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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:13
good evening dear viewers, this is an00:00:21
anniversary year for me, I’m not talking about the00:00:23
anniversary again and I didn’t celebrate for the simplest00:00:25
reason, so they took me away, it’s somewhat reminiscent of a00:00:29
wake at a wake, the same people say00:00:33
the same words, but hiding the joy00:00:39
I understand a complex phrase in general from the point of view of00:00:42
toasts I really didn’t give00:00:44
you any leads because well,00:00:46
people will come because I feed them, they’ll say00:00:48
banal words and the same health,00:00:52
happiness for many years, nothing comes true,00:00:53
at least they’ll come up with something like00:00:56
one said so well for your talent without00:00:59
clinking glasses,00:01:00
this is what I understand, it’s true that he didn’t even00:01:03
get a punch in the face from the hero of the day for this toast, but00:01:06
one person told me anyway, well,00:01:08
I’m not touchy, but in general, if I were00:01:11
touchy, I would be pretty angry, to be00:01:14
honest, he told me, you know, to00:01:17
always be surrounded by people like that people like you make00:01:20
me so sad, I tell him this is a00:01:24
curse00:01:26
or wishes, I don’t understand either, in00:01:29
Russia they introduced a new holiday, the day00:01:31
of fidelity,00:01:32
this is that one day a year should be00:01:36
fidelity day, and there is also Labor Day,00:01:38
this is what I like00:01:39
oh yesterday it was Halloween I can’t, this is00:01:42
the truth, it’s a Russian holiday, that’s what00:01:46
fruits Halloween is made from, they don’t cut it out of00:01:48
tangerines, from pineapples in the West,00:01:50
I never dreamed of such a thing, I once shouting said that00:01:54
Halloween is an ancient Russian holiday00:01:57
called hangover, against you know, I don’t00:02:02
understand for such a philosophical question, I don’t00:02:04
know you understand Lera, I don’t understand00:02:06
why our women need to pluck their eyebrows00:02:09
so that they can then be drawn in the same place00:02:15
I like them to light up when a person00:02:17
gradually figures out the riddle00:02:22
two mannequins meet two mannequins00:02:25
one happy the other unhappy question the00:02:27
question which one of them works in a clothing store00:02:30
and who tests Russian cars00:02:34
well, the thinking of today's philosophy,00:02:39
if a person wants to live, medicine is00:02:43
powerless, but if he wants to, well,00:02:47
even legislation is powerless,00:02:55
yes, this is all thinking, if you see00:02:59
people who are resting, feel free to00:03:02
join them, if you see people00:03:05
who are working, move away and don’t interfere,00:03:11
if you want to work, don’t00:03:15
rush do a breathing exercise on your own,00:03:19
it will pass, it’s00:03:25
also not clear when Europeans see how00:03:28
Russian tourists behave in their countries,00:03:30
they can’t understand one thing: why00:03:33
Russians have European faces,00:03:37
you almost depended somehow00:03:40
okay then, it’s easier for friends and you know00:03:43
why there are reckless people in Russia they call00:03:45
Schumacher spring not alonso nick hard00:03:48
because Schumacher sounds in Russian well, it was00:03:53
easier, okay now00:03:55
it’s more difficult, no, it’s also easier 22 sumo wrestlers00:04:00
walk around the field kicking the ball, this is the future of00:04:03
football if the official sponsor00:04:05
remains the McDonald’s restaurant,00:04:09
normal for this I’m doing00:04:11
a warm-up00:04:12
to keep warm Slowly, our00:04:15
football team Kostadis has a00:04:17
wonderful new tradition, every semi-final00:04:20
not to go out phenol,00:04:22
but even women even reacted to00:04:25
this before us and call them00:04:28
aggressive, and when our football00:04:31
team won there wasn’t a single00:04:34
incident in the street, although the whole Moscow00:04:37
city took to the streets, well, what00:04:39
the British, after winning, how many cars00:04:41
they burn, how many shop windows in France00:04:44
they knock out, and we are aggressive and I dreamed about00:04:47
our relationship between00:04:49
drivers and traffic cops, because drunk00:04:51
drivers were drinking traffic cops00:04:54
and there was no copper incident to00:05:01
talk, two American oil00:05:04
tycoons listen, you know, it seems to me that the00:05:07
richest people in the world these are Russian00:05:09
peasants who took the bill and think about it, the sponsor of the00:05:13
Russian national football team is some00:05:15
old miller,00:05:21
but it’s not even just that there’s nothing to laugh about00:05:28
here, even to smile, in my opinion,00:05:30
there’s no point in it, although I’ll read this phrase, I00:05:33
think she’s not a bad person, she sounds00:05:37
proudly like a monkey sounds promising all00:05:42
the guys warmed up well Stirlitz was driving through00:05:46
Berlin in his black Mercedes he did00:05:49
n’t yet know that the war would soon end he would be00:05:51
given a Cossack as a hero of the Soviet Union00:05:55
now more complex phrases00:05:59
did you know that the most common00:06:01
disease among strippers is tetanus there are00:06:07
people in the topic even more difficult from you know00:06:11
are you the alarm clock of a heavyweight boxer the00:06:13
alarm clock of a heavyweight boxer and doesn’t live00:06:16
longer than 1 am sad I00:06:22
don’t need to laugh now you know that real00:06:24
loneliness is when your00:06:26
email doesn’t even come to your e-mail even the00:06:31
competent gym slept00:06:34
and you know the barbell and now it’s complete00:06:37
nonsense to be a the city of Nalchik Nalchik will00:06:40
soon become an offshore zone and will be00:06:42
called without Nalchik nonsense k especially00:06:47
you like it then we continue00:06:51
this Zhanna the winner of the00:06:52
Miss Glamor contest recently attached a00:06:55
mailbox to the computer and is now waiting for00:06:56
emails00:06:59
father scolds his son son you don’t read at all00:07:02
I gave you for the day birthday00:07:04
book you never opened it you never00:07:06
opened it son butts I’ll open it it won’t even fit into the00:07:09
disk drive serve with you there’s00:07:14
nothing to talk about with00:07:16
you about anything you read Dostoevsky00:07:17
you read well but I haven’t read anything00:07:20
talking to you and me, do you know that there is a00:07:25
30-storey 30-storey luxury building00:07:28
in Moscow to build without an elevator, apartments on the00:07:32
first floor will actually cost more00:07:35
than a ruble,00:07:39
do you know that according to blondes this is00:07:42
the most difficult phrase to say according to00:07:44
blondes swallows00:07:45
this the penguins who tried to do the00:07:48
splits00:07:50
in hell the lions especially somehow like it, do00:07:54
you know what the apartment of the new00:07:56
Russian rich oligarch is like when00:07:58
there is an aquarium with a hippopotamus in the living room and00:08:00
it is not noticeable and you know that it00:08:07
recently turned out that the FSB has00:08:09
come up with a new way of collecting information00:08:11
about everyone Residents of Russia they opened the website00:08:15
Odnoklassniki.00:08:20
but this is so to defuse the tension00:08:22
new patter the table was reserved00:08:25
reserved but don’t infect the video new00:08:30
proverb you need the old ones not all work anymore00:08:33
well for example nothing makes a person better than a00:08:36
game of paintball00:08:39
ahoy even catch one like that and after two00:08:43
Kenyans and you’ll chase you00:08:47
will come to the finish line third simple00:08:51
proverb but it’s that they are so afraid of NTV00:08:56
not to watch,00:08:58
but this is the proverb here for me to understand you00:09:00
need some degree of education00:09:02
from seven nannies00:09:03
from seven nannies the child of the Kutuzovs are00:09:11
educated people00:09:14
philosophical proverb not all that00:09:17
glitters is gold not all is amber that washes00:09:20
ashore00:09:25
less philosophical more specific, like00:09:29
a boom, it’s nice, it’s just a tube and it’s breathing,00:09:37
you can’t feed your wife, drink it,00:09:43
but that’s it, vodka and beer, girls to the wind, a00:09:50
modern sign, if a00:09:53
computer mouse talks to you,00:09:59
it means you’ve been visited by a squirrel, another00:10:06
sign, and if you ate a chocolate bar with00:10:08
nuts and didn’t feel the taste of nuts00:10:12
you have rare00:10:22
Western teeth, I’m reading slowly so that00:10:26
something is still clear Western weather forecasters00:10:28
bet a box of vodka to Russian00:10:31
rheumatism00:10:37
By the way, in the near future pregnant00:10:40
Tajiks will be banned from entering Russia,00:10:42
they will end up in their stomachs smuggling future00:10:46
illegal immigrants, but you know, it’s completely stupid,00:10:51
you know that a shot from a missile system00:10:53
