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00:00:04
MOSFILM
00:00:11
`VREMYA` ARTISTIC ASSOCIATION
00:00:15
Written by V. TOKAREVA, G. DANELIA
00:00:20
Directed by A. SERY
00:00:24
Director of Photography G. KUPRIYANOV
00:00:27
Production Designer B. NEMECHEK
00:00:30
Music by G. GLADKOV Sound by V. KOSTELTSEV
00:01:01
Starring:
00:01:04
YEVGENY LEONOV
00:01:09
GEORGY VITSIN
00:01:13
SAVELY KRAMAROV
00:01:17
RADNER MURATOV
00:01:20
ERAST GARIN
00:01:24
NATALYA FATEYEVA
00:01:29
P. SHPRINGFELD, O. SOKOLOVA A.PAPANOV, O.VIDOV, N.OLYALIN
00:01:41
GENTLEMEN OF FORTUNE
00:01:44
AN UNLYRICAL COMEDY
00:02:16
Archeological Expedition No 13. 2 kilometers.
00:02:21
- I`ll bet there`re snakes around. - What snakes?
00:02:24
Cobras!
00:02:25
- Make the camel lie down. - Down! Lie down, man!
00:02:30
Come on, Vassia, Vassia, Vassia...
00:02:34
Docent! Hey, Docent!
00:02:37
- He won`t lie down! - I`ll clobber you!
00:02:40
Hear that? We`ll clobber you! Lie down, beast, I tell you!
00:03:04
- Where is it? - Over there, in that yellow tent.
00:03:09
We move as soon as it`s dark.
00:03:18
USSR Ministry of Internal Affairs
00:03:21
How much does the helmet weigh?
00:03:24
Five kilograms, 243 grams, and it`s pure gold.
00:03:28
Yes... A pretty heavy hat.
00:03:31
Comrade Colonel, it`s more than a hat...
00:03:34
It`s a rarity, it`s archeologically and historically unique.
00:03:37
Everything bears out our theory that this is the helmet
00:03:43
which the Emperor Alexander the Great of Macedonia lost
00:03:46
when he set out to subdue India.
00:03:49
Ask Slavin to come in. You should guard your precious treasures.
00:03:53
- We had someone to guard it. - No doubt...
00:03:56
For a thief it`s not an archeological treasure, butjust a piece of gold.
00:04:01
He can take it apart, melt it down, he might even sell it abroad.
00:04:06
Well...
00:04:08
The culprits` identities have been established, they`re all old offenders.
00:04:15
Yermakov...
00:04:18
Sheremetyev...
00:04:20
Biely, their chief.
00:04:21
- May I? - Please.
00:04:23
He`s a very dangerous criminal.
00:04:26
What a repulsive-looking individual!
00:04:33
Mother! I`m going to be late.
00:04:36
Coming, son.
00:04:42
Here you are. Eat, darling.
00:04:47
Thanks.
00:04:54
- Good morning. - How are you?
00:04:56
How`s my son doing? Is he behaving? You`d better be strict with him.
00:04:59
- Good morning. - Good morning.
00:05:10
Commuter`s pass.
00:05:29
I have my ticket.
00:06:06
Kindergarten No. 83
00:06:25
- Hello, Yelena Nikolayevna. - Good morning. They`re not eating.
00:06:32
- Good morning. - Good morning!
00:06:35
May I have your attention, comrades, forjust a minute!
00:06:38
Today, you`re not going to eat your breakfast here.
00:06:45
Instead we`re going on a trip to Mars. I appoint Igoryok commander.
00:06:50
- Igoryok, today you`re a commander. - Yes, sir!
00:06:53
Now take your cosmic spoons and interplanetary forks,
00:06:56
and finish everything on your plates. We won`t be back on earth till lunch.
00:07:02
You`re a genius!
00:07:05
- Yevgeny, can we see you for a minute? - Sorry, I`m busy now.
00:07:10
But this man here insists.
00:07:15
Ah! I`ve caught you at last.
00:07:17
- To Docent! - Yes.
00:07:20
It`s something better than picking pockets.
00:07:26
I`ll get myself a car with a player, fancy threads, and off to Yalta!
00:07:57
Get ready! We`ll nab all three!
00:08:01
- Well, what? - Have you flogged the helmet?
00:08:04
- I just went fishing. - Where? Why fishing?
00:08:08
Near the landing dock... In an ice hole.
00:08:12
- Crosseyes, can you swim? - Me? Swim?
00:08:16
Now, in winter? Our deal didn`t include swimming.
00:08:20
- They`ve got us staked out. - What do you mean?
00:08:23
I feel it...
00:08:27
I got radar antennas. Time for us to split up.
00:08:31
- Good afternoon! - That`s it. End of the line!
00:08:34
This is where we get off, boys!
00:08:37
Who`s afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
00:08:42
Where`re you running, stupid wolf, old wolf, big bad wolf?
00:08:47
Who`s afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
00:08:52
Where`re you running, stupid wolf, old wolf, big bad wolf?
00:08:57
Very good! A big hand, comrades!
00:09:06
Now comes the cruel, nasty wolf.
00:09:13
I`ll huff and I`ll puff,
00:09:15
and I`ll blow your house down! Grrr...
00:09:20
Well, that wasn`t bad at all. Thank you very much.
00:09:22
Only, you know, Igoryok, you should be more scary.
00:09:25
I`ll huff and I`ll puff,
00:09:29
and I`ll blow your house down! Grrr...
00:09:35
Yevgeny Ivanovich, it`s that man again, the weird one.
00:09:41
Good afternoon, Comrade Troshkin. Sit down.
00:09:45
- We`ve captured the thieves. - Congratulations.
00:09:48
Too early to congratulate. The helmet is missing. I`ve searched everywhere.
00:09:53
They won`t tell where it is.
00:09:56
But we have an idea...
00:09:59
- I was sent to speak to you. - I`m listening.
00:10:02
- We propose to put a wig on you. - Well...
00:10:06
Then we`re going to tattoo you... and throw you in prison.
00:10:11
What do you mean? What for?
00:10:13
It`s a great idea! Your own mother won`t tell which of you is which.
00:10:18
- I don`t see what you mean. - Oh, Lord above, bless me!
00:10:22
The trial has been held, two of them got 4 years. It`s nothing, a holiday.
00:10:27
The one who I took you for was given eight years.
