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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
[music]00:00:11
[applause] [music]00:00:16
[applause]00:00:24
Good evening Good evening let's start00:00:26
our00:00:28
meeting I want to tell you a secret we are00:00:32
recording today New Year's Eve00:00:35
with you today January 100:00:39
means00:00:42
Therefore Dear viewers I00:00:44
congratulate you Happy New00:00:48
Year but maybe maybe it will be January 31, maybe it will be00:00:52
December 31 Therefore, excuse me00:00:55
Dear viewers, I00:00:57
congratulate you on the upcoming New Year,00:01:03
but maybe the00:01:07
control New Year will be shown on January 13 when it00:01:12
comes Dear00:01:14
viewers, the New Year has recently arrived,00:01:17
I congratulate you anyway, this00:01:20
New Year’s mood is not yet00:01:30
New Year I think, first of all, we need to00:01:33
think about what was interesting00:01:35
last year and, conversely, what happened that we00:01:38
wouldn’t want to happen in the00:01:40
New Year, we need to analyze everything. Well, let’s00:01:43
start with the sad thing about00:01:48
Russian sports. Well, probably not very00:01:51
sad, it’s about the World Cup,00:01:53
which took place in Africa, here in00:01:56
general there was no big trouble for us, we00:01:58
just didn’t participate,00:02:05
but I must say that of course the main00:02:07
event of the championship was, of course, and the main00:02:11
hero of the championship was who Hasmik Paul, the00:02:14
whole audience answered correctly, really00:02:17
his00:02:18
Glory, I just don’t know, you know, they00:02:22
even say that the United Russia ordered00:02:24
an octopus, Pau, a forecast for the presidential00:02:27
elections next in Russia, in Drosov00:02:30
traditions, the octopus was lowered into an aquarium,00:02:32
two feeders, one with a portrait of Putin,00:02:36
the other with a portrait of00:02:40
Putin. Well, in general, few people know that00:02:42
after Germany lost to00:02:44
Spain, the octopus Paul became00:02:48
Semyon. But of course, the success of the octopus does not00:02:51
give rest for other animals and in the00:02:55
forests near Bryansk the Bear is a00:02:58
predictor, his predictions are infallible,00:03:01
whoever he chooses from the forest will not00:03:03
return Well, you are right,00:03:09
people are shouting out Why will I tell you00:03:12
a secret, the octopus full committed00:03:14
suicide, he00:03:16
strangled himself after he was asked to00:03:19
guess the result match Shinnik00:03:24
Kuban Well, let's move on to a very sad00:03:27
event in sports in Russia. The00:03:29
Olympic Games, well, first of all, of course,00:03:31
the hockey loss upset us very much.00:03:34
Although I would say that there is no need to be00:03:36
upset, you know, if you take a00:03:38
philosophical approach to the loss that we00:03:40
all remember, you cannot say that this is the00:03:43
Russian hockey team lost I00:03:45
would formulate it this way, the Russian team of00:03:49
Canada lost to the Canadian team of00:03:52
Canada and Russia had nothing to do with it at all By the way,00:03:54
Plushenko acquitted our00:03:57
hockey players immediately after this match00:03:59
Plushenko said that the Canadians won00:04:02
unfairly, none of the Canadian hockey players00:04:04
did a quadruple sheepskin coat And in general,00:04:07
when Plushenko00:04:09
won only a silver award,00:04:12
eyewitnesses say he shouted to Dima Bilan,00:04:15
who was sitting on the podium at the time. Well,00:04:17
who said that we don’t00:04:21
need a violinist as a symbol of our Olympic team00:04:23
was the right Cheburashka Chebu in00:04:27
full, I would say, so they00:04:30
skated the best, skated the00:04:33
Olympic Games, our00:04:37
officials and everyone understands Yes, it remains00:04:40
to find out the amount of00:04:42
kickbacks, you know, there is such a satirist, I00:04:45
will repeat it again Zadornov, he always00:04:47
calls Americans00:04:50
stupid unfairly, I must say, you00:04:52
can imagine that00:04:54
American officials went to the00:04:56
Olympic Games, took the athletes as00:04:59
their slaves, and went with their00:05:01
wives and mistresses with lovers of00:05:05
lovers with lovers of lovers of00:05:07
lovers and all of them were decorated by trainers the00:05:10
relish of sleds psychologists designers of00:05:13
ski poles image makers mops for curling Can00:05:19
you even imagine that00:05:22
in some country they said in advance we will only00:05:24
win medals like firefighters00:05:28
varnishing medals is customary only00:05:32
here why I explain this will immediately become00:05:35
clear to everyone the more00:05:37
medals you plan the more from the00:05:42
treasury I don’t even know how to00:05:45
say decently the more stuff in your pocket00:05:48