poplar is called poplar hundreds of thousands of00:11:00
Moldovan residents decided to leave for China00:11:02
after a long time they knew that in the Middle Kingdom00:11:05
you were going to plaster the Great00:11:07
Wall of China in an interesting Moldovan00:11:11
filled out a declaration on the border with Russia00:11:15
and in the gender column he wrote Moldovan to00:11:21
some kind of parquet00:11:22
judging by let's go to Russia a new unique one was developed00:11:26
oka car model00:11:29
if it runs out of gas it00:11:31
connects to the mobile battery00:11:38
a good person woke up there by the way00:11:42
yesterday on the volga river a ferry00:11:44
carrying a car to the00:11:46
ferry sank and it didn’t take long to raise all the photos of the00:11:49
cars popped up on the site00:11:52
did you know that in russia00:11:57
drivers keep a solid lane it has to be done a00:12:00
meter high00:12:04
inscription on the wall of house 20 of a three-story building in the00:12:09
area of the penultimate floor on the wall00:12:11
graffiti inscription at a height00:12:13
this is cool and without soup,00:12:20
but since you always like you00:12:22
viewers to laugh at me, I’ll tell you00:12:26
today I had a nightmare dream that00:12:28
my own heart will come into my room00:12:30
and asks nothing that I don’t00:12:33
knock, I’ve been to many countries, often in00:12:44
some other countries I ended up with00:12:46
vodka on a dish in winter, how different peoples00:12:50
tolerate low temperatures differently,00:12:51
plus 10 Americans are chilling, the Russians00:12:57
are planting cucumbers, I can’t crawl, this is what00:13:01
he’s doing, that’s00:13:02
what’s going on here they only recognized themselves as funny00:13:05
+ 2 the00:13:06
Italians' cars won't start; the Russians00:13:10
drive with the windows down and watch the00:13:13
cucumbers grow;00:13:18
zero degrees in France; the water freezes00:13:21
in Russia; it thickens; the00:13:25
Russians pick cucumbers;00:13:28
-5 in Canada they turn on the heating;00:13:38
25 in Europe public transport does not work00:13:44
Russians stop eating ice cream on the street they00:13:47
switch to popsicles I shake00:13:50
hands without freezing -40 Finnish00:13:56
special forces evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland00:13:58
in Russia they prepare felt boots for00:14:03
possible frosts00:14:07
and pickle cucumbers for the winter00:14:10
minus 113 life on earth stops00:14:13
for the Russians bad mood00:14:18
frozen ethyl alcohol has to lick00:14:24
cucumbers and00:14:27
minus 273 absolute zero00:14:30
stops atomic movement00:14:32
Russians are swearing well damn cold00:14:36
tongue freezes to cucumbers00:14:45
in Moscow how ATMs appeared in the West00:14:47
where you can take money00:14:49
without leaving the car00:14:50
you know about men it turns out00:14:56
women don’t be offended okay I’m00:15:00
I loved you once00:15:02
before00:15:04
I stood behind this line of00:15:07
cars in front of me, a woman was00:15:09
driving when I watched her trying to00:15:12
take money from an ATM00:15:13
and came up with the idea that I needed to write instructions00:15:15
urgently, and so instructions for women00:15:18
who are trying to take money from an00:15:20
ATM when approaching stop the ATM,00:15:30
turn it back, then immediately forward a little,00:15:34
then immediately back a little, time and00:15:37
just a little forward to the right, all at once, and so on00:15:41
several times until the machine seems to me to be00:15:43
on the same level with you, open your purse,00:15:47
empty all the contents out of it onto the00:15:49
next seat, find plastic in this pile00:15:51
card, look at yourself in the00:15:54
rearview mirror, is00:15:56
your makeup good enough to00:15:59
communicate with the ATM, powder your nose,00:16:03
straighten your hair, extend your00:16:06
left hand to the ATM from a plastic card,00:16:08
if your hand encounters obstacles,00:16:11
open the window and extend it again,00:16:20
insert the card into a special slot in the00:16:22
ATM into a special slot, and then00:16:25
take it out immediately you will see the reverse side00:16:30
select the pin code immediately press the00:16:34
cancel button look in your address book00:16:36
what pin code you have see it for the second00:16:39
time immediately press the cancel button00:16:41
cross out the pin code of the old card00:16:44
call him already and demand that he00:16:47
tell you immediately you will receive the PIN code of your00:16:48
new card, you will hear from him everything00:16:51
that she thinks of you, powder your nose and00:16:55
paint your lips when you are sure that00:16:57
you will make the right impression on the ATM,00:17:00
enter the amount you need on the display in00:17:04
numbers, take the money, happen forward00:17:11
10 meters, stop, come back and00:17:14
take the card in the second since you can00:17:18
drive about twenty meters, still00:17:20
stop and think about the amount you00:17:22
took, then give the car back until there is a00:17:26
dull impact on the car from behind that00:17:29
some idiot parked on your00:17:32
way back,00:17:33
get out and explain to him that according to the rules of00:17:37
the road, the one in the back is always to blame,00:17:44
of course A traffic cop will come up to you asking you to00:17:46
present your right to call him,00:17:48
ask where he has your car, your00:17:50
right so00:17:51
that everything that your husband thinks about00:17:54
your mother does not serve, pass the phone to the traffic cop,00:17:59
let the traffic cop think that it is your husband00:18:02
thinking about his mother,00:18:04
after that you listen to everything that the traffic cop00:18:07
think about you and what because of people like you00:18:09
what if he could if he had a00:18:11
wife like in he laid hands on00:18:13
her00:18:14
and give the traffic cop all the money received in the00:18:17
machine00:18:19
listen to him 2 1 what about you think what00:18:22
if not you and that he will force his wife to00:18:25
get the same piercing as you have before on her00:18:28
navel, she00:18:29
has a blacksmith friend for this,00:18:32
only the wife needs to lose weight, otherwise the00:18:34
piercing will be noticeable in her ass, she00:18:37
will have to install a hula hoop in her navel,00:18:41
after listening to all this happy, go00:18:43
home without money but joyful you had00:18:46
success with unfamiliar men having driven00:18:49
one two kilometers with this feeling of happiness00:18:52
stop and remove the car from manual the00:19:02
highest degree of sense of humor a person has00:19:04
when he can laugh at himself a parody00:19:06
of himself00:19:08
it’s time to tell the truth everything in the world00:19:12
came from the Russians, for example, where the00:19:15
ancient Greeks undertook it was unsuccessful, because00:19:17
our ancestors even the word the Greeks itself is from00:19:20
our flaws,00:19:21
but where is the evidence in history everything00:19:24
changes except habits and traditions,00:19:25
look under the first, any work among the Greeks00:19:34
was considered shameful; the second favorite pastime of the Greeks was to00:19:36
gather for a symposium and, translated from00:19:39
Greek symposium means drinking party,00:19:41
in ancient Greece they even joked that 3 Greeks were00:19:45
already a symposium, the Greeks then gathered at the place they00:19:49
loved Potter and that’s how they even had the00:19:51
largest city, as it was called, building00:19:55
there, all the Patras gathered, the Trojan horse is00:19:59
also ours, and it looks like a wooden one,00:20:02
you’ll touch so much surprise,00:20:06
that’s all from ours happened in history,00:20:07
let's take the Romans, that's who lived on the00:20:10
Pyrenean boots00:20:12
before the Romans, we read the encyclopedia, the mysterious00:20:15
people are Russian, listen to the set, the Russians00:20:18
are Russian,00:20:20
and who in Rome besides ours could immediately00:20:23
build the ruins of a water supply system,00:20:29
read further in the same encyclopedia, the capital of00:20:32
Rome, the encyclopedia from the capital of Rome was00:20:34
rich due to the fact that all the other00:20:36
cities lived poorly, this doesn’t remind you of anything, it’s not00:20:41
for nothing that there is an expression: Moscow is00:20:46
the third Rome,00:20:47
then I’m even afraid to read in the00:20:49
encyclopedia when there wasn’t enough money in the treasury,00:20:51
this is written in history in Rome,00:20:54
one of the oligarchs was put in prison, how do00:20:56
you like this I like it and who they were after00:20:59
that in the Senate it’s even scary00:21:02
to continue further in the Roman Senate00:21:03
in history it’s written that senators often00:21:06
fought, one was written that he was so00:21:09
pugnacious that they called him mad00:21:15
once he got worked up to the point that he00:21:17
poured nectar on all the senators, well, there00:21:20
was no mineral water at that time the Latvian was00:21:22
after that not in the history of Rome it is directly00:21:24