00:10:33
The other two are doing their time in Central Asia.
00:10:36
- This one, near Moscow. Understand? - No.
00:10:39
Oh, Lord above, bless me!
00:10:41
We`ll put you in jail along with the other two,
00:10:44
and they will take you for this one.
00:10:48
That way you`ll be able to learn from them where the helmet is.
00:10:51
- Are you willing now? - No.
00:10:54
- Why not? - It`s madness. What`ll I say at home?
00:10:59
Just say you have to attend a seminar for kindergarten teachers.
00:11:02
No, I can`t do it. I have my work, the children.
00:11:05
I must buy a Christmas tree.
00:11:07
And besides... it isn`t ethical.
00:11:10
Ethical, unethical!
00:11:12
We`re the only ones who`re being so scrupulous: bail, rehabilitation.
00:11:18
We should do like the Turks did in the olden times:
00:11:21
they put the thug in a vat filled with shit,
00:11:26
and drove him through town.
00:11:29
Over him stood an executioner with a saber in his hand,
00:11:31
and every five minutes he went ``swish`` with his saber over the vat!
00:11:37
If the thief doesn`t dive, no more head.
00:11:40
So all day long he dived in the shit!
00:11:44
That was in Turkey. It`s warm there.
00:11:52
- To run away? - Crash out, split, fade.
00:11:54
Very good.
00:11:56
- To talk gibberish? - Slip your trolley.
00:11:59
- What`s good? - Akey-okey.
00:12:01
- What`s a barroom? - A grog mill.
00:12:04
- An easy burglary? - A hop stop.
00:12:07
- An untrustworthy man? - A wrong guy.
00:12:11
Pillar of the community?
00:12:14
I forgot... Wait...
00:12:20
Mossback. Yes, a mossback.
00:12:30
Wig, alright?
00:12:32
- May I try it? - Go on.
00:12:34
Pull harder. It`s a special glue. He can even wash his head.
00:12:37
That`s good.
00:12:39
- Good resemblance? - Yes, but he`s kind, the other`s evil.
00:12:43
- Do you like it here? - Cozy. Which is my bed?
00:12:47
Your sack.
00:12:48
- You`ve got to take the best spot. - And where is that?
00:12:51
Yevgeny Ivanovich, don`t you remember? By the window, over there.
00:12:56
But someone`s things are there.
00:12:59
Throw them on the floor.
00:13:01
When the owner comes back, you just tell him to split, fade, get lost.
00:13:04
- Remember? - Yes, I remember.
00:13:08
That`s it. Soon they`ll be returning from work.
00:13:18
And don`t forget, try to stress that you`ve partly lost your memory.
00:13:23
If they start to beat you up, knock on the door.
00:13:27
All right. I mean, akey-okey.
00:14:06
Hey you! Why`d you throw away my things?
00:14:11
You...
00:14:13
Listen, you...
00:14:16
You know...
00:14:18
What should I know?
00:14:23
Come on, be a good boy, will you?
00:14:27
Hey, it`s Docent! How you doing?
00:14:31
Welcome home!
00:14:33
- And you get lost! - Right! Fade out!
00:14:36
He`d better get lost, or I`ll clobber him, whap him, gouge his blinkers out!
00:14:41
For the rest of your life you`ll have to work to pay for the bandages!
00:14:44
The knucklehead! The fungus face!
00:14:47
Buzz off, boy, or I`ll bash your face in!
00:14:51
Why didn`t you say so in the first place?
00:15:00
Greetings, pen pals!
00:15:16
Well, I`ll be a three-eyed owl!
00:15:26
- How you doing? - Good old Raspy!
00:15:31
Hi, Docent!
00:15:33
Baby!
00:15:35
Listen, I`ve got a better spot for your bunk, next to the slop-bucket!
00:15:41
- Who is he? - Nicky of St. Pete`s.
00:15:46
Listen, for less than that, a lot less, much less,
00:15:51
I`ve strangled and torn guys apart!
00:15:58
Don`t get sore, pal.
00:16:08
- I`ll gouge your blinkers out! - Help! The guy wants to blind me!
00:16:20
It`s nothing serious.
00:16:43
Crosseyes!
00:16:45
- Quiet! - Huh? What?
00:16:47
- Where`d you ditch the helmet? - Me?
00:16:51
Yes, you.
00:16:52
- You had the helmet, pal! - Oh yeah? Then What did I do with it?
00:16:57
- How should I know? - You`re going to be sorry!
00:16:59
- What for? - I`ll hop you one!
00:17:03
Hey, cool it, Docent!
00:17:06
How would he know where the helmet is?
00:17:08
You dragged the helmet around.
00:17:11
You always kept the helmet in a bag. When they busted us, it was not there.
00:17:17
You lost it yourself, and now you try to pin it on me.
00:17:20
When anything goes wrong, just blame it on old Crosseyes.
00:17:23
- Don`t you remember anything? - Not a thing.
00:17:27
I dropped off that baggage rack on the train.
00:17:29
Got bumped on the noggin. Here I remember something, nothing there.
00:17:34
- Swear it! - Let me never get out if I lie!
00:17:37
In between getting the helmet and my trial, everything is like cut off.
00:17:42
Bullshit! One second you remember, the next you don`t.
00:17:45
It does happen.
00:17:47
I got sloshed once. When I woke up at the police, I remembered nothing.
00:17:51
- I guess... - Hold it!
00:17:54
- Remember how we got to Moscow? - No.
00:17:57
- How we holed up in some chickencoop? - All right, and then?
00:18:01
- We got smashed. - Shut up!
00:18:04
Then a gink came up to see you, you had a big chinfest in the yard.
00:18:08
- What gink? - You said he worked in a cloakroom...
00:18:12
In a hall... In a concert hall.
00:18:15
- I don`t remember. What then? - We went to a fence.
00:18:20
- Where? - On the boulevard.
00:18:22
- What boulevard? What was it called? - the main drag with all the cars.
00:18:27
I couldn`t tell you the address. I`d recognize the place though.
00:18:30
Could you guys please knock it off.
00:18:34
This is getting to be a real drag: remember, don`t remember. Let`s sleep.
00:18:44
Flight 407
00:18:47
from Moscow has just landed.
00:18:55
- Where are you going? - I`m going to prison.
00:18:57
No! I`m a kindergarten principal,
00:19:00
I can`t run around the Soviet Union with two wrong numbers of yours.