from the treasury and most importantly they learned to make excuses00:05:52
but didn’t win medals they say the00:05:55
skiers got in the way of the00:05:58
snow and the hockey players00:06:01
Ice and most importantly I’m sorry that I’m done time I will00:06:04
turn to America to my beloved00:06:06
country, but they would have imprisoned everyone after00:06:10
that. And here they00:06:13
are preparing Sochi. Can you imagine in Sochi, our00:06:16
officials already have an expression that is00:06:18
untranslatable into any language in the world; kickback from one00:06:21
hundred percent00:06:24
prepayment; Western businessmen hang up and00:06:27
don’t understand what it is means the symbol of00:06:29
the Olympics you all know the emblem of the00:06:31
Olympic Games in general there are five rings One00:06:34
ring has already been stolen as a symbol in Sochi in Sochi00:06:38
2014 there will be an Audi car icon00:06:44
difficult00:06:47
Okay in the same America they are building ski00:06:50
slopes, jumps, ice palaces in every00:06:53
yard there are sports grounds we have in00:06:56
every yard at00:06:58
best, God in the00:07:02
sandbox, what kind of athletes can00:07:05
children grow up under mushrooms become?00:07:29
today it’s more expensive00:07:31
than building playgrounds, but it’s00:07:33
unprofitable, there are no kickbacks,00:07:36
and I know how to do it, if only00:07:40
someone would listen to me now, especially00:07:42
from those I’m about to talk about, I know how to00:07:44
make sure that they build both trampolines and00:07:46
rednecks for women and ice palaces.00:07:50
so that Medvedev and Putin take up all00:07:53
kinds00:07:55
[applause]00:07:58
Spock ski00:08:00
jumping but not all events are sad in00:08:03
our sport for the first time in Formula 1 a00:08:05
Russian pilot finally took part. The00:08:07
rivals of Pravda already figured out his00:08:09
weak point when they saw00:08:12
a man in gray and with a00:08:15
radar in the roadside bushes slows down the speed of football00:08:20
I must say, too, there is one such00:08:24
circumstance, one event happened00:08:26
that Well, it gives us hope to still00:08:28
dream that our football will rise00:08:30
someday Dick lawyer was invited as a00:08:33
senior coach Well, although I am skeptical00:08:36
about this in order for00:08:38
football to develop In Russia, we don’t need a lawyer, but a00:08:41
prosecutor; we know that in order to00:08:44
win in football you need to00:08:45
move quickly and the Russian national team is a walking00:08:51
example of this. I [00:08:54
applause]00:08:58
understand00:09:01
that they have a good field hockey team,00:09:04
then00:09:07
having a coach from00:09:10
Holland would be completely justified. Well done, almost everyone entered But00:09:14
in general, for comparison, there are a lot of00:09:17
fans here today, there are also a00:09:19
lot of TV viewers, the Americans are also bad00:09:21
at00:09:28
football00:09:30
San. What did they come up with, they came up with their own00:09:33
sports00:09:36
rugby baseball They are the best in the world Because00:09:40
no one plays this00:09:42
anymore and we should give up football a long time ago00:09:45
and to develop our Russian sports,00:09:51
we are [ __ ]00:09:55
in the00:09:58
Voskresnaya Zabava Folk, but recently00:10:02
one of the officials proposed00:10:05
a good option to reduce the demand from the00:10:08
Russian national football team, he suggested00:10:10
giving it00:10:19
Paralympic status, too, here I am, I am00:10:22
amazed when even smart people get00:10:25
up there they have something going on with their00:10:27
brains too, one of the rulers Well, not the00:10:30
most important ones Well, from the soro echelon00:10:33
he said, apparently from the fans and he00:10:36
says in 1818, I’m sure the Russian national00:10:39
football team will become the world champion, where did00:10:42
you get the idea from? Why did they ask00:10:46
the youth? doesn’t know who Pile is. This is00:10:48
the most legendary football player of all time.00:10:49
One of the00:10:51
Russian journalists asked him. When do you think the00:10:54
Russian football team00:10:55
will become the world champion? VLT answered when the00:10:59
Brazilians will become the world champion in00:11:03
hockey. Well, now about everything.00:11:06
blitz news we have the Minister of Greece Papa00:11:10
Andreu said that Greece is in a00:11:12
situation completely corresponding to his00:11:16
name Barack Obama received the Nobel00:11:19
Prize in general He is a great showman, he is00:11:22
wonderful and he speaks so beautifully this is the00:11:25
only case in the world when they gave00:11:28
the Nobel Prize for00:11:30
a promise he did nothing the prize was received00:11:34
brilliantly not There was one more person, I was00:11:37
wrong, who received the Nobel00:11:38