written he was the son of an Etruscan00:21:26
unknown lawyer who else let's take00:21:31
France please they still have00:21:33
half of the words of our parachute portman and00:21:36
lampshade wardrobe airport noodles doshirak00:21:40
where did paris begin the power of rural watering00:21:43
listen to the Champs Elysees who in stories00:21:45
in the margins are always Eliseev, and even if the00:21:50
judges were all from our ancestors from the pack, the00:21:52
Spaniards had all the words of our00:21:55
curve fallen Basque people in Spain, our00:21:59
singer still sings them, and this is a00:22:03
Spanish tradition, to lift up the hood00:22:05
from him, run away from where let's go and you go00:22:09
to a disco in Lyubertsy push bk00:22:11
skinheads00:22:13
what kind of bullfight will begin national00:22:15
heroes all of us in all countries00:22:18
deeper just drip the Swedish favorite00:22:21
Carlson but only a Russian man in00:22:23
the prime of life having the education of a00:22:25
design engineer can not work anywhere00:22:27
live at the expense of children invention all our00:22:31
inquisitions a natural continuation of00:22:34
Russian folk medicine jars mustard00:22:37
plasters Russian bathhouse 140 degrees00:22:40
whisk of war with the addition of camel thorns, which is why00:22:44
foreigners still00:22:46
call our bathhouse the Russian crematorium the00:22:50
guillotine of ours wandered in too lazy to00:22:52
swing an ax and the Leaning Tower of Pisa in the00:22:55
Middle Ages without a foundation who could00:22:59
just build it right away Moldovans but they weren’t there then and00:23:02
all the great ones were ours newtone newtone00:23:05
only ours needs to be hit on the head00:23:07
for a thought to come to the head of a00:23:09
blind merchant and what books did00:23:12
ganache write so colorfully describe something00:23:15
that00:23:20
Leonardo da Vinci has never seen our Lene Vintikov00:23:24
artist Salvador Dali00:23:26
Yes, his brilliant masterpiece is the usual00:23:29
introduction of a Russian alcoholic Callum was00:23:33
Russian, but only our mod to sail to00:23:36
India to discover America, the discovery is not00:23:43
registered and so that the00:23:46
country is not named after him, even the hero of ancient myths is00:23:50
ours, but also from the global flood in00:23:53
nature, our grandfather Mazai00:23:54
and the centaurs come half-beasts half-people on00:23:58
the roads everyone was robbed by our typical00:23:59
ancient traffic cops00:24:01
only we called them the moment the explosion00:24:05
the main character Theseus remember the legend of the00:24:08
Minotaur on Crete in the labyrinth the vein of the00:24:11
monster filled up the Minotaur he was fed every year00:24:14
12 and 12 girls of Theseus00:24:17
our not the timing immediately said I’ll kill00:24:22
the order accepted entered the labyrinth with our00:24:26
ingenuity stood at the entrance when00:24:28
the door was closed behind it, then he knocked, he said, everything was00:24:30
muddied and they let it go, they believed in eating00:24:34
the monster, they didn’t let it anymore, she died,00:24:37
who but ours could have thought of anyone,00:24:41
we built the Chinese wall, all nations00:24:44
descended from the Russians, how to become and the00:24:47
hardworking Chinese workers who00:24:49
built a wall they always called bullets00:24:52
from where the words to from our expression q are00:24:54
you working so today and all the00:24:59
evidence that the first on earth were the00:25:01
Russians00:25:03
over there in Africa they recently dug up the first00:25:05
person heard he is 800,000 years old and you00:25:07
saw how he looks our chain o dat00:25:10
fingers in raskoryaku teeth fanned next to him00:25:14
on Boba all in Totsky00:25:16
around them gt dishes he stands he forgot00:25:20
after that not our ours what distinguished00:25:23
our sense of humor and when the monkey00:25:25
became a man when to work for what there00:25:27
is no nonsense, it’s not00:25:28
work that created a sense of humor out of a monkey a man00:25:31
yes she took in the hand of the shelf, but looked00:25:34
at herself from the side,00:25:37
slept, smiled something, and when she00:25:41
hit her neighbor on the head with that stick, that’s00:25:45
when she smiled, she became a person,00:25:47
and when she hit her neighbor with the stick, she00:25:49
burst out laughing00:25:50
and became our person, because00:25:53
only ours wants when someone else feels bad which00:25:56
means all the people on earth came from00:25:59
us commercial break short00:26:12
on the staircase drunk man00:26:14
drumming rhythmically on the door throat not00:26:16
obscene song voice-over00:26:19
marry an alcoholic and you will receive00:26:22
this melody on your doorbell00:26:27
continue commercial break Ahmed bought00:26:30
Russian citizenship for 10 thousand00:26:32
rubles, Chingiz bought Russian citizenship for00:26:35
300 thousand rubles00:26:36
in the fall, they were both drafted into the army, and if there is no00:26:41
difference, why pay pain,00:26:46
new series will help me wash the dishes,00:26:50
now I have only one problem: how not to00:26:52
wash the dishes from the new goal, our00:26:57
diapers look at the world through the eyes of a00:26:58
child, advertising for the life of drug addicts is00:27:06
short, I use the moment, and the last one,00:27:11
they don’t smoke,00:27:12
they don’t drink, they don’t swear,00:27:15
they’re animals, but now and now,00:27:23
dear friends, I don’t even know how to00:27:26
read this, I’ll be reading this for the first time,00:27:32
okay, no need to make excuses as it is, I do00:27:36
n’t know at all will someone understand this? I00:27:37
tried to read this on the phone to my00:27:39
friends; we won’t tell the community; we understand00:27:41
even the words and we understand these; along with the00:27:44
Old Believers in Russia, there is now a00:27:46
different faith; this is the Bryansk Internet Church;00:27:53
they even have their own temple; to00:27:56
enter it you need to dial a password and press and00:28:01
press the enter frame button you can00:28:04
confess in the chat00:28:07
and write a personal message to the priest00:28:10
fora provider of the word of God00:28:17
is normal for centuries to your friends00:28:20
this was read on the phone there it was stuck00:28:23
in the archive if if you want to00:28:25
pray just click the00:28:27
mouse once on the icon also00:28:34
not I can also read you can00:28:36
upload a video of the prayer on youtube and00:28:40
place a link on the blog gentlemen,00:28:44
of course, saying it beforehand until00:28:46
your registry is cleaned, your blue screen will replace you,00:28:52
let the controls protect you,00:28:56
because a person assumes and the00:28:58
moderator has the most terrible00:29:02
punishment, his faith is excommunication from the00:29:04
Internet,00:29:06
repentance for website on power of00:29:08
is made with two clicks describe your00:29:11
sin in the your sin field00:29:14
type the numbers you see in the picture00:29:16
and press the button repent vote for your00:29:21
favorite sins00:29:24
the owner of the most popular sin00:29:27
get admission to the site sin dot ru00:29:30
us Aidinova faith also publishes their00:29:33
Internet commandments to honor your father and00:29:36
don’t run your motherboard, don’t run your00:29:40
Yandex search in00:29:42
vain, keep your printer strict and your keyboard00:29:46
sacred if the mouse tempts you,00:29:50
cut off your mouse,00:29:53
don’t covet your neighbor’s iron, the00:30:01
main commandment of a gamer, if they hit00:30:05
you on the left cheek, jump back00:30:06
and hit you with a plasma gun according to the00:30:11
Nova version faith in Moses wandered on the Internet for 40 years00:30:15
the apocalypse begins so a00:30:17
window with communication pops up from the clouds the00:30:19
trial version of the universe has expired00:30:23
go to the developer’s website creation of the00:30:27
world according to the new version faith in the Internet00:30:29
Bible consists of new modems old00:30:31
modem on the first day God created a00:30:36
calculator and said it’s good but00:30:38
Tetris doesn’t work00:30:41
on the second day Alsou he created a radio market00:30:44
bought memory there, a motherboard, a video card,00:30:48
assembled a computer, downloaded Warcraft 3,00:30:51
played for six days, on the sixth day in00:30:56
the evening the Lord said you press this is00:30:58
eating, he didn’t do the work and on the night of the 6th to00:31:04
7th day the Lord did it light darkness sun00:31:07
moon stars firmament seas animals00:31:10
plants 2 units man woman00:31:14
users loser looked at it and said00:31:20
to hell with warcraft00:31:22
I will play this strategy and bequeathed it to00:31:26
office workers for five days of work00:31:28
and give the sixth day solitaire kerchief00:31:33
and added if civil has all the roads00:31:35
lead to Rome, then on the Internet all the links00:31:37
lead to a porn site, they were afraid of this,00:31:42
because the righteous go to heaven00:31:43