00:19:04
I was summoned by the colonel, and he said:
00:19:07
since those two are not Muscovites and don`t know the streets` names,
00:19:12
they can point them out on the spot.
00:19:15
So organize a false break for them, and they will take us to that helmet.
00:19:20
That is, naturally, if you manage to convince Comrade Troshkin to do it.
00:19:26
No, you won`t manage!
00:19:29
I take a plane, dropping all the things I have to do,
00:19:32
I take a taxi, and he doesn`t want to do it!
00:19:35
- I don`t want to. - Why?
00:19:37
I`ve got a hundred children each year, and all their mamas, dads, grandmas.
00:19:42
All our community have known me for years!
00:19:45
And you want me to show myself in Moscow
00:19:48
looking like this, with thieves as companions?
00:19:51
Speaking about mamas...
00:19:53
Early this morning, I dropped by your home
00:19:56
and I told your mother the seminar would last 2 weeks longer.
00:20:08
At ten o`clock at the cement plant. The driver is our man.
00:20:12
- You got clothes? And some cash? - It`s all ready.
00:20:16
Out in a haystack. I know the place.
00:20:19
We`ll be caught. It`s a plant and you`re a sucker.
00:20:22
To hell with you! I`m going to take your cut.
00:20:35
Yes...
00:20:39
- Not exactly comfortable. - It`s not a long ride. It`ll do.
00:20:43
Repeat your orders.
00:20:46
Park by the cement mixing yards.
00:20:48
When the three of them sneak into my tank truck,
00:20:51
I drive, without loading cement into it, out to Alibakan.
00:20:55
At the crossroads, park and go in the restaurant till the three men come out.
00:20:59
Do it!
00:21:06
Let`s go!
00:21:56
- Where are you going? - to the cement depot.
00:21:59
- Where`s the cement depot? - It`s up there.
00:22:02
- Where? - Over there!
00:22:04
That`s not the cement depot, the engine parts are there.
00:22:07
Are you crazy? You`re out of your mind. I saw them load cement there.
00:22:13
Have a look!
00:22:19
Move out!
00:22:33
Follow me!
00:23:10
We did it!
00:23:19
- Why`s he stopping? - Maybe a police check?
00:23:26
Go ahead!
00:23:37
That`s it. It`s full up. Close it.
00:23:50
You said that we`d be riding an empty tank!
00:23:57
- What slime! - Same as in Turkey.
00:24:38
Come on!
00:24:50
Move it!
00:25:02
Hey! Wait!
00:25:05
Nikolai Grigorievich, don`t you think that it is pointless?
00:25:09
So they made it out through the pipe? 273A
00:25:12
Then tell me where they are!
00:25:19
- There`s no hay here. - You`re telling me!
00:25:27
You sure it isn`t your memory again playing tricks?
00:25:30
- Maybe it`s not in a haystack? - I`m going to clobber you!
00:25:35
Say, this is high grade cement. You can`t wash the stuff off.
00:25:42
- Listen, why did you break out? - Everybody was, so I did, too.
00:25:56
He`ll whack him, or lightning strike me dead!
00:25:58
You better tell him, Raspy, that it wasn`t part of the deal.
00:26:01
You tell him himself.
00:26:03
Get out of here! Did you hear what I said? Out! Go on!
00:26:08
You`re a bad man, Crosseyes.
00:26:12
You`re just mean.
00:26:24
He`s bound to sell out. You hear, Docent?
00:26:28
He`ll squeal right away.
00:26:31
Okay, we`d better keep him with us.
00:26:34
- Stop him! - Hey, you!
00:26:38
Come on back. How long were you in for?
00:26:41
I got a year.
00:26:43
Now you`re going to get three more years.
00:26:46
For breaking out. Article 188.
00:26:51
Docent! Look at that! What do we do?
00:26:56
- We`ll go dressed like this. - Like this?
00:26:58
- They`ll pick us up. - We go dressed like this!
00:27:02
Let people think we`re on a track team.
00:27:05
Come on!
00:27:13
Clear the track, grandpa!
00:27:20
See you at the Olympic games! Salaam aleichem!
00:27:46
Yes, what can I do for you?
00:27:49
Just a second.
00:27:57
- Slavin sends greetings. - But who`s Slavin?
00:28:00
- Vladimir Slavin. - I don`t know him. What d`you want?
00:28:05
- They made a reservation for us. - How many of you?
00:28:09
Three... That is, four...
00:28:13
There`s one too many.
00:28:15
We`ll manage somehow.
00:28:20
May I see your papers?
00:28:24
The coach will bring them tonight.
00:28:30
- What club are you running for, guys? - Reserves of Labour.
00:28:38
- We have the keys! - It`s a habit.
00:28:49
What about groceries?
00:28:52
Yes, I`m starved.
00:28:56
It`s chowtime at the camp. Macaroni...
00:28:59
You just stay put. I`ll be right back.
00:29:05
Would you be so kind as to lend me a pair of pants
00:29:09
for a few minutes? Our clothes are on the way, but I`ve got to go out...
00:29:14
You want a game of chess?
00:29:17
When I come back.
00:29:19
Police station.
00:29:20
- Lieutenant Slavin? - No one by That name here.
00:29:23
- What do you mean? - I mean What I said.
00:29:25
- I`m Docent. - Congratulations.
00:29:29
- Didn`t they tell you I would call? - What about?
00:29:39
- Hey, boy, what town is this? - Novokassimsk.
00:29:43
- And Alibakan? - Oh, it`s a long way. 30 kilometers.
00:30:01
- Sit down. - Thank you, I`d rather stand.
00:30:04
I`m from Moscow. I`m your colleague. I`m principal of Kindergarten 83.
00:30:10
- There`re four of us. - All of you principals?
00:30:15
- In a way... - Well, tell me your problem.
00:30:17
You see, a load of cement was poured in a tank truck we were riding in.
00:30:22
Our clothes became useless.
00:30:25
I`m very embarrassed... You`re my only hope...
00:30:28
Could I borrow 19 rubles and 40 kopecks for a couple of days?
00:30:32
- Will that be enough for four? - Yes, I made some calculations.
00:30:42
Come along.
00:30:50
This`ll be the game room.
00:30:52
- And right here... - This is nice.
00:30:56
This is going to be our gym.
00:30:59
- Plan sounds good. - I`m glad you like it.