Prize for his promise, it was00:11:40
Gorbachev, but the Soviet Union collapsed00:11:42
after that, let’s consider this a good00:11:46
[applause]00:11:49
tradition, although I consider it honorable and my00:11:53
deepest bow to Barack Obama for everything he00:11:57
does and offers because finally00:11:59
started with America in Russia Barack00:12:02
combination Council of Europe recently00:12:05
maybe not everyone knows I’ll tell the Council of00:12:07
Europe recommended that in Europe all00:12:11
nations stop using the words00:12:13
mother and father it humiliates the sex00:12:16
minority Well what can I tell you in general There is a00:12:19
cloud without a silver lining But the famous00:12:22
Russian curse will be sound00:12:24
more noble now your00:12:27
parent is00:12:29
another news that not00:12:31
everyone knows about. The Central00:12:34
Bank several months ago proposed00:12:36
to withdraw five-kopeck coins from monetary circulation in Russia;00:12:39
many governors00:12:42
expressed00:12:44
concern about how they should now pay00:12:46
salaries to doctors and00:12:48
[music]00:12:52
teachers; the most complete print was published in Moscow00:12:55
the encyclopedia of the Caucasian and was00:12:59
compiled based on the results of the00:13:01
population census in00:13:04
Moscow. Well, of course, few people know that in00:13:07
many apartments the population census00:13:09
smoothly developed into an inventory of00:13:11
property in general, when the results of the00:13:15
population census were summed up, which you all know,00:13:17
it became clear that the United Russia party won, and this00:13:20
is a landmark event,00:13:25
Avtova, say wrong under00:13:30
explained by the increase in demand for the00:13:33
car, you don’t even need to joke, just00:13:36
read the news and00:13:39
that’s it. I’ll comment on the management of the00:13:41
VAZ said I heard the interest in the luggage of00:13:45
Kali, I really wanted to tell them not to00:13:48
confuse interest and00:13:57
curiosity to reap 200 dollars for00:14:00
a car that looks like00:14:03
[applause]00:14:05
150 Well, Putin drove00:14:08
it, so the whole country reacted to it with00:14:12
something like00:14:16
emo, in order to keep up with Putin,00:14:18
Lukashenko plowed 10 hectares on a00:14:21
tractor00:14:22
Belarus and Yanukovych Zaporozhets didn’t00:14:27
know how, but in general, after a trip from00:14:30
Khabarovsk to Chita, Putin said that this00:14:33
trip showed that the Lada Kalina is00:14:35
capable yes, that’s what he said,00:14:38
the trip to Khabarovsk Chita is all that the00:14:41
Lada00:14:46
Kalina is capable of, now let’s move on to00:14:48
show business news, to the events that00:14:50
took place in00:14:53
show business in this year, well, first of all, the00:14:56
New Wave festival, come on in, I00:14:59
was there at that time. By the way, a00:15:03
technical glitch, one evening00:15:05
hundreds of spectators saw a00:15:07
security guard in black glasses come on stage and begin to00:15:10
silently squirm in convulsions. However, it00:15:12
soon turned out that they forgot to Gregory Leps.00:15:15
Turn on00:15:19
the microphone. Do you know the main event of the00:15:24
New Wave music festival? The00:15:26
main musical event was arrived by00:15:28
Abramovich.00:15:30
These are amazingly young00:15:33
performers journalists are not at all00:15:35
interested in young people new names00:15:37
talents No all the newspapers write Abramovich will come Abramovich will00:15:39
come one00:15:41
journalist wrote He wants to buy something00:15:43
in Latvia right away one then published he00:15:47
wants to buy Latvia wrote it00:15:49
means but it turned out that no somehow the00:15:53
price-quality ratio is not arranged00:15:55
in00:15:57
Latvia, people came out to meet his yacht, I00:16:01
wanted to tell them all the time. My friends, do00:16:03
you even understand what you are doing?00:16:06
Why did such love for the oligarchs00:16:08
awaken in the common people? Oligarchs are00:16:11
rich people according to Lomonosov’s law, if00:16:13
somewhere it has increased, others have decreased,00:16:15
by the way, and Abramovich arrived such a00:16:18
smile I’m embarrassed by a person You already00:16:20
love me that I love you to00:16:23
meet him00:16:27
like oligarchs, it’s a pity you saw the faces of00:16:30
oligarchs They never smile I00:16:33
saw some of them smile oh00:16:35
It would be better if they didn’t smile it’s hard for them to live with00:16:38
such a load of money what to do with it it’s a00:16:41
yacht he has a poor guy, it’s a yacht, something00:16:45
was spoiled, almost 100 Milonov00:16:47
for repairs. He sent a yacht to be repaired in Germany. They00:16:50
told me this. I don’t know00:16:52
this for sure and no. I don’t know Roman00:16:54
Aramovich. We00:16:57