and sinners go to the site of House-2,00:31:47
but one day the devil clicked on the servants of his00:31:49
hackers and they sent Trojans to the earth and the00:31:53
cars froze and the blue screens were absorbed and00:31:57
prayed for by the users protection on the holy00:32:00
Kaspersky for the trespasses and this00:32:07
doctor appeared, the choice was careless00:32:09
and fought off such Archer skis and lured all the Trojans00:32:13
into the ass, the guarantee treated and00:32:18
finally remember if you hear in the temple00:32:21
such words as preved bear00:32:24
from sti Satan is tin and of our drink yada00:32:30
do not be surprised service in the temple there is a00:32:33
new Slavic language00:32:36
in the name of Hard Windows and the holy moderator00:32:39
admin, know it’s00:32:51
interesting that when the Georgian00:32:55
Ossetian conflict happened, well, it seems that on00:32:57
Russian dumbbells, many countries00:32:59
persuaded to apply sanctions,00:33:01
persuaded Europe to apply sanctions,00:33:03
but these were six countries, first of all,00:33:05
Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia, Poland, Ukraine00:33:07
Georgia and it is they who00:33:10
have now organized a new European club00:33:12
called the big six countries, the00:33:17
tekke hesitated,00:33:20
but of course for Europe this is impossible00:33:24
and it is natural that Germany France is00:33:28
terrified, it does not want to apply sanctions00:33:30
against Russia for a simple reason,00:33:32
France and Germany have already fought with Russia00:33:36
and not I know how it ends, but00:33:40
England still responded to this00:33:42
proposal and England applied00:33:44
terrible sanctions, maybe you remember00:33:46
sharing there was no message terrible00:33:48
sanctions they applied horror, horror00:33:51
the British did not allow 4000:33:54
English bagpipers into Russia in general this is me00:33:57
when I found out I thought how I did00:33:59
I will continue to live and those in Russia 40 bagpipers will not00:34:01
come to the call of England open00:34:06
other European countries Poland in washing00:34:09
powders that send to Russia00:34:10
will no longer pour blue granules in00:34:14
Poland also four00:34:16
tankmen and the dog of all Russian00:34:17
characters were cut out of the film the00:34:19
film is now called two Polish00:34:21
tankers one Georgian in Spain00:34:24
banned a Montserrat Caballe concert00:34:26
and because her figures resemble a00:34:28
Russian doll Greece annoyed us00:34:33
numerous Russian tourists she00:34:36
shaved all her fur coats bald one from Russia00:34:40
changed her last name to Demisa Georgians the00:34:44
Estonians, in order to irritate the Russians even more,00:34:47
decided to speak twice as00:34:48
slow as the USA sign protest will demand the00:34:54
return of all Colorado beetles from Russia to Colorado;00:34:59
Belgium dared to take terrible revenge; she00:35:02
will deploy a fountain of a pissing boy on00:35:04
the side of Russia, but the most terrible action00:35:09
will be carried out by Ukraine; she will throw into00:35:10
Russian territory photographs of Yushchenko without00:35:12
makeup that glow in the dark,00:35:17
by the way, jokes aside, but it seems Ukraine00:35:19
also helped Georgia she has now sent00:35:22
new weapons to the00:35:23
Georgian army, foam rubber bulletproof vests00:35:26
from Verka Serduchka as diapers00:35:30
can be used as a crime for Russia,00:35:35
she said that she00:35:36
will not tolerate such insinuations and therefore will respond00:35:38
adequately in the near future, the00:35:39
Russian government will send to England00:35:42
500 Russian balalaika players,00:35:46
one and a half thousand spoon rays and 8000 for the00:35:52
ensemble the winners of the competition play the00:35:54
accordion and they will all play at night on the00:35:58
streets of London on out-of-tune00:35:59
instruments00:36:04
this is a human tooth everything has been decided also to00:36:11
Georgia00:36:12
I’m afraid he says to send all00:36:15
the monuments to Tsereteli then in Georgia there00:36:20
will definitely be a shortage of land and finally Russia has00:36:24
been warned by the USA00:36:25
if Georgia is taken into NATO Russia00:36:30
invite China to the CIS after I00:36:37
wanted to see several times I talked about00:36:38
what a trap our00:36:40
Russian education has fallen into with this Western00:36:43
reform I receive very interesting00:36:45
letters from teachers of Russian schools and00:36:47
from all the really Russian00:36:50
squiggles they write you can’t imagine00:36:52
how right you are but these tests00:36:54
that came from the West answer00:36:57
correctly in monosyllables, only00:36:59
flat-thinking students, and00:37:02
multipolar thinkers cannot, because they00:37:04
cannot choose one exact example,00:37:06
therefore some new peppers have already appeared00:37:08
that cannot answer the00:37:10
question of what is heavier than 2 grams light00:37:12
drugs or 1 gram of heavy, a00:37:15
boy, at the teacher’s request to00:37:17
draw a dog, drew a dog dot00:37:19
ru00:37:20
but when they send extracts from essays,00:37:23
even to me, even to me, it stresses me and and he00:37:26
must say one writes honor00:37:28
essay honor is such an essence00:37:32
waged by Russian romantics of the 19th century,00:37:37
war and great peace the work is not00:37:40
some kind of Khukhra Mukhra, but a very00:37:44
significant Google population of the earth seven and00:37:49
a half billion people of Aphrodite the00:37:53
ancient Greeks called cretins in honor of the00:37:55
island of Crete00:37:56
Othello was a young African American Don00:38:00
Quixote had his girlfriend by hearsay in the00:38:03
stages Hamlet takes Yorick's skull starting00:38:07
2 massage Pushkin hears everything around with the00:38:10
naked ear the00:38:12
Trojan War broke out between the00:38:14
Greeks and the conservatives the Greeks won00:38:16
because the conservatives fought on foot00:38:19
and the Greeks had wooden horses,00:38:24
well, channel me phrases essays Galkin00:38:28
fell under Kirkorov's stream that's00:38:34
who the idol is, you become00:38:37
like the idols of Stalin the cosmonauts never gone00:38:43
leather stocking our pop music became our idols,00:38:46
can you imagine one of the idols in00:38:50
Jurmala, he had a solo concert and00:38:52
thoughts not to Filatov when to my relatives,00:38:55
quite a friend of his youth, they composed00:38:57
parody rhymes on the songs of our texts of the00:39:02
centuries, so they cannot be named, well, there00:39:06
they are always blood, love, you are flowers00:39:09
some simple rhymes and we00:39:12
offered them a shelf of a short coat then00:39:17
when back and forth a normal rhyme back in the00:39:22
ass from also good00:39:26
then I couldn’t even imagine that all this would appear in00:39:28
today’s texts one of these stars00:39:31
chic they are all stars all now stars00:39:33
and how do I wonderful said one00:39:35
woman yesterday I saw the performance of one00:39:36
star Pai on TV I don’t remember her00:39:38
last name I like it very accurately you00:39:41
year 1 star zhko sang in a solo00:39:44
concert in a song that rhymed00:39:46
like that and as00:39:48
I approached I say in Russia there have always been00:39:50
complex rhymes you need to complicate them so reef00:39:53
baby so and how so you00:39:56
giggled00:39:57
he took it seriously I realized now00:40:01
in vain I appealed to his sense of humor when he was00:40:04
n’t being interviewed on television and when the00:40:05
host asked what you lacked before00:40:08
for popularity he seriously did00:40:09
n’t see me before for popularity enough. there are00:40:15
a lot of talented stars,00:40:18
can you really call the people00:40:20
who sing the following song talented? I’m quoting a00:40:23
few tears running down your cheeks from bottom to top, you didn’t00:40:26
study well in physics, the person will tell you right away,00:40:28
or this one didn’t study well in00:40:31
geography, the song I’m sailing on the sea to00:40:33
Jerusalem, by what type can you00:40:35
explain I have a disadvantage I hear00:40:39
a word among young people many have a plus they do00:40:41
n’t hear what the flocks of cranes sing00:40:45
will bring us thousands of children this is a crane00:40:49
this is not from you understand but this is the height of00:40:54
illiteracy the song a girl is going to00:40:57
the capital a girl is going to get married and00:41:03
what images are in these songs lyrical empty00:41:06
birdhouse my chest how do you00:41:08
like it God forbid at night00:41:10
will present such a remote control with it now in00:41:13
your eyes don’t lose it and don’t break it00:41:16
like you the pulse can break youth these are00:41:19
all your songs that you hear sing00:41:22
my memory she sleeps with another00:41:26
I won’t forget the kiss that the jaw remembers, a00:41:33
scary picture, a scary one, it’s not a00:41:36
song, it’s a thriller,00:41:38
it’s so similar to autumn that it’s dropping00:41:41
leaves quietly, it’s so similar to winter, my00:41:44