00:31:02
You and your principals will move the radiators out of this room.
00:31:06
You can take them out that way. There`s another door there.
00:31:10
Stack them under the stairs. And I`ll pay you... twenty rubles.
00:31:14
All right?
00:31:20
All right. Only if you don`t mind, we would rather work at night.
00:31:25
It`d be better if you could put the twenty rubles...
00:31:31
let`s say, in this table here, and maybe padlock this door.
00:31:35
When we get the room cleaned up,
00:31:38
we`ll simply come in here and take our pay out.
00:31:41
But mind you, my dear colleague, it will be a solid padlock.
00:31:45
Check!
00:31:49
- Move your horse, you idiot! - Shut up!
00:31:54
Mate!
00:31:56
Sorry.
00:31:58
Thank you very much.
00:32:02
Are you through?
00:32:04
No, I`m not through.
00:32:15
- I bet my razor for my coat and pants. - Just the coat.
00:32:34
Here we go.
00:32:43
Well...
00:32:51
And l move here.
00:32:56
- Move your horse! - Lay off!
00:32:58
Move your horse!
00:33:01
We move there.
00:33:04
- That is your move? - Sure that`s our move.
00:33:09
Checkmate!
00:33:11
Give me back my jacket.
00:33:18
What`s the matter with you? Whom are you hitting?
00:33:23
My ears! My ears!
00:33:28
Comrades! Are you out of your minds?
00:33:34
Break it up!
00:33:42
- Take it off and give it back! - Get stuffed!
00:33:52
That`ll teach you!
00:33:57
Take it off!
00:34:04
Disgraceful! Shame on you, comrade!
00:34:09
On your feet!
00:34:13
If you don`t want to go back to the can,
00:34:17
if you want to find the helmet, you`ve got to quit all your squabbles!
00:34:23
No gambling! No drinking! And no stealing... without me!
00:34:28
No jargon and no nicknames! We address each other by our names!
00:34:34
- Your real name? - Gavrila Petrovich.
00:34:37
Fedya.
00:34:39
- Ali Baba. - Didn`t you hear me? No nicknames!
00:34:42
It`s my last name! Name - Vassily Alibabayevich, Vassia.
00:34:47
Just like the camel`s.
00:34:49
You call me Yevgeny... I mean, Alexander Sanych. Got that?
00:34:54
- Answer me! Everyone got it? - We got you.
00:34:57
Sit down!
00:35:03
Tonight, after dark, we`re going to do a blast.
00:35:06
- Is he coming too? - Everybody`s coming.
00:35:09
He`ll sing if things get hot.
00:35:12
First blast we do, he`ll crack.
00:35:15
Come here... Come over here, Fedya.
00:35:18
Sit down, take this pen, and write down:
00:35:22
Wrong number - dash - untrustworthy man.
00:35:26
To sing - dash - to betray.
00:35:30
Things get hot - dash - work has become dangerous.
00:35:34
A blast - dash a dangerous job.
00:35:38
You`ve got that?
00:35:39
And now tell Vassia what you said before,
00:35:42
only this time the way honest citizens speak. Go on.
00:35:51
This untrustworthy man
00:35:54
will betray us if our work has become dangerous.
00:35:59
Seventy one...
00:36:26
- Forty-six. - What? Thirty-two!
00:36:31
What is this? Filthy little louse!
00:36:34
Alexander Sanych! Gavrila Petrovich called me names using the lingo.
00:36:38
No more arguments!
00:36:43
- Quiet. - What is it?
00:36:45
That Vassily Alibabayevich... That untrustworthy man...
00:36:50
dropped his load on my toes, bastard!
00:37:01
It`s here!
00:37:14
The Evils of Drink
00:37:17
- Perhaps they`ve killed him? - Nikolai Georgievich!
00:37:20
At 8:30 he left the hotel and led his track team to the stadium.
00:37:25
At 9:00 he bought four sweat shirts at the department store.
00:37:29
At 9:20 our man approached him.
00:37:32
At the moment they`re moving at a reduced speed in our direction.
00:37:39
Yevgeny Ivanovich! I was afraid that you were dead.
00:37:57
I feel so sleepy!
00:38:00
- Mind if I cop a nod, Gavrila? - You don`t!
00:38:06
Here we stand out like three sore thumbs in the bleachers,
00:38:11
and you want to wallow in the sun like a sleepy dog.
00:38:15
What are you spitting for, Vassia?
00:38:17
To think I robbed children. Worse than a jackal or hyena!
00:38:22
I stole the kindergarten money!
00:38:25
You`re getting civilized as hell!
00:38:28
On your old job at a gas station you did worse than that,
00:38:32
spiking gasoline with camel piss.
00:38:34
That was just gas... This was children.
00:38:40
- Where are you off to? - to prison.
00:38:44
- No, don`t do that! - Let him go.
00:38:47
He already had one year, escape is three, five for the kindergarten.
00:38:52
Go ahead, Vassia.
00:38:58
Now read!
00:39:03
Sign for it. There`s cash for four, for housing and meals...
00:39:09
And new clothing.
00:39:11
- This is for you. - Thank you.
00:39:14
But why for four? Does that Vassily have to tag along?
00:39:18
Yes, he has. If we arrest him now,
00:39:21
it would give the other two cause for suspicion.
00:39:25
Your address in Moscow will be 8 Horse Lane.
00:39:28
- The apartment? - You`ll pick the one you want.
00:39:30
The house is going to be torn down. The tenants moved out.
00:39:34
- But then it isn`t heated! - Right, there`s no heat...
00:39:37
- And no electricity. - you see?
00:39:41
Wouldn`t it be better if they stay at my country house?
00:39:44
I have a house not far from Moscow.
00:39:46
Very kind of you. Only in neutral territory I will feel a lot safer.
00:39:52
- Do they give you 3 years for escape? - They do.
00:39:55
I demand that this law should not be applied to my companions.
00:39:59
Don`t worry about it.
00:40:07
Abakan - Moscow
00:40:29
One, two, three, four.
00:40:35
One, two, three, four.
00:40:40
He`s really laying it on! I guess he really bumped his noggin hard.
00:40:44
Hey, Docent, those are some cop clodhoppers you bought!
00:40:49
I got `em from a ragman. Not in a department store.
00:41:02
There`s a taxi. Go after it.