’ll fix the aircraft very well. But00:17:00
it turned out to be Kazakh00:17:03
Germans. in short, a sad man came00:17:07
to the wave and didn’t even go to this one for a new one, he00:17:09
left immediately because they say00:17:11
again, according to rumors that he was very upset, he00:17:13
lost the cap from the00:17:16
flash drive. Well, in Latvia they found this cap00:17:19
later and the Latvian budget increased by00:17:22
15% somewhere but me something else is amazing Everyone00:17:27
lives alone, you will come, you00:17:29
have no other thoughts Sobchak Ksenia00:17:32
came on stage00:17:34
to represent Well, she should have invited the00:17:37
Russian Ambassador to Latvia, her name is Alexander00:17:40
Albertovich She says I ask00:17:42
you to come up on stage Alexander00:17:45
Abramovich00:17:46
and he is a diplomat, he says carefully,00:17:49
actually, I am Alexander Albertovich00:17:51
corrected her and Sobchak decide to correct your00:17:54
mistake, it would be better if she didn’t do this,00:17:56
says Sorry, please,00:18:01
one person00:18:03
in Latvia alone gave me00:18:05
real pleasure, you know who00:18:07
Zhirinovsky is, what a great guy he is, they didn’t00:18:11
let him into Latvia for 2000:18:14
years, so even the00:18:17
Latvian authorities were surprised, he’s a genius he is a genius. A genius, they00:18:21
didn’t give him a visa because he told00:18:23
Latvia that the00:18:27
Kremlin was telling00:18:32
the truth, and he kept00:18:36
saying such a country for many years. No, no. And they did00:18:40
n’t give him a visa, since there is no country, then nothing to00:18:42
give a visa, but he made everyone he00:18:47
entered some commission under NATO00:18:49
Russia NATO and he got himself a visa through00:18:51
NATO00:18:53
So he showed up in00:18:57
Latvia and Latvians What can NATO do for00:19:00
Latvians means00:19:03
NATO But NATO members cursed the moment00:19:07
when they issued a visa for this kid They00:19:09
didn’t know what it was pepper like that They are well,00:19:11
politicians and politicians, they don’t know00:19:14
what kind of politicians we have00:19:15
because on the very first day00:19:18
Zhirinovsky scheduled a press conference00:19:20
at the exact time when the press conference was scheduled,00:19:24
you know how many airborne personnel minus00:19:28
three00:19:30
disabled people, all of00:19:32
Zhirinovsky and he told them everything00:19:36
and that there is no such country, some of00:19:39
his expressions and they can’t do anything00:19:42
NATO means NATO is everything, he’s a NATO00:19:45
member sitting NATO members also can’t understand anything who00:19:47
they00:19:48
brought, but in the end, but he revealed that00:19:53
half the country was making fun of him, in the end he said00:19:56
a phrase that in general So I must00:19:59
first ask for your forgiveness and then say00:20:02
and then quote him. He00:20:04
tells journalists and there are such00:20:07
nationalists, such journalists, Latvian00:20:09
politicians, he tells them not only that there is no00:20:12
such country, he says Latvia is a00:20:14
Russian00:20:17
resort and then Russians should come here00:20:23
to [ __ ]. it was a bomb from NATO00:20:27
Latvia00:20:30
oh calm calm there then it00:20:34
will be funny in00:20:35
the end Well, there were other00:20:39
events that I personally remember on the same New Wave,00:20:41
for example, Sergei Zverev gave an interview00:20:43
to a journalist, he was offended by her, he pouted,00:20:46
he lost his00:20:48
balance and fell face down on the00:20:51
ground, some music news,00:20:53
regardless festival New Wave00:20:56
group Technology has merged from the00:21:00
Nana groups a new team is called00:21:04
nanotechnology Well, what else is a00:21:07
new TV show with Yuri Luzhkov starting on the STS TV channel00:21:09
Thank God you're00:21:12
gone Leonid Agutin was offered to become the00:21:15
official face of baby food00:21:19
Agusha in the capital they are preparing to move the00:21:21
Zur monuments under the slogan Moscow00:21:24
moved and did not00:21:27
this00:21:29
explained why all his monuments are as00:21:31
tall as00:21:32
dinosaurs. The whole point is00:21:35
that the monuments were made during the00:21:36
reign of Yuri Lukov in the so-called00:21:40
Jurassic00:21:42
period, but recently Zurab Rita promised00:21:45
that since he didn’t like tall00:21:47
monuments, he wouldn’t make them anymore,00:21:49
he would make monuments00:21:52
long and immediately suggested an opening of the moment of the former strikes with a00:21:57
spear five-kilometer00:22:05
[music]00:22:06
[applause]00:22:19
he always pays for everyone he00:22:23
really believed all his life that he was a00:22:26
genius00:22:29
but all his friends he is a friend of Luzhkov they00:22:32
told him all this you can imagine in 500:22:34