only man, you’re like dust00:41:48
in a bear’s paws,00:41:51
did you mean00:41:53
I personally didn’t saw the dust of bear paws00:41:55
never00:41:56
dark night white sheets deeper water00:42:01
to remember you sit down the Czech wants this00:42:08
lyrical song you asked the elevator while standing00:42:13
how long is your heart stop it’s better not to00:42:17
raise not to listen to these words00:42:19
there is a rip you knew how much I want you I thought00:42:23
one guy on lesson about yourself00:42:26
where you didn’t study you can these are idols00:42:30
idols of a whole huge part of our00:42:33
youth00:42:34
phrases from Bilan’s song I’m burning in an icy00:42:37
fire okay but here he was walking through00:42:40
he was walking through the world he was following his trail00:42:45
like their hell is intertwined he was walking through the00:42:47
world whistled from the bark to his girlfriend00:42:50
whittled00:42:53
it just on a tarantass over potholes00:42:56
some kind of ride you and I have a steam locomotive without a pipe00:43:00
without wheels we have a road without rails00:43:06
left we got a road without00:43:08
rails he got just guides the00:43:09
same wheelchair he stuck to00:43:15
me like to pilots slowly okay that it will00:43:19
give you pleasure he clung on00:43:21
like a tick, I00:43:24
apologize, but his little thing is the00:43:30
best in the world of things, this is a declaration00:43:36
of love,00:43:37
and Ukraine wants to00:43:42
surpass Russia in everything, they also have a factory of00:43:44
stars and they also have their own00:43:46
factory miscarriages, here is one of the miscarriages of the Crimean00:43:49
factory sang if you want, don’t love me00:43:51
or I can’t I myself have00:43:59
much more of these quotes but all of00:44:01
them the image did not have time to read Tarkhov00:44:03
in the end00:44:04
3 it’s hard to be a boy if you’re a girl,00:44:07
well, it’s almost right, it’s impossible to even argue00:44:09
with this further and it’s hard to be00:44:13
a girl if the match is flight and then maybe I00:44:15
'll be a squirrel it's buggy and the00:44:21
boys become men under a00:44:24
loud command scary and this is00:44:30
finally a phrase from a song and an appeal to00:44:34
laugh but it's not good blasphemy this00:44:36
declaration of love is a00:44:38
serious confession very serious but00:44:41
I'll try to pronounce it so that it's just00:44:43
like he walks at least it sounded more or less00:44:45
decent, so I will00:44:47
pronounce it very separately, I love you00:44:51
early and I love you, the00:44:56
singer doesn’t have a good sound, I’m not00:45:05
performing today with me, few00:45:08
young friends in general, I love you very much00:45:12
wisdom, one of the eastern wisdom,00:45:13
I’m saying wisdom, I’m saying that you are young while00:45:16
you know how to learn from the young and that’s how they are,00:45:19
on the one hand my students on the other00:45:21
hand the teachers are00:45:22
Siberian guys why I invite them00:45:25
to perform in my concert because00:45:27
they burn and light up00:45:28
in our native style and they are not Muscovites,00:45:34
I actually met them for the first time on00:45:37
this television competition which00:45:41
was called oh00:45:42
my god minutes of glory there I was once a00:45:47
jury but I left the jury somehow I didn’t00:45:50
really like my colleagues on the jury there was00:45:52
one girl there00:45:55
I didn’t say anything you thought it yourself00:45:58
but it’s somehow unfair to young people the00:46:01
relationship is unfair because people don’t00:46:03
like it, well, say so softly that there00:46:06
you don’t pass the trace of chatur, but you00:46:08
performed wonderfully, there were a00:46:10
lot of young people, and00:46:11
this was especially true for me, there were a lot of00:46:13
young talented people and it wasn’t00:46:14
particularly pleasant there because I always00:46:16
say that the country ours is amazingly00:46:19
rich in talented people and that’s why00:46:21
I invite young people to perform with00:46:24
me so that it can be seen that there are00:46:26
not only those who appreciate pop00:46:28
idols to their friends and in general that’s what I00:46:36
want to say before reading,00:46:40
but some of these00:46:42
humorous observations were not made by00:46:44
me among of our people, I would say so00:46:49
wealthy, very smart00:46:52
people, very smart people, appeared and they somehow00:46:55
miss the fact that they work as00:46:57
businessmen, financiers,00:46:59
some of them began to write poetry and00:47:01
now they took a young man,00:47:03
but for me he’s definitely not much and even00:47:06
writes poetry and when I came across his00:47:10
poems I admired his poems, we00:47:12
called on the phone, I asked him if00:47:15
he had humorous poems because00:47:16
if humorous poems were written at the same level,00:47:19
I want to include them in the00:47:21
concert, he said yes and sent me 140000:47:24
poems, now I’ll give them to you I’ll read it, no no,00:47:28
don’t be afraid, I selected from them, discarded the00:47:33
indecent ones,00:47:34
there are 50 left00:47:38
in total, then I’ll read it out of them, and if00:47:42
you like them, of course, I’ll00:47:44
introduce him to you now, I don’t know exactly00:47:46
where he is, but let him go if you00:47:49
like it, then he’s presented if you don’t00:47:51
like him so quietly and he’ll leave, well, let’s00:47:55
start with so much philosophical stuff,00:47:57
although I don’t know, maybe it’s autobiographical,00:47:59
you and take care of your health, he00:48:01
said the truth, run faster, it’s clear that he’s a00:48:05
businessman,00:48:06
and this reflection is more accurate00:48:10
from I know from my own experience, he’s right on the00:48:13
beach, pale skin, come, because she’s00:48:16
all there is a vacation ahead for such men00:48:23
were pouring out crookedly00:48:25
there are sad ones under the cherry tree00:48:28
I realized in the spring that the third one is not superfluous that00:48:31
he is a spare one sad from the doorway she00:48:36
told me like a belly and I won’t return it00:48:39
because I didn’t leave00:48:43
but on our planet everything is unnecessary for children00:48:51
financier I love you it’s sad to live and I00:48:56
will declare in this way how much I love you00:48:59
life that in itself is not new I love00:49:02
you life00:49:03
only you me again from apparently the crisis00:49:07
has affected him00:49:10
please don’t judge strictly I have the right to00:49:13
say this I want to earn a lot of work I do00:49:16
n’t offer my mistress offended by the answer00:49:21
go - are you Ginny with such a bouquet00:49:24
strange women laugh interesting00:49:27
products for men00:49:29
philosophical not every spool is proud of the00:49:32
tag00:49:33
but every donut takes care of the hole how00:49:38
can something like this attract us unfortunately00:49:43
rather about me without a man harsh playboy00:49:47
playman playoffs I should have said00:49:52
something I’ll exchange you for louder laughter right away, but00:49:58
this is such a secret of financiers, I’ll tell you without an00:50:01
ounce of shyness,00:50:03
every nation has its own Jews00:50:07
and I wanted to tell her to her face, in00:50:11
your mouth,00:50:15
keep quiet, I don’t deny I would be very glad to love you00:50:18
20 kilograms ago for 4 and this is such a00:50:24
travesty on Vishnevsky00:50:26
she no no yes she remained faithful00:50:33
they immediately in the minister’s large office,00:50:38
forgetting to even close the doors, she gave in00:50:40
so quickly that he did not have time to retreat, we00:50:45
have been carrying on from time immemorial, since the time of non-existence, the00:50:49
desire of a woman, the law,00:50:52
the desire of men, articles were taught by the Osovsky00:50:57
brain of this young man and is00:51:00
not a very observer The old lady won’t see a turnip this00:51:03
year, after all, she’s watching the mouse all00:51:06
day long, outdoors I stand and pipe the juice with my finger and at the00:51:12
back of the head there’s a00:51:13
Russian fence made of boards and the furniture and behind the00:51:18
pylon the husband doesn’t come home on time, what to00:51:25
do, that’s the male tribe, believe me, it00:51:28
could be worse than another that husband who00:51:31
suddenly arrives on time a00:51:36
philosophical horseshoe for luck found at the00:51:39
trough don’t be happy someone threw off their hooves00:51:45
this will have to strain it’s so easy not to00:51:48
understand not everything is so wonderful an error00:51:51
is really behind the case the00:51:54
dative must be genitive00:51:59
yesterday there was such a thing at the planning meeting there was a00:52:02
fight with drunkenness and drunkenness00:52:07
won, not everyday prose,00:52:11
he can understand why get drunk00:52:15
and crawl, after all, you can smoke or so, oh,00:52:21
how many people understand all this from the00:52:23
developed people went and this is this in00:52:27
his own name, even though Andrey wrote this, but00:52:29