00:41:07
- Hey, buddy, are you free? - Sure I`m free.
00:41:15
Is it here? There`re trees here, a boulevard, a gray house.
00:41:22
Now look, fella!
00:41:24
You hard of hearing or what? We said it was this kind of a tree.
00:41:29
A fir tree?
00:41:31
What do you mean, fir tree? Didn`t we say it was this way?
00:41:35
You`ve got to explain it better!
00:41:38
It`s already costing us eight rubles.
00:41:41
- Was there a pond? - No pond. Just puddles.
00:41:45
Was there a monument?
00:41:49
- There was a monument! - Whose monument was it?
00:41:52
How should I know? Some gink...
00:41:55
- With a beard? - No.
00:41:58
- Did he have sideburns? - I don`t remember that.
00:42:02
- He wore a jacket! - was he seated?
00:42:05
- What? - was he sitting down?
00:42:08
- Who? - the gink you were talking about.
00:42:12
What a yokel! How could he do that?
00:42:15
How could the poor guy sit down? An iron monument like that?
00:42:21
Where to now?
00:42:23
Home I guess.
00:42:30
Why don`t you buy a map? Knucklehead!
00:42:32
Here are some concert tickets. Follow up your lead on the cloakroom.
00:42:35
I found it!
00:42:40
There it is, the fellow with the jacket!
00:42:43
And over there is the tree!
00:43:06
Hello there, don`t you recognize me, girl?
00:43:12
No.
00:43:22
Now listen, Docent! I told you I was going to turn legit.
00:43:27
- Didn`t I? - you did.
00:43:30
-Did I tell you you`d better not come? - you did.
00:43:35
- Did I tell you I`d throw you out? - did you?
00:43:39
I sure did. So don`t take it too hard.
00:44:04
- What have you got there? - I need it.
00:44:11
Wipe your feet, please.
00:44:15
Close the door.
00:44:21
Say, this is a groove.
00:44:26
You like it?
00:44:30
Dinner is ready, fellas. Sit down to chow, please.
00:44:33
Good work, Vassily.
00:44:35
Good old spuds, eh?
00:44:39
You can bake them in the ashes, too.
00:44:42
When we went camping at the orphanage, we put them in the ashes from a fire.
00:44:48
I had a funny experience at the front... My unit camped near Kursk...
00:44:54
You at the front? Hang up, will you?
00:44:57
You`ve been thrown down the stairs real hard. Your memory`s all gone.
00:45:02
I guess you`re right.
00:45:17
Oh fir tree green... Oh fir tree green...
00:45:21
Thy leaves are green forever.
00:45:26
They all are green in summer`s prime,
00:45:32
They all are green in winter time.
00:45:37
Alexander Sanych, let me have a little money, will you?
00:45:40
I`ll buy a kerosene burner. Our coal burner is no good. Might set a fire.
00:45:44
Yeah, you can have some cash.
00:45:51
It`s gone! I had it in my pocket.
00:45:55
Have you lost it?
00:45:58
- Might have dropped it. - Nah, the taxi driver pinched it.
00:46:02
There was something about him I didn`t like from the start.
00:46:04
Yeah, we all look like wrong numbers.
00:46:08
- What do we do now? - Got to pull a little job, Docent.
00:46:12
Shut up! Listen, Docent, I`m going to look around the market with Raspy.
00:46:19
No! All of us will go!
00:46:25
Hey, you over there, you can`t go that way. Go this way.
00:46:29
You might get hit by the snow. We`re shoveling snow off the roof.
00:46:45
Don`t go that way, granny! Go this way!
00:46:48
Otherwise you get hit by the snow!
00:46:51
Come on.
00:47:18
- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.
00:47:21
- Could you tell me please... - Splendid weather, isn`t it?
00:47:24
- Yes, it`s nice out. - Go ahead. Goodbye.
00:47:27
- Goodbye. - Go on.
00:47:31
The best weapon of the thief is courtesy.
00:47:40
You take the third floor, and you the fifth. Do it!
00:48:47
Why are you sighing like that?
00:48:50
- A thieving jackal, that`s what I am. - And What are you stealing?
00:48:57
Today I`m the lookout...
00:49:03
They`ve done the job! I must go.
00:49:07
Hey you, stop! Come back here!
00:49:32
Follow me, children, and hurry!
00:49:37
- Good afternoon, Yevgeny Ivanovich! - Good afternoon, children.
00:49:41
- Halt! - Excuse me.
00:49:44
Yevgeny Ivanovich! Where are you going?
00:50:16
Just like a ballet! The white swan!
00:50:21
- You`ve seen ballets? - Yes.
00:50:25
Back in 1954 my wife and I took a vacation
00:50:29
and visited Moscow.
00:50:31
She dragged me to the ballet day and night.
00:50:35
- Where`s your wife now? - got No wife.
00:50:40
She`s passed on?
00:50:44
I am dead.
00:50:49
- We have to lie low, Docent. - Why?
00:50:52
The janitor got us cased. If we show up in the street, we`ll be snagged.
00:50:56
I want ladies` shoes... Three pairs.
00:51:00
Size eleven, thirteen and fourteen.
00:51:14
Nice legs.
00:51:17
What time is it, miss?
00:51:21
- Quarter past six. - Miss!
00:51:24
What`s your name, miss?
00:51:28
- Tanya. - My name`s Fedya.
00:51:32
Stupid!
00:51:58
That`s him! That`s the man who came to see you.
00:52:01
Do you want opera glasses?
00:52:14
They`ll grab us here.
00:52:17
You better hole up in the john.
00:52:24
Come in.
00:52:26
Nadyusha, I have to see someone.
00:52:30
Here`s your number.
00:52:36
Do you recognize me?
00:52:42
What do you say?
00:52:46
Tomorrow. Square in front of the Bolshoi Theatre. Five o`clock.
00:53:02
Excuse me.
00:53:05
Men
00:53:08
- Haven`t you made a mistake, ladies? - Come on in, man!
00:53:12
- What are you staring at? - Excuse me.
00:53:17
Where`s he? We`re going to get snagged here. We should`ve gone to the jane.
00:53:23
Here comes another one.
00:53:29
Let`s split!
00:54:07
The cash!
00:54:09
It`s under a floorboard, where I hid it!
00:54:14
I see. That`s him who stole the cash!
00:54:19
You wrong number!
00:54:20
- Who are you calling a wrong number? - I`ll tear you apart!