minutes on the command of the face from The00:22:37
Kremlin was lowered below00:22:40
the plinth by all those who spoke compliments,00:22:43
but he is a kind person and he did not deserve00:22:45
this, he had nothing to do with it at all Well, yes,00:22:50
two people said to me,00:22:56
Nemat always said and 15 years ago00:23:00
Luzhkov should be00:23:01
imprisoned now, he only00:23:04
clarified this wording recently he said, “He00:23:06
should be put in prison with his00:23:08
wife, but he showed00:23:11
leniency,” he said, “they should put him in different00:23:14
cells, otherwise she will beat him in the morning,”00:23:17
Zhirinovsky said, “But really, back00:23:20
in 1995, I told the00:23:22
audience that I thought that somehow this would00:23:24
help in order not to00:23:26
obsess Well,00:23:28
listen, here’s Nick’s Victory on the mountain on00:23:33
Poklonnaya This is Nika's victory, this00:23:36
sculpture She was beautiful in00:23:39
Rita's studio You're standing in front of her, how00:23:42
beautiful Nika is when he lifted her there, this is00:23:44
actually some kind of enraged insect00:23:48
and St. George the Victorious Well, I00:23:58
didn't see the snake, he saw how they're cutting00:24:01
his sausage, this snake is cut into pieces00:24:04
Well, exactly, the doctor's sausage is in00:24:07
our00:24:09
student dormitory. Peter Peter, you know, he's dressed, but00:24:12
he doesn't know How they dressed at that time, but he00:24:15
doesn't know. He doesn't know anything about it. He actually sculpted00:24:18
Columbus, so Peter didn't dress in our00:24:21
clothes. from that time when he lived00:24:26
then when they00:24:28
saw they did00:24:32
so they couldn’t say they opened our mouth like that00:24:36
[music]00:24:37
America Lushkov said cute said00:24:41
Lushkov it’s called a rostral00:24:44
column This is for young people Who doesn’t00:24:47
know this what a growing column is if there00:24:49
is some kind of column on the raster column the hero00:24:52
below should be the bows of the00:24:56
ships that he destroyed, so00:24:59
you know these are the bows of the ships of the00:25:01
Black Sea Russian Fleet, the00:25:03
territory was made, that is, Peter destroyed the00:25:05
Black Sea Fleet According to00:25:07
this or this is an order from Ukraine. It was secret,00:25:11
this could be, but you saw Peter’s legs,00:25:14
the same the hind legs of the first00:25:17
version of00:25:21
Zhukov's horse Well, he sees life this way, but00:25:25
Riya staged it all. And of course, the record of records00:25:29
is just the pearl of pearls, this is the fountain on00:25:33
Manezhnaya Square horses. I have to portray this;00:25:35
of course, I'm not an actor, but you've00:25:37
seen these00:25:42
horses, look, an artist.00:25:45
Yes, and in the back there is a fountain here,00:25:49
this is the biggest horse disaster in00:25:54
the world. I think that when there is a00:25:58
conversation about moving00:26:00
monuments,00:26:02
Georgian healers should be moved to Georgia and00:26:06
Peter should be placed under Saakashvili’s window00:26:09
right so that he can look at it in the morning and not00:26:14
forget Although he will eat so many ties00:26:17
Looking for this Peter A can be left00:26:19
in Moscow, because if someday00:26:22
Godzilla wants to attack00:26:26
Moscow,00:26:28
she will00:26:42
not even00:26:43
think about the construction of a monument in his city.00:26:49
honor let's continue show business news00:26:52
Philip Kirkorov joined the United00:26:54
Russia party and now demands to be00:26:56
called00:27:00
foxes Well, Philip Kirkorov Okay to United00:27:02
Russia but I liked something else I don’t00:27:05
know, maybe you know00:27:07
Borya Moiseev joined the United Russia party, the00:27:10
only one who said honestly I00:27:13
joined party So that no one00:27:17
touches me I immediately called him, I say Borya, this is the00:27:20
first time I hear that you want00:27:22
not to be00:27:24
touched, he says so, thank you for the kind00:27:27
words, I say yes, I’ll tell you00:27:29
Borya, you’re the only decent one, you00:27:32
honestly almost enlightened him, he says00:27:34
In general, no one has ever called me decent, I say,00:27:36
how can I still00:27:39
tell you if you can imagine how you00:27:41
raised00:27:43
the image of the United Russia party whose face is00:27:46
Gryzlov and party member00:27:51
[applause]00:27:56
Moses, the event00:27:59
took place last year in the film Avatar00:28:02
in general when the avatar appeared on the screen I00:28:05
probably watched it was one of the first and00:28:07
I wrote on a blog in a live journal,00:28:11
look, it will be more joyful to live at least00:28:14
a few days after this film, why? Well,00:28:16
because we released the film Tsar the00:28:18
Paper Soldier, which trashes our00:28:21