this is me who is considered in my name and will be for a long time00:52:31
I am so kind to the people00:52:33
that I told everyone that he was a freak,00:52:36
and this is my beloved, she followed him to00:52:41
Kolyma, ruining his hard labor for him,00:52:46
what a [ __ ] you are, Vasya, in nature, you went00:52:49
fishing and forgot the vodka, a song about the dangers of00:52:53
alcoholism, we continue the topic, the00:52:55
villages are burning for the fourth day, the cornet00:52:58
Obolensky died on a candle00:53:05
once in the chilly winter season I00:53:08
spilled vodka there was a severe frost00:53:10
for the kids I made an ice mountain and like a00:53:13
fool I’ll clean it up with my tongue00:53:18
and this is from my youth this is so this is so00:53:23
dear when I remember my youth I00:53:26
want to read this with an expression about the liver of my00:53:29
hands if they were at the throat for the souls, well,00:53:38
the last one is dedicated to our generation00:53:41
for the night suffering for the mental torment of00:53:46
our children our grandchildren will take revenge for us00:53:50
andrey lyapin where you00:54:02
thank ios and this already seems like death to me I00:54:05
read with an expression00:54:07
I was00:54:08
in the liver bar horn00:54:20
I want a young man was invited to the stage,00:54:23
he is the author, he performs on stage00:54:26
and he even directs, in general, he has such an00:54:31
account as it is now fashionable to say the head of the00:54:33
KVN team in the city region from Riga, I am00:54:36
also from there and I would say about him like this00:54:38
if he moved to Moscow he would became00:54:40
perky but it’s hard to become00:54:42
perky I left Riga all the time to00:54:44
become Zadornov but he doesn’t want to leave00:54:48
Riga her parents live there in general00:54:50
we write jokes he is a very modest00:54:52
young man and very educated00:54:54
when we performed with him at the00:54:55
Taganka Theater first what did he say when he went00:54:57
on stage, my God, he bitterly did not believe00:54:59
that I would go on stage where00:55:01
Leonid Filatov performed00:55:02
where Vysotsky performed, he knew all the00:55:04
performances in which they played, despite the fact00:55:07
that he is really a young00:55:09
man, he composes jokes, he composes and00:55:13
places many on the Internet They don’t even00:55:15
know that he’s the author of these jokes, these00:55:17
anecdotes, because he’s so00:55:19
nice, absolutely I love the guys00:55:24
who come from the coven, I myself started00:55:27
with the coven, today you and the city awards,00:55:30
kindergartens and nurseries are already a game, you know, I00:55:33
was once on the jury for two olive game zones,00:55:35
well, specifically, there was such a competition for00:55:37
captains, tattoos were solved by a00:55:39
friend,00:55:40
I invite to the stage a young person00:55:43
who is still involved in a coven in the00:55:45
city of Riga, but I hope that he00:55:47
will still have a different future, this is Harry00:55:50
of the Polish, please Harry, good evening,00:55:59
my dear friends, and I how Garegin ii00:56:02
spoke to my others and suddenly I think they want00:56:04
friends to add it is necessary I I’ll probably start00:56:08
Harry let’s start with me because young people00:56:11
everywhere have a road to00:56:17
since childhood parents forced Saakashvili00:56:21
to follow the regime, that’s00:56:22
when he had a dream for the00:56:24
whole world to know about Saakashvili’s regime00:56:29
except This is why in childhood Saakashvili dreamed of00:56:32
becoming a taxi driver, as a result, he didn’t become a taxi driver,00:56:34
but his desire to bomb did not00:56:37
disappear00:56:39
yet, as reported from reliable00:56:41
sources, in childhood he lacked00:56:44
female warmth, so instead of his00:56:46
mother’s breast, he sucked his father’s00:56:48
tie when intelligence was carrying00:56:52
Saakashvili sent 10 thousand to the NATO leadership00:56:55
bottles of Georgian wine for00:56:58
warming up, according to Saakashvili’s calculations, when it00:57:01
warms up, Europe will also begin to expand,00:57:09
feature films about the President of00:57:10
Georgia will be made in the near future, the Georgian patient is also the great-grandmother of00:57:13
she is a cage led by the devil’s advocate film00:57:15
and in the USA the film and in Mister on but changes00:57:18
he of the Caucasus thorns on the screens will appear00:57:20
the thriller the Georgian man Rambo 5 the last00:57:24
Borjomi00:57:26
fantastic film Sky Kabitt behind them00:57:29
on tar also the film the salvation of an ordinary00:57:32
godday00:57:33
and a film about the role of the European Union in the00:57:38
cargo on the Russian conflict the silence of the00:57:40
lambs00:57:41
and the film 13 Genatsvale will be presented for the Oscars00:57:45
Ocean's00:57:48
is a film about a Georgian special forces combat detachment.00:57:51
By the way, it became known that00:57:55
Georgia has not only00:57:57
cruise missiles in its arsenal, but now other nosed missiles.00:58:01
By the way, about America, the US government has00:58:04
received a letter from the Russian mafia,00:58:06
we want to officially declare that neither00:58:08
the Taiwanese nor the Japanese have anything to00:58:11
do with the real Russian mafia with00:58:14
respect and chenchik and now show business00:58:19
anfisa chekhova had an accident she was driven00:58:22
into the front right bumper00:58:26
capital news recently an00:58:28
unauthorized00:58:30
gay pride parade was held on red square thanks to the actions of the riot police it00:58:33
seemed that the00:58:35
parade participants were going straight to the front Russia00:58:42
sold Iran missiles from the new00:58:44
Yudashkin's earth-to-air collections spring00:58:47
2008, the00:58:52
first Russian unisex Barbie doll00:58:54
Sergei Zverev appeared on domestic shelves. By the way, it recently00:58:58
became clear why Zverev doesn't get married,00:59:01
it turns out he can't find a woman00:59:03
more beautiful than himself, Osama bin Laden is hiding00:59:07
in Russia, this version was put forward by the FBI after00:59:11
seeing astrologer Pavel Glob on TV00:59:14
and Nikolai Baskov was taken to the00:59:19
hospital with a sharp attack of self-00:59:21
importance;00:59:22
in her passport, photographs appeared on00:59:25
every page,00:59:26
and with an autograph, Russian scientists00:59:31
deciphered the name of the program Malakhov,00:59:33
plus it turns out plus this is the signature of00:59:37
Dr. Malakhov,00:59:42
and you are also great, and photographs of Ksenia00:59:45
Sobchak00:59:46
turned out to be healing if a person is in00:59:49
hiccup time looks at her photos he00:59:53
stops hiccupping he practically has no00:59:57
foundation public opinion found out01:00:00
it turns out that most Russians01:00:02
are interested in what Nikolai Valuev looks like on January 101:00:07
if most Russians on January 101:00:10
look like Nikolai Valuev every01:00:12
day an hour thin such jokes will go I01:00:19
warn you right away why I warn you01:00:21
because what if I don’t say that this is01:00:22
thin, no one appreciates it at all, but at least01:00:25
someone could have warned me, I smell a01:00:27
fool, I need to drink, my husband returns at01:00:31
three in the morning from the Internet, his wife is not here,01:00:36
his wife is angry, scared that he01:00:38
came across him again01:00:41
in a pet store in the Moscow region and who are01:00:44
these, 100 thousand rubles each, these are moles from01:00:46
the Moscow region, why are they so01:00:49
expensive, what land are they so cool, the guy01:00:53
says you know girls with01:00:56
looks like yours, you can safely01:00:58
work as an announcer seriously, yes on the radio the01:01:03
guy says girls Marinochka, we’ve already01:01:06
been dating for the second year, tell me finally01:01:08
and the great three words that forever01:01:11
bind people dear, I’m pregnant,01:01:17
call the police duty station,01:01:19
hello, you sent a squad yesterday to the01:01:22
address Svoboda Street, building 47, apartment 301:01:25
before there was a public disturbance01:01:27
of the peace, loud brain, wait01:01:29
please ask let them01:01:31
come again, they forgot their cap, gun and01:01:34
they'll look at the funny photos, it's better01:01:38
one man says to another mouse, but01:01:41
they argued for a long time about what to name the child01:01:44
and then they decided to just randomly point their01:01:46
finger at the calendar with names01:01:47
at night they chose the name for a rare circulation of 500001:01:52
copies, a01:01:55
plane flies, one passenger laments, you're01:01:58
good for me, it won't take an hour for the seatmate to throw up,01:02:00
well 6 you whine press the button on the01:02:03
ceiling but the man pressed and due sucks the01:02:07
stewardess the light bulb came on man but01:02:10
impudent I feel bad for the light bulb myself for01:02:13
burning a little harry together we01:02:21