00:54:24
Stop it! Break it up!
00:54:30
Watch out!
00:54:38
It has been known all along, There`s no fun without a song.
00:54:41
And even if it`s raining today,
00:54:44
We should remember, I and you, There`s no reason to feel blue,
00:54:48
Tomorrow`ll be better than yesterday.
00:54:51
Wake up and sing! Wake up and sing!
00:54:54
And just keep smiling, For once in your life, darling!
00:54:58
Wait for me right here.
00:55:00
However capricious may be luck, it chooses those who don`t duck
00:55:03
An opportunity to laugh at one`s own wrong.
00:55:06
Sing going to bed, sing in your sleep, sing in the morn!
00:55:13
Professor Maltsev, please.
00:55:15
...All that is gone Cannot return.
00:55:19
It`s one-way street, no going back, and if you`re now off the track,
00:55:22
Tomorrow you`ll get back in the saddle.
00:55:25
Wake up and sing, wake up and sing, and just keep smiling,
00:55:29
For once in your life, keep smiling!
00:55:33
- Fedya! It`s you? - Mishka!
00:55:37
- How are you, fella? - How are you doing, Fedya?
00:55:40
I can hardly believe it`s really you!
00:55:42
- It`s not really him. - Hey, get outta here!
00:55:45
Well, what are you doing?
00:55:47
I work as an engineer. And you?
00:55:50
Way to go! Me?
00:55:52
He`s a thief!
00:55:56
- That`s not funny, granny. - No, it`s not funny.
00:55:59
- Come on. - where are We going?
00:56:01
We`ll live in the country. I`ve just made connections with the fence.
00:56:09
- Who is he? - Fedya Yermakov.
00:56:11
We were in the orphanage together.
00:56:32
- Stop pouting. I had to. - Listen here, Docent.
00:56:37
I know you`re the headman around here.
00:56:40
But why say it in front of Mishka?
00:56:43
You`ve seen him. He`s not like us.
00:56:48
He was so happy to see me...
00:56:51
And you called me a thief.
00:56:54
- What`ll he think about me now? - You`re in for a surprise.
00:56:58
- He will envy you! - Envy Me?
00:57:00
Sure! Who is he? Just a regular engineer.
00:57:06
How does he live anyway? Goes to work mornings, comes home at night...
00:57:09
To his wife and sniveling brats.
00:57:13
So now and then he goes to a show, in the summer to Yalta on vacation.
00:57:17
Intolerable boredom! And who are you?
00:57:20
A gentleman of fortune, outlaw, robber, you really live.
00:57:26
You steal, drink, crash into jail. It`s much more romantic!
00:57:30
So cheer up!
00:57:33
Of course, the guy envies you!
00:57:43
One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.
00:57:50
Lift your knees up! No cheating!
00:58:00
Fall in right here.
00:58:04
Quick march! That`s it.
00:58:08
One, two, clap your hands. One, two, stamp your feet.
00:58:12
Feet higher, don`t bend your knees!
00:58:21
Squat! Up!
00:58:24
Good! And now we proceed with special ablutions!
00:58:29
- This is good! - Docent, I have a cold.
00:58:33
- I`m going to clobber you! - That`s all you can say, huh?
00:58:48
Snowflakes white and fluffy make a magic sight,
00:58:53
Snowdrifts have grown all over outside.
00:59:01
Thank you very much. And one more thing, Yelena Nikolaevna,
00:59:04
don`t tell anyone for the time being that you met me in Moscow.
00:59:08
Why was I made up this way?
00:59:10
It was a sort of contest for the best bogeyman.
00:59:16
I`m sorry...
00:59:18
Yes?
00:59:20
Dinner is ready!
00:59:52
I said hands off the stuff in here. You`re going to wreck the piano.
00:59:57
He also drew a naked woman on the mirror with some lipstick.
01:00:04
- Why? - are you going to chow or not?
01:00:10
Ah! Good old spuds!
01:00:14
- Your hands! - my hands?
01:00:15
Let`s see your hands!
01:00:19
Go and wash!
01:00:21
A man can`t even eat!
01:00:25
Wash, wash, wash...
01:00:57
San Sanych! Let me have some cash, will you?
01:01:02
I`ve got to buy a butane burner.
01:01:04
The gas range doesn`t work.
01:01:33
Listen to my orders!
01:01:35
You don`t fiddle with anything! You don`t light any fires!
01:01:39
You`ll wash everybody`s clothes, and you two...
01:01:44
You learn some English, from here to here. You will have an oral test.
01:01:49
If you don`t know your lesson, I`ll gouge your blinkers out
01:01:52
and, how does it go? I`ll clobber you! You get that?
01:01:56
- What`s the use of learning English? - We`ll pull a blast at the embassy!
01:02:01
What`s the English for ``pencil``?
01:02:04
A table?
01:02:08
A girl?
01:02:11
- A broad. - No. in English?
01:02:17
- Girl ! - O yes, yes - girl.
01:02:21
Yes, yes, we`ll get in a mess.
01:02:24
Hello there! So you`re the ones who are staying here?
01:02:27
No, we`re not. The owner lives in Moscow.
01:02:30
Yes, I know. I`m the owner.
01:02:42
This is Vassia. He`s our adviser in scientific research.
01:02:48
- Pleased to meet you. - Hello.
01:02:50
You`re good housekeepers. Doing all your laundry?
01:02:54
- I can`t make my husband do a thing. - Docent would make him.
01:03:00
Come on, let`s have some tea. I`ve brought a pie.
01:03:07
She`s the landlord`s daughter, the fence`s!
01:03:10
Only she thinks that her papa is an archeologist.
01:03:13
He snowjobbed her saying that we were scientists. Keep up this story.
01:03:19
I phoned papa to find out who were you. He said, archeologists from Tomsk.
01:03:25
So I hurried down, because last year, when we were in Tomsk,
01:03:29
your professor Zelentsov gave us a royal welcome.
01:03:33
Isn`t the professor with you?
01:03:36
No! We only brought Docent.
01:03:41
- What`s your name? - Ludmila.
01:03:43
You can call me Fedya.
01:03:47
- What are you working on now? - Well... digging things up.
01:03:52
How interesting! You take from the earth treasures lost for centuries...
01:03:59
Oh, how I envy you!
01:04:01
Maybe you could take me along, though I have no special training.