past, and it was not very honest,00:28:23
and there were a lot of historical mistakes. I understand00:28:25
that the film is artistic, but the Americans are00:28:27
American. Even though they are stupid, they will not00:28:29
allow themselves to make a film that00:28:33
would pose as their cosmonauts or the president. But00:28:35
please don’t feed us this with bread.00:28:37
Let us ruin our own past.00:28:39
Avatar, look how Americans are. Well done,00:28:42
they figured out that good wins00:28:46
money, this is an anti-American film00:28:48
practically, and they collected so much money00:28:51
for00:28:56
this after I published my opinion00:28:58
on the live blog of the live00:29:00
journal writes: A young man, Mikhail00:29:02
Nikolaevich, I read your advice, I went00:29:05
to the movie Avatar, I realized you’re a real00:29:07
womanizer,00:29:08
okay. What does this have to do with him, he says,00:29:12
he writes to me nothing happened with one girl for 500:29:15
months, although we00:29:17
dated, I took her, on your advice,00:29:19
to the movie Avatar, she was so emotional00:29:25
for you, she said get up00:29:27
and cried, and I asked if she could stay with you00:29:29
while you cry, she cried until the00:29:33
morning, he says, and it happened to us00:29:37
Thank you for00:29:40
the advice, I never advised him to do this, and00:29:44
then I took five girls to my00:29:49
avatar00:29:51
[music]00:29:52
[applause]00:29:56
So a week after this letter, the00:29:59
following comes Michal Nikolaevich I have a question about00:30:01
how to go from a womanizer to a grandmother, he is already00:30:03
being familiar00:30:07
[music]00:30:10
I tell him wrote immediately take you to the00:30:13
film00:30:14
Tsar, they won’t be able to see you for the rest of your days00:30:17
after that, what else was00:30:21
interesting? Yes, of course, the summer was00:30:25
eventful, you remember it all very well. Well, for00:30:27
example, in St. Petersburg,00:30:28
the electricity went out for a long time; its00:30:31
residents already in the first 30 minutes with their00:30:34
oral speech they proved that their city00:30:35
is no longer the cultural capital of00:30:38
Russia. In the summer, this is a very00:30:42
offensive information war between00:30:44
Russia and Belarus in retaliation for the fact00:30:46
that Belarusian television showed00:30:48
an interview with Mikheil Saakashvili Dmitry [00:30:52
music]00:30:56
Medvedev threw Colorado beetles at him in a potato field00:31:01
Of course that's it we remembered the00:31:05
event of global significance, this is what happened to the00:31:08
Icelandic volcano, now we need to stretch our lips, I00:31:12
must bring to your attention00:31:15
that the Icelandic volcano everyone is asking00:31:16
why this happened. I’ll explain, the00:31:18
Icelandic00:31:22
volcano has already earned applause,00:31:26
the session00:31:29
woke up, woke up in order to00:31:31
take revenge on people for calling it that00:31:35
in general, I pronounce it easily00:31:38
because before this event I00:31:41
was just in Mexico and spent the night at the foot of the00:31:43
Mexican volcano00:31:46
Paul, in general, so you00:31:48
know, a rare00:31:56
fall,00:31:58
it is very understandable that00:32:01
humanity is part of nature, but00:32:04
it forgets about it and tries to defeat00:32:06
nature; it is impossible; part cannot00:32:08
win the whole part can defeat00:32:11
the whole if it is if it is an00:32:14
oncological tumor when humanity00:32:16
becomes an oncology for the earth The earth is00:32:20
a little00:32:21
like the euro euro00:32:26
zany clone people we can00:32:28
run a collider we influence the weather00:32:30
where What can you when happened in00:32:32
Indonesia the tsunami died and the Europeans are00:32:35
Americans and the Indonesian tribe is not one thing,00:32:38
not a single person died why they went to the00:32:40
mountains before the tsunami the day before, they are asked00:32:42
then by journalists how do you know they00:32:43
say the herons swayed00:32:49
anxiously today scientists cannot predict the00:32:53
exact weather scientists take the Altai Bring it00:32:57
to the meteorological center and00:33:00
you will have the weather predicted correctly00:33:02
sometimes Mother Earth puts people in00:33:05
place You are so smart in Europe one00:33:07
volcano spat one all of Europe in the00:33:12
ashtray planes plane flights00:33:14
are canceled not everyone is terrified not terrified00:33:18
only Russian guys husbands at00:33:20
resorts in inia just00:33:25
rejoiced we can Ver00:33:29
El00:33:31
interferes the most rejoiced Taxi drivers in00:33:34
Sheremetyevo They completely threw it out00:33:36
We will deliver the signs to any city in the world. Have you00:33:39
tried taking a taxi from00:33:42
Sheremetyevo to Vancouver?00:33:44