more or less succeeded I’ll leave you 101:02:24
hang on here not everyone knows that on the site there are01:02:28
classmates for emoticons01:02:30
famous people posed and so let's01:02:34
see who posed for emoticons01:02:37
on the Odnoklassniki website.01:02:40
rub01:03:08
thank you01:03:10
and I01:03:27
and I think it’s normal because it’s normal to respect01:03:32
others your colleague01:03:33
and mine and the girl are not in my soul I01:03:35
have to joke with the war in my soul01:03:44
I was given a book01:03:46
called the history of the USSR from ancient01:03:49
times to the 18th century01:03:53
you are still alive on the Leningrad highway01:03:58
advertising banner in Leningradka01:04:01
Kugi car license as a gift that's all the01:04:07
salon is written at the entrance in the salon01:04:10
there is a sauna01:04:11
every 11 hours for free I would like to01:04:16
see someone who will wash for 10 hours01:04:17
with a dream 1 hour for free01:04:21
it's like what a stingy guy he must be,01:04:24
he's a furniture store written furniture01:04:28
below does not work below we rent01:04:32
bus station in Kemerovo lunch breaks01:04:34
930 10 31 40 1234 2015 2016 10 164001:04:40
working day until 1701:04:43
I came in the first thing I asked will not stick together01:04:45
after having lunch these people format01:04:51
no one can repair shoes go01:04:54
to the pharmacy kiosk next to the meat shop department of01:04:56
the bookstore01:04:57
and this is in the jewelry advertisement for ladies01:05:03
looking at our windows above 8 so01:05:07
don’t sigh the glass fogs up only when we01:05:10
see our ring01:05:15
I invite you in the newspaper advertisements we invite01:05:18
energetic and pensioners to work with01:05:22
parentheses career growth a wonderful01:05:24
enticement advertisement in the newspaper I will sell01:05:27
funny striped kittens01:05:29
from a reasonable mother and the enterprising people from01:05:33
us are still capable of people agree the01:05:35
announcement is for sale mixed-breed puppies mother01:05:39
shepherd father bastard01:05:43
instructions for the medicine below the01:05:45
effectiveness of this medicine01:05:47
is confirmed by the ceiling anatomical01:05:50
examine the candy given to me is01:05:54
called the cat Basilio01:05:57
why is there a code on the candy wrappers with a sign01:06:00
help the blind the anti-wrinkle cream01:06:04
is called anti Shar-Pei taxi company in01:06:09
Moscow heavenly slow-moving01:06:12
carpet store is called you01:06:14
in a good way everywhere in our fantasies the world of01:06:18
armchairs and chairs is called crumb01:06:21
name stores for expectant mothers mom01:06:24
don't worry01:06:25
in Novosibirsk hairdresser bald01:06:28
swift shop on the way to the cemetery in01:06:31
Matveevka on the way to the cemetery the shop01:06:32
is called on road01:06:35
tavern near Moscow 100 girls and all01:06:38
well-off enticement in the window it is written01:06:44
our cook is cooking in front of your eyes this is not a01:06:47
cook this is sit down if he cooks in front of your eyes01:06:50
when leaving Moscow the store01:06:54
is called wine vodka cottage cheese01:06:58
coffee in Russia this is all from our series01:07:01
having traveled around Russia I wrote out these dishes01:07:04
that cannot be found in any country in01:07:06
the world steak half-cut bourgeois sieve01:07:10
salad Anka the machine gunner coffee cappuccino01:07:14
company forward it’s generally unclear how much01:07:16
fish salad Chapaev’s catch to someone’s01:07:19
eye not Dracula spaghetti01:07:24
grandma’s remains horror who01:07:27
children’s cafe finished me off pig ears01:07:30
with tops of naf-naf01:07:32
with garlic croutons, you know what the01:07:35
unlucky pound is called01:07:37
and in the Urals there is a village called ha ha,01:07:42
only there is a cafe in it ha ha.01:07:44
and it says we have a special chief set01:07:47
with local herbs beauty and products01:07:52
supermarkets super deals we have karl01:07:55
hellish buy four bottles of01:07:57
Slavic vodka 4 yes that and get a birdhouse01:08:01
as a gift01:08:05
digitize this people is not possible01:08:09
who else might have such a ticket for01:08:11
sale piano eligible01:08:13
on the lid a small crack of an ax01:08:20
when a small one helps out several a01:08:26
man on the door of the house the entrance to the entrance01:08:31
a man who collected money for the01:08:33
intercom where are you where is the intercom where is the money and01:08:41
I managed to read this on one door01:08:44
capable of our people01:08:46
if you came to the commune at 12 o'clock at night or01:08:49
later decide exactly where they live01:08:51
who you came to no our residents of the entrance01:08:54
will be happy to tell you at midnight01:08:57
the route you need to take but01:09:01
you are unlikely to like it and if you01:09:05
just popped in to fix a01:09:08
small physiological need01:09:11
high style you should have an01:09:14
expensive watch with you mobile money for the renovation of the01:09:17
entire entrance porn chair01:09:19
j-th tubing floor of a bag of plaster a will and01:09:24
remember if you are caught stealing a01:09:28
light bulb, it is possible to notice what01:09:31
style and that you will be amazed at01:09:33
what place in your body can be01:09:36
used for the cartridge of this light bulb,01:09:40
also in the entrance to garbage chute01:09:43
don't throw garbage the garbage chute is clogged with residents01:09:54
in general really what's happening in01:09:57
Russia in general in the world the wrong ones produced ca01:09:58
n't happen Elektrostal city there01:10:01
is a suburb of Moscow here there nearby and a01:10:03
madhouse in the forest01:10:04
escaped from there violent patients called01:10:07
riot police to look for him in the forest around01:10:09
and in Elektrostal itself there is now there is01:10:11
an enterprise that studies01:10:12
mushrooms, including tinder fungi, tinder fungi01:10:15
are mushrooms that grow on a tree, and01:10:17
one of the scientists went to study tinder fungi,01:10:19
climbed a tree with a magnifying glass, everyone already knows the01:10:24
continuation and looks at the tinder fungus, so there01:10:29
is riot police in the cats,01:10:33
you do everything, but I collect mushrooms01:10:39
normally spent a week in the right01:10:41
place I have a whole series of01:10:45
stories like this under the title only01:10:49
here, well, where else was this possible? the wife01:10:52
kicked her husband out for the night, they quarreled, she01:10:54
kicked him out, he wasn’t upset, our man, he01:10:57
was happy for the night, he kicked out for the night, called his01:11:00
friends, let’s have a drink, what about I'm01:11:03
happy my wife kicked me out,01:11:04
she didn't kick me out, it's a pity let's have a drink, where will we drink? We'll be01:11:08
in the car, she's standing on the sidewalk01:11:10
next to the house, we went into the car, we got01:11:11
some drinks, he naturally sat down in the owner's01:11:14
seat, the driver's seat is approached by traffic01:11:16
cops, they drink the01:11:17
ovary door, drink while driving for a long time and a bunch of01:11:19
the engine is turned off, we do01:11:22
n’t know anything, let’s pay the money, I won’t01:11:24
pay you anything, I didn’t01:11:26
violate anything, give up the right, you know that01:11:28
the right now the dishes are being returned, he01:11:30
knows that’s the right, but he says he’s a sinner, I01:11:33
ask you, when will this case be heard in court,01:11:35
please,01:11:37
and when over they will laugh01:11:39
at you, remember about me, one such owner01:11:42
was in court,01:11:43
they rolled up the TV that they were01:11:45
catching up with him for an hour, they couldn’t catch him, it turned out01:11:50
that evening he didn’t have an engine in01:11:52
the car01:11:55
and a certificate from the same traffic police department,01:12:02
I’m in the subway sometimes now I I’m looking for01:12:05
traffic jams because I need to be on time for01:12:06
some business01:12:08
meeting and the door doesn’t close, the door is01:12:11
just jammed and the door wo01:12:12
n’t move and the driver is shouting over the01:12:17
speakerphone don’t hold the door and no one is01:12:20
holding it actually don’t hold the door it's worth catching up with01:12:22
everyone, it's worth annoying a man,01:12:24
this is only in Russia, the door fits and in01:12:26
our language sd like01:12:27
this, from the door it closed, the01:12:31
train passed us, treat the stations, the same one,01:12:34
hold the doors right away, there's a01:12:36
boom on the doors,01:12:38
let's go, so several stations are01:12:42
marked somewhere 5 the station's voice means the01:12:46
driver's volume and what smart guy at01:12:49
each station holds the door and01:12:53
this guy can't stand it, the01:12:56
speakerphone with the driver is on fire,01:12:58
no one is holding your door, they just close01:13:01
only after I call them but they are01:13:08
ready, it's the driver's voice and what01:13:13
station are you going to?01:13:19
answer yes, collecting the driver is01:13:23