01:04:06
- I could be a cook or whatever... - That all depends on a person.
01:04:10
A friend of mine, a scientist too, he finished three years of school.
01:04:14
His banknote drawings are so good they look just like real ones.
01:04:27
- Is he the man? - I can`t say for sure.
01:04:31
I`ll have to get a closer look.
01:04:40
- Have you a light by any chance? - I don`t smoke.
01:04:56
- Well? - No, it`s not him.
01:05:00
- So he`s a dick. - You`re right.
01:05:07
We`ve checked: there`s no helmet at the addresses given by Docent`s men.
01:05:13
There`s only one lead left: Prokhorov, the cloakroom man.
01:05:16
We haven`t been able to check it yet, he didn`t come to the appointed place.
01:05:20
He might have got suspicions. He quit his job and didn`t go back home.
01:05:25
- We better find him. - What`ll we do now?
01:05:28
And you... We apologize and thank you.
01:05:33
You may take the wig off, wash the tattoos off, and go home.
01:05:37
I wish you a happy new year. We are very grateful.
01:05:39
- And the boys? - They`ll be sent back to prison.
01:05:44
But if your cloakroom man appears, you`ll be needing us.
01:05:48
I would prefer not to tell you this,
01:05:50
but today Biely, or Docent, escaped from jail, very close to Moscow.
01:05:53
- He broke out? - Hard to believe, but it`s a fact.
01:05:56
It would be too dangerous for you to impersonate this man now.
01:06:02
Maybe tomorrow, then?
01:06:04
It`s New Year`s Eve today, a holiday. They`ve been trying so hard.
01:06:07
We`re living in the country. Docent will never find us there.
01:06:12
All right. Only stay in the house.
01:06:15
Oh yes, your message was forwarded to Sheremetyev`s wife.
01:06:19
Here`s her reply addressed to her husband.
01:06:29
Do you promise you`ll come for dinner at our home New Year`s day?
01:06:32
- We`ll be there!
01:06:43
It`s so sad. Such a nice girl!
01:06:47
And yet her father is a speculator.
01:06:52
What`s all the noise about? And why did you leave the house?
01:06:56
Here he is again... The untrustworthy fellow.
01:07:05
Happy New Year!
01:07:10
Vassia...
01:07:13
Gavrila Petrovich...
01:07:17
Fedya...
01:07:32
Comrades!
01:07:35
A brand new year is beginning,
01:07:38
and I hope that in this year
01:07:41
everything will be brand new for you!
01:07:44
We can`t tell what`s in the cards,
01:07:47
but I want you to know that wherever you are, wherever I am,
01:07:54
I will always remember you, men.
01:07:57
And believe me, I`ll find you.
01:08:02
Just a minute... I`ll be right back.
01:08:07
Just a second...
01:08:10
- Where`s he going? - The devil only knows...
01:08:14
You can never tell with him.
01:08:16
I know what he meant. He said he`d find us, and he`d bleed us, too.
01:08:21
- You mean he`ll bleed us to death? - No other way.
01:08:24
Look what they say he did to Pockface! Took his razor and ``swish``!
01:08:28
- Curtains! - Nothing but a wild beast, a hyena!
01:08:34
Knock, knock, knock... Who`s there?
01:08:36
Santa Claus! And he`s brought you some presents.
01:08:41
- Fedya, come over here. - What did I do now?
01:08:45
Come here I said.
01:08:48
This is for you. Something to wear at home.
01:08:51
What good is it to me? I`ve got no home.
01:08:54
You will though. Everything will come in time. They`ll be useful in prison.
01:08:58
Anything for a laugh.
01:09:00
For you, Vassia. Gavrila Petrovich, this is for you.
01:09:05
Thanks very much. Hey, it`s virgin wool!
01:09:10
And there`s this, too, for you.
01:09:41
To us. Drink up.
01:09:47
Arrgh! Like acid!
01:09:50
- What a drag not having vodka! - do you Have to get drunk Like swine?
01:09:53
- What else is there to do? - tell people the dreams you have.
01:09:58
You sound like a headshrinker in a courtroom.
01:10:01
We can play indoor games, if you want.
01:10:04
Am I a sucker to play with you? You play with a stacked deck.
01:10:09
But why poker, comrades? There`re many interesting games.
01:10:13
We can play hide and seek. I know a good game called ``cities``.
01:10:17
I start and say ``Tula``, then you pick one that begins with ``A``, Astrakhan.
01:10:22
Then you think ``N``, Novgorod. You got it?
01:10:25
It`s now your turn, Fedya.
01:10:27
- Why me? - Name a city that starts with ``D``.
01:10:31
- Vorkuta. - Vorkuta? Why?
01:10:34
- I did time there. - All right.
01:10:38
- You name a city starting with ``A``. - Dzhambul.
01:10:42
- Dzhambul? Why Dzhambul? - Because It`s warm there.
01:10:46
There`s my home and my old mama.
01:10:50
All right. I think I know a better game.
01:10:55
Say I leave and you hide some object here. I come back and find it.
01:10:58
- All right, Fedya? - You`d better find the helmet.
01:11:01
- Shut up! - We`ll hide the thing and he`ll peek.
01:11:05
Why would I peek? All right, you leave and hide it somewhere else.
01:11:08
I`ll stay here. And you keep an eye on me.
01:11:12
Why does it have to be me? Anything goes wrong, you pin it on me.
01:11:16
I`ll clobber you! I`m going to bash your face in!
01:11:21
Clobber, clobber...
01:11:29
- Docent, were you ever a little boy? - Of course, I was.
01:11:35
- You had a papa and mama? - Yes.
01:11:40
How can you be so nasty, then? You`re as mean as a mad dog.
01:11:46
Oh, Vassia...
01:11:49
- Got the thing hidden? - Raspy`s hanged himself.
01:12:15
- There`s our man. - You`re here too, are you?
01:12:19
I was about to go to yourjoint, but I smelt a trap.
01:12:24
I could just feel it. I could feel it down in my bones.
01:12:28
Mityai, you got to hide me for a while.
01:12:34
Come on.
01:12:39
- Where are we going? - Go on.
01:13:06
Sorry, doctor, your ambulance came for nothing.
01:13:09
It`s all right. Just give him some sedative, hot tea and let him sleep.
01:13:14
Thank you.
01:13:18
Does it hurt, Gavrila?