Someday00:33:45
nature will always remind people00:33:48
that we are part of this nature. The00:33:51
Americans are the same story; they have been chasing00:33:54
oil for many years; oil itself has come to them;00:33:59
the number of dark-skinned people00:34:01
has increased The same story with our00:34:04
fires too Why did they happen What a00:34:06
misfortune what a misfortune 70,000 foresters00:34:09
have been fired in Russia in recent years00:34:11
70,000 Ask the fire fighters in the forests to not00:34:14
cut down the swamp drained to sell the00:34:17
plots to our floors and mini oligarchs00:34:21
finally fire-fighting equipment00:34:25
Vano dead wood is gunpowder for the forests and the00:34:29
swamp are a guardian of the forests, so it’s natural that00:34:32
this happened. And now they say it’s necessary to00:34:33
restore the swamp. That’s what I want to see. There are00:34:36
cottages of00:34:39
businessmen, so I’ll go and00:34:40
see when this00:34:43
happens, how they will drown00:34:45
these cottages in the swamp, well, some people00:34:48
think that the reasons are different, that it’s hot00:34:51
set up in Russia by Nikita Mikhalkov, as he00:34:54
imagines in his films,00:34:58
some believe that the peat bogs in the00:34:59
Moscow region were set on fire by the pharmacy Mafia00:35:02
after swine flu, there were00:35:03
unsold gauze00:35:06
bandages left Medvedev donated 350 to the00:35:10
fund for those affected by the fires,00:35:12
his wife was most surprised by this stash,00:35:16
he also pleased me, he called the00:35:19
head of Gazprom, the main Gazpro00:35:25
coupon00:35:27
Is it always as if they just00:35:29
tore off the bandage from the hairiest part00:35:31
of00:35:34
him, exactly,00:35:39
he always purrs so seriously, he thinks about gas all the time00:35:44
and it’s clear the gas is bursting his00:35:48
head Medvedev tells him that you00:35:55
can’t ask But you already00:35:59
gave it away, you know that Russian people00:36:01
usually eat when they watch TV,00:36:03
half the country choked at that00:36:06
moment when he said we decided to give00:36:10
everyone who lost their00:36:13
homes a gift via satellite00:36:15
TV00:36:18
dish, listen where they00:36:20
got what from what oak tree on what yellow tree it00:36:23
fell before in people’s homes people00:36:27
have lost their homes here in the00:36:31
field with a plate on your head you can put it on your head00:36:34
like this you can sit on a stump to shake off the ashes00:36:37
winter will come you can00:36:40
ride down the hill on this reel it has00:36:44
such a wide range of uses for00:36:47
this plate oh When When in Russia the00:36:50
fox is on fire it will be no laughing matter00:36:53
when will the hemp crops in00:36:55
Kazakhstan catch fire00:36:58
and in general our news reminds me, you00:37:00
know,00:37:03
this is an endless series with two00:37:06
main characters, but here is our president. He00:37:10
really touches you, you know I00:37:12
love watching him, especially when he00:37:14
went to one city while traveling and00:37:16
started milking a cow.00:37:18
fingers for the keyboard00:37:21
intended for the cow, poor cow,00:37:24
some operator showed her eyes,00:37:27
this cow started having Graves'00:37:30
disease when immediately like him and her00:37:34
officials told her to have milk,00:37:37
they came to the cow, told her to have00:37:39
milk, the00:37:41
cow was not milked for 2 days Can you imagine00:37:44
how it’s bursting, it00:37:46
exploded Just when they00:37:50
started milking it, but still it’s more interesting he spent00:37:52
time in America Here I00:37:54
really watched without stopping, the most interesting00:37:57
series, he was so happy, he was00:38:01
given an iPhone of the fourth00:38:04
generation, what a lucky iPhone00:38:07
they gave00:38:10
the Terminator00:38:12
nearby Obama fed him at McDonald’s00:38:16
Well happiness By the way, when00:38:19
Medvedev received a fourth-generation iPhone as a gift, they00:38:21
immediately began00:38:24
to gather for America Lukashenko00:38:28
Nazarbayev with all this in general Schwarzenegger,00:38:31
you know,00:38:33
and Medvedev became friends00:38:37
when Schwarzenegger Leaving Moscow, he00:38:41
said his signature And00:38:43
to which Dmitry Medvedev told him about the00:38:46
Russian omen to return you need to00:38:49
throw your credit card into the nearest body of water00:38:53
Well, when it’s also a significant00:38:57
event, our president suddenly That’s where00:39:00
he got it How does he get this in the morning00:39:03
or in the evening we need to reduce00:39:05
time zones in Russia That’s the main thing,00:39:08
we just can’t live without it but00:39:11
in Vladivostok they were delighted, they said00:39:13
finally, we will fly to Moscow in 400:39:15
hours In00:39:18