great, let's move on01:13:27
and our gratitude on behalf of01:13:28
the metro, what are these01:13:32
abilities that we01:13:34
can use for the benefit of our homeland? Yes, it's01:13:36
useless in the Far East, Japanese01:13:40
cars, the engine won't start, the ignition01:13:42
won't start,01:13:43
if a person smells of our alcohol,01:13:47
it doesn't matter, you don't even care about all these Japanese01:13:50
to deceive a Japanese car01:13:51
costs nothing to ours, it’s only ours who can01:13:53
plastic bag put on the head01:13:56
looks creepy I’ll give you another smile01:14:04
deceived by Japanese one horror Frankenstein01:14:09
just Lendel he’ll call with this but01:14:14
the men drank while doing01:14:18
spearfishing on Lake Khanka drank and scorched01:14:21
victory no only ours can throw it on,01:14:25
put on a mask, put the tube in01:14:29
and put the tube out the window, the water is for01:14:36
you, I want to laugh with the traffic cop, there was something he01:14:38
saw, he came up, asked why she was01:14:43
silent because01:14:47
a friend was sitting next to her, she said the cold water01:14:50
was jammed, we’re taking it to01:14:53
the hospital, but only we can01:14:57
have an announcement at the station in the suburbs01:14:59
on the platform, citizens do not try to01:15:02
block the path of a freight train,01:15:06
and in the zoo,01:15:10
do not give alcoholic beverages to bears, he is old,01:15:12
this is the only reason why you do not01:15:15
need to give water to bears, this is only for ours, the01:15:19
Arabs pass for the Arabs, they came up with01:15:21
fun for Russian tourists, this01:15:23
Russians go for it for five dollars,01:15:25
fill your chest with air, crack a01:15:28
crocodile in the head with an oar,01:15:31
this is for the benefit of the homeland, it was sent01:15:34
to no avail, I once ended up with our people in01:15:39
a room of horrors,01:15:41
you know, an attraction in the west, I can’t01:15:46
there knights scare ours with a01:15:49
visor, they stand before they were ready to01:15:53
scare, and ours are already a knight with a knight01:15:57
the visor is jammed ours are going to scare those01:16:01
who should scare in the energy in the country before they01:16:06
decided to go down the river01:16:09
Rivkin took they don’t say in Turkey in the morning they01:16:13
came up with this idea that now01:16:15
for a hangover they have to go down the river01:16:18
all of both kinds all and my all suits are01:16:22
dismantled boats They also found some01:16:24
stunted white guy, the instructors already01:16:27
paid such money for 3 pensions that he01:16:30
said okay, let's go scrape the bottom of the barrel with01:16:32
clothes from 20 years ago, as if he had01:16:34
found clothes for this business, they dressed up as homeless people in real01:16:38
life, which means they were all like that, the boat was sluggishly01:16:41
buried on May 9th. it’s important that there’s a boat in front01:16:46
on which he’s dressed to the nines and01:16:49
will tell the Turk about01:16:52
the 40th, take it and tell me, in my opinion, the Germans01:16:56
all know what’s supposed to happen next,01:17:00
go, go, the semi-homeless people picked up speed,01:17:05
shouting for Stalin,01:17:09
bro, they wounded these little ones, this01:17:13
turned out to be not the Germans, turned out to be our01:17:15
oligarchs are01:17:18
all in the water, this is the boat, this is it, and everyone01:17:22
is happy, they came out, they drank to the victory, a01:17:28
unique people, oh, and what kind of01:17:35
explanatory notes we write and sometimes I read, this is01:17:37
how it will be explained to me, I feel so01:17:39
sorry for the one who wrote this, I swore at01:17:41
my wife with obscene words, since I01:17:44
couldn’t do it to hit him while he was under the bed,01:17:47
well, it’s a pity that he was such a gopher with his paws, I’ll01:17:50
beat him with my comrades at that moment,01:17:53
how much of a fool I am in the world at that moment01:17:55
when the mechanic swung the hammer,01:17:58
the victim stood behind him01:18:01
to see where the blow would fall, the blow01:18:05
hit him in the forehead, they just01:18:09
didn’t know this before,01:18:10
the policeman wrote the protocol in apparently01:18:14
the policeman was a poet or just a01:18:16
romantic of stealing a boat, he wrote down01:18:19
the following from the boat, only light01:18:23
ripples on the water remained01:18:27
and a guy came into the tram like a random passenger with a01:18:31
cashmere coat and a hat,01:18:33
talking on the phone and still looking at him like that,01:18:35
he says yes yes you can kill01:18:39
It turned out that his son was playing a shooter game, he01:18:42
gave permission, but on the tram they didn’t know that01:18:45
his son was playing a shooter game, that I01:18:49
like everything about it, that people send me01:18:51
these stories by e-mail about01:18:53
their loved ones, that is, they have a highly01:18:56
developed sense of humor, for a while the person does01:18:58
n’t write in the picture, I’m in a hurry to get home,01:19:01
drunk, at two o’clock in the yard, there’s01:19:04
no light, I decided to cross01:19:06
the doors diagonally, there was faster running light, no light,01:19:09
suddenly someone hit me in the head with a piece of iron01:19:11
and fell, I woke up, I think I have to get up, I01:19:15
got up again, the homeless people hit me in the head with a fishing line01:19:19
thought fell, I need to quickly become even my face01:19:22
rose faster even stronger riot on the01:19:25
head it turned out to be a children's horizontal bar01:19:32
and this is infinitely I can grow infinitely and01:19:35
now cool phones 1 1 phone is not01:19:39
hidden from another Ghanaian in the minibus01:19:42
guys he has a phone you dear listen01:19:52
explanatory bus driver01:19:53
was selling tickets in salon itself because01:19:56
the conductor was so drunk that he was01:19:59
constantly confused in the change, they had to01:20:01
put him behind the wheel temporarily,01:20:06
this is good, this is reassuring,01:20:09
now we are checking how much of the array is01:20:11
left, how do you like the advertisement in the01:20:15
newspaper, I laughed louder than all of us01:20:18
put together, they sell firewood with chopped logs01:20:20
ah you only still have strength left and01:20:25
the sign in the urologist's office just01:20:29
come show off the heavens01:20:32
ok01:20:34
you have man 4 breath has opened you are in01:20:36
your mind so Godard's01:20:40
Mrs. ad rolls around in the city of Kirishi at the entrance to the01:20:42
disco local ad01:20:44
come discount if you are drunk or01:20:47
intoxicated this various is prohibited01:20:51
next entrance entrance crawled takeoff black01:20:55
teleportation01:20:59
but I need to end with my favorite topic,01:21:02
this is about the world of Kosov, the young guys with01:21:06
whom we performed today, they01:21:09
invited me to an event in a night bar and I01:21:12
went to the bar01:21:13
to get something to drink and there were01:21:15
three Americans standing there in such a01:21:17
world, doge braids and now pay no attention to anyone for01:21:20
15 minutes already, maybe this01:21:22
bartender doesn’t know what they should take, there’s01:21:25
already a queue and they still aren’t the main heads of01:21:28
duty, and I’m a fighter for justice, I’m01:21:31
in rags, he says let’s bass trap serving01:21:33
these three idiots alone a couple of them are01:21:36
for grid 201:21:37
I am a translator, my friends, you01:21:46
survived this evening amazingly, I want to wish you01:21:50
tonight conclusion, you will come01:21:53
home now, we are all our people, me and you and myself and01:21:57
you I read I wish you know what for the night in01:21:59
our native style appetite01:22:05
and still there is a difference and still there is a01:22:08
difference to laugh or notDescription:
Краткое содержание концерта "Задорный день 2" Михаил Задорнов про свой юбилей Непонятки Знаете ли вы? Новые пословицы Как разные народы переносят морозы Инструкция (женщина и банкомат) Всё в мире произошло от русских Большая шестёрка Церковь Интернет-обрядцев Из сочинений Попса Стихи А. Алякина Дурошлёпство Псих, грибы и ОМОН Объяснительные Наши 9 мая в Турции на реке ГАИшник и водитель на машине без мотора Как наши обманывают японские авто Пьяный мужик и детский турник ✔ Смотрите на Задор ТВ: ➡ Концерты Михаила Задорнова - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COHwi1ptDF1Xn0foRRdtiENH ➡ Михаил Задорнов Лучшее - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COHLuAbjhEnzhnulv1Fdx8_i ➡ Неформат с Михаилом Задорновым - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF3C82E9FA53388E1 ➡ Вещий Олег. Обретенная быль - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COH4LpR8BID9NeRDqs5rxGL7 ➡ Фильмы Михаила Задорнова - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COGAKy6NvutKIkgjuLrKbh_U ✔ Подписывайся на Задор ТВ ➡ https://www.youtube.com/mnzadornov?gl=CO
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