
throat, refused the report,
01:05:01
excuse me, what time are we living now, whoever
01:05:04
has the information has it in the world,
01:05:06
how we will build a global multifunctional information center on our 6 acres,
01:05:13
information would be trading for him with
01:05:15
only one type of information,
01:05:17
are there traffic cops behind the store or not,
01:05:19
according to the guys, but we have the main
01:05:22
question where we will get the start-up capital
01:05:25
and
01:05:29
when it comes to money
01:05:32
comes to the forefront Dad,
01:05:34
Dad, let’s sit on you and well, it’s going to get warm, and
01:05:37
tomorrow,
01:05:39
why are you now, what is this, Dad, Grandfather, well, why am I
01:05:43
really tomorrow pension is the only
01:05:45
day and that with our family
01:05:49
tomorrow is my pension
01:05:52
ndnd what’s the emergency reserve and
01:05:56
this German woman is taking away I was waiting for for beer
01:06:00
for a barrel of a stall it’s
01:06:03
clear so okay okay I’ll get the money
01:06:06
and in short it’s gone and q2 fight
01:06:10
garage and like Steve Jobs
01:06:15
when you come back
01:06:17
fresh when with the men the house and drink vodka
01:06:20
it could be in the morning with tian de startup
01:06:22
for the sake of the family in a week wait for me dear
01:06:26
well -come out of the apartments
01:06:30
[applause]
01:06:34
[music]
01:06:39
[applause] [
01:06:40
music]
01:06:53
coupe
01:06:57
panipolak
01:06:58
owner teenagers robbed
01:07:01
[music]
01:07:02
Qatar [
01:07:05
music]
01:07:17
well, dear friends, I raised the end of the
01:07:20
agricultural concert in general, but
01:07:22
agricultural work is just beginning because it’s
01:07:24
spring and in general it so happened that
01:07:26
the borders are closed very much the Maldives
01:07:28
Sri Lanka Turkey is not all far away and what
01:07:30
remains for us to do is the Maldives
01:07:33
and Sri Lanka in general Turkey on its 6
01:07:36
acres rolling up the sleeves the door picking up a hoe in
01:07:38
general so that it all turns out the
01:07:40
same how is this going to happen to us, friends,
01:07:43
and now there will be such a thing, you will
01:07:46
have to help us, we will now
01:07:47
sing a song and there, well, you will understand, the
01:07:50
meaning will be clear and you will even
01:07:52
say everything in chorus, of course, you will help us, let’s sing an
01:07:55
agricultural song with you from the base
01:07:58
[ applause]
01:08:02
in the spring we all buy seeds and spores, and
01:08:06
on the windowsill, as tomatoes sprout,
01:08:10
no matter what anyone says, they say that he is a lover of the city, he is outside the city,
01:08:13
but in the heart of the network,
01:08:17
he is a resident, he is outside, a
01:08:18
villager, bushes
01:08:28
[music]
01:08:33
and most importantly, just
01:08:35
[applause]
01:08:36
with or without a harvest
01:08:43
[music]
01:08:47
I’ll come in the spring as soon as I take a shovel I wo
01:08:52
n’t sing to plow and not for a salary
01:08:55
transport you to it for the fact that I’ll
01:09:02
wait leisurely and
01:09:04
repeat
01:09:08
[music]
01:09:11
deserved
01:09:12
[music]
01:09:15
cool but we need an even more powerful
01:09:20
new stable so that it’ll just shake
01:09:22
after all, once again, and once again to the left, are
01:09:30
n’t you a shame, let’s not put friction to the sword, pour it,
01:09:33
not for myself, I ask for everything for the team
01:09:38
that I don’t know how I stole, I don’t know
01:09:40
how it works personally, my thing bought
01:09:47
bridges,
01:09:51
I’ll wait and
01:09:55
[music]
01:10:05
I deserve
01:10:08
[applause]
01:10:13
[music]
01:10:16
from improvised
01:10:28
[music]
01:10:53
you and the
01:10:54
topics
01:10:56
[music]
01:10:58
secret [
01:10:59
music]
01:11:06
I’m just
01:11:08
[applause]
01:11:09
[music]
01:11:15
on foot the concert was attended by
01:11:17
boys and girls who dug up
01:11:20
this scene with their talented jokes,
01:11:22
musicians or faith file that is just
01:11:25
about will exchange their musical
01:11:28
instruments for gardening show ballet
01:11:30
Russian style of
01:11:32
food and
01:11:35
of course our group composer and
01:11:38
musician singer-songwriter
01:11:41
Sergei Boyko
01:11:46
and [music]
01:11:48
all together we show Ural dumplings
01:11:53
exchange points
01:11:56
she [
01:11:58
applause] [
01:12:00
music]
01:12:23
[music]
01:12:29
[music ]

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