01:13:21
Plenty, Vassia.
01:13:23
Read it again.
01:13:27
Again?
01:13:29
Dear papa,
01:13:32
the news that you were in prison made us very happy,
01:13:38
because we thought you were dead.
01:13:41
I`d like to know who was the lousy skunk
01:13:44
that tipped off Raspy`s kids about him?
01:13:47
Shhh!
01:13:51
And mama was happy too,
01:13:54
because when your letter came
01:13:57
she cried all day long.
01:14:00
She used to tell us you were a pilot who made test flights...
01:14:05
Yeah, test flights out of the cooler.
01:14:09
Anyway I`m very glad you`re still alive.
01:14:13
Mama says...
01:14:16
you`re good and kind, only you have a weak character.
01:14:20
That`s it! He`s a weak character!
01:14:23
Steals our bread and tries to pin it on a hack driver!
01:14:27
Get lost, you hear? Or I`m going to bash your teeth in!
01:14:37
Cut it out!
01:14:41
What`s wrong with you anyhow? Shame on you!
01:14:45
You`re over 40 years old, half of your lives is past now.
01:14:49
What`s your past like? What will be your future?
01:14:51
Muck and ignorance and fear, nothing human.
01:14:55
Snap out of it while the time`s still ripe! Take my advice!
01:14:58
Listen, Docent! We got to get out of here, that doctor will turn us in.
01:15:03
- No, she won`t. - What makes you think so?
01:15:06
I just bled her with my razor, and threw her in the well.
01:15:15
To Colonel Verchenko, from kindergarten principal Troshkin.
01:15:18
Forward this letter if necessary.
01:15:20
I`m going to tell these men who I am.
01:15:23
I haven`t the right to deceive them any longer.
01:15:26
If something should happen to me, please don`t accuse anyone.
01:15:34
Let`s see, how much time was I serving?
01:15:37
One year.
01:15:39
How much will I get for the escape? Three years.
01:15:44
And then the kindergarten and the flat? Well, say ten years.
01:15:49
- How much is that in all? - 14.
01:15:52
And because of some measly 14 years I have to put up with that murderer?
01:15:58
The one who throws little old ladies into a well?
01:16:02
Do anything you like, but I go to the police.
01:16:07
Go ahead. He won`t touch you.
01:16:11
How about you?
01:16:13
Are you going to put up with him till you`re both dead?
01:16:16
Vassia... Vassia!
01:16:19
I told him that I had a cold, but he said...
01:16:23
Squash it! Who gives a damn about your cold?
01:16:28
Come here.
01:16:51
Where are you, guys?
01:16:55
Here we are.
01:17:00
- What are you doing? - We`re just sweeping the carpet.
01:17:03
Listen, comrades... Finita la commedia!
01:17:07
First I`m going to remove this. Watch me now... One, two...
01:17:12
Three!
01:17:22
When I`ve done my time...
01:17:24
I`ll quit! That`ll be it.
01:17:28
Then I`m going to get a job.
01:17:31
Whatjob?
01:17:33
- As a night guard in your village? - Why a night guard?
01:17:37
I can be a janitor, or a bricklayer, or a translator.
01:17:41
I know English now.
01:17:45
If only we had that hat with us.
01:17:48
Who`s Docent? A wrong guy.
01:17:50
You have plenty of those, but only one gold hat.
01:17:53
If we turn that helmet in, our sentence might be reduced.
01:17:56
Where could he have stashed it? We`ve tried everywhere.
01:18:01
You no good crook! I told you I had a cold.
01:18:05
And all you could say was ``clobber``. Made me dive in this weather.
01:18:08
- When did he make you do that? - When they nabbed us, remember?
01:18:12
He told us he went fishing, and he made me dive in the water,
01:18:15
when it was thirty below.
01:18:17
Wait a minute. What did he say about fishing?
01:18:21
That he`d been fishing through an ice hole, and he asked me if I could swim.
01:18:27
He put the helmet in that ice hole!
01:18:32
Look at him! He remembers! It`s in the hole, in Malakhovka!
01:18:38
And you kept it from us! You could`ve left a note when you hanged yourself!
01:18:42
- Come on! - And him?
01:18:44
Leave him for the cops. He`s too heavy to drag him along.
01:18:48
Come on!
01:19:00
Archeologists! Hello?
01:19:10
- There`s not a damn thing here. - It`s there, at the bottom.
01:19:13
- Go on, dive. - But Why Me?
01:19:17
Crosseyes is always the scapegoat!
01:19:19
- Vassia, tell him to do it himself. - No. I`d catch my death of a cold.
01:19:25
Afraid to catch cold? A guy who`s hanged himself!
01:19:29
You guys looking for something?
01:19:33
Dive for it! And make it quick!
01:19:40
- Which way to the landing dock, girl? - Straight ahead.
01:19:54
I`d waste you, boys...
01:19:57
but I`ve got other things to do.
01:20:06
Halt!
01:20:15
They are doubling up!
01:20:17
And a third one is back at the house!
01:20:20
Halt!
01:20:50
One!
01:20:52
Good for you, Fyodor Petrovich!
01:20:57
Two!
01:21:00
The more Docents we deliver, the better for us.
01:22:06
What about us?
01:22:11
We give up, too!
01:22:23
They`ve shaved his head already.
01:23:07
The End

Description:

Watch other movies on our site https://cinema.mosfilm.ru/ Subscribe to our Youtube-channel and follow us on social networks! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MosfilmOfficial VK: https://vk.com/mosfilm_official Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mosfilm_official/ The restoration of the film was made by a team of professionals from the Mosfilm Computer Graphics Group. Learn more https://cg.mosfilm.ru Favorite unlyrical comedy "Gentlemen of Fortune", shot at the Mosfilm film studio in 1971 One of the people’s favorite comedies about the good-natured director of the kindergarten, who, like two drops, looks like a recidivist who escaped from prison. Criminal investigators decided to use this similarity to search for stolen archaeological items. Director: Gray Alexander Screenwriters: Danelia Georgy Nikolaevich, Tokareva Victoria Composer: Gladkov Gennady Starring: Leonov Evgeny, Papanov Anatoly, Muratov Radner, Garin Erast, Fateeva Natalya, Kramarov Saveliy, Olyanin Nikolay, Springfeld Pavel, Sokolova Lyubov, Vitsin Georgy Mikhailovich

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