total Skolkovo, I can’t pass by00:39:21
this one Skolko We didn’t00:39:25
have enough after Skolkovo is done,00:39:27
fragments of our budget will remain But the00:39:31
main thing is why who00:39:33
needs this, smart people advise that maybe we00:39:37
don’t need specialists, we won’t find them, we00:39:42
’ll hire foreign ones, the president said what kind of salaries we don’t have, we’ll have his exact words, we need to00:39:46
interest foreign scientists in non-00:39:49
material benefits. That’s00:39:55
a [ __ ],00:39:59
imagine a conversation with an American00:40:02
scientist. Come to work with us, but the00:40:05
salary, that’s not what he’s telling you at all.00:40:09
What about he says you will have non-00:40:11
material00:40:14
benefits, it’s like he says, well,00:40:16
at a red light, you will00:40:20
cross the road in Sochi, swim behind the buoys, we will00:40:25
give you a certificate to00:40:27
get off the plane without waiting for the ramp, you00:40:34
will be completely calm. And it was also interesting to follow How00:40:37
our president was in Omsk, after all, Nowhere in the00:40:39
world there is no such show-off, it cannot be00:40:41
that somewhere in the world a governor built00:40:43
a road from the airport to the city for the arrival of00:40:46
the president. Well, then this began.00:40:49
Omsk is just an indicator,00:40:52
firstly, the street along which00:40:55
Medvedev will be taken to paint and they told the Tajiks00:40:58
and Moldovans they told the facades to paint you00:41:02
who they said this word00:41:05
now they asked what it was they said00:41:08
in front of the house they painted over it along with the00:41:14
windows they took down posters for a children's play in00:41:18
the city they decided that I would fire those who00:41:21
decided that it would insult our president00:41:25
the play was called waiting for you Cheerful00:41:30
Dunno Listen, how did our00:41:34
power come to head to improve the work of00:41:36
the police, change it to the00:41:39
police, can you imagine Obama00:41:42
saying we will rename the police to the00:41:46
police, how many times have I said militia, a00:41:49
wonderful Russian word, lovely00:41:53
faces and the police, did the people laugh00:41:58
because he doesn’t give a damn about the00:42:01
police, the police are garbage and there is00:42:05
garbage, I understand only one thing that comes from a00:42:08
shout from a shout behind the door Open the00:42:14
police will open purely out of00:42:20
curiosity Oh well, you00:42:25
want to laugh about the war of corruption But the main thing is00:42:28
another00:42:30
interesting thing in general I’m interested in what00:42:32
will appear on the screen from what I’m00:42:35
saying now but it’s interesting the00:42:37
other picture is interesting00:42:39
it’s very wonderful a sincere person,00:42:41
I repeat, he doesn’t understand In which country00:42:44
he works now, he gathers members of the00:42:48
United00:42:50
Russia party, he tells them they need to Boro with00:42:55
the corps, I00:42:57
want to ask You understand Who are you telling this to,00:43:00
they are sitting and how the Air Force of Soviet00:43:04
times00:43:06
is recorded because there are00:43:08
no former bull terriers, they are00:43:10
always hand-me-downs for 2000 dollars in00:43:13
suits for 5000 dollars and in a watch for00:43:16
50,000 dollars they write down How do you00:43:20
How did you guess Boro with the00:43:25
corps sincerely reacts says00:43:27
immediately of course00:43:30
immediately now we’ll get out of here and we00:43:32
’ll fight with ourselves political00:43:36
anonism we’ll have00:43:41
like this Can’t they see that it is a disgrace00:43:44
in front of the people when they say to remove the00:43:47
flashing lights And there are even more of these flashing lights, a hundred,00:43:50
you know what people call flashing lights,00:43:51
cars with flashing lights, flashing lights are called a blue00:43:53
bucket, and so it00:43:56
turns out that Agni00:43:58
Bortov wrote about flashing lights in the children’s poem blue00:44:01
bucket in the oncoming lane Who doesn’t know00:44:04
Vovochka Vova knows00:44:08
[applause]00:44:14
everyone, all the events were eclipsed by one00:44:19
dismissal of00:44:20
Luzhkov. No one can understand this either.00:44:23
What was removed Why was removed uh Lost00:44:27
trust The fact is that the president00:44:38
quit,00:44:41
but in Russia they don’t know what Twitter is and the00:44:48
secondary school00:44:54
fired00:45:00
the theft from not over power of attorney00:45:03
for00:45:05
theft new expressions have appeared in00:45:08
Moscow proki00:45:10
hovered with borel00:45:13
Butyrka Turku will be00:45:15
renamed But in general Lushkov VL00:45:18
certainly deserves himself because00:45:24
those who are happy that I was00:45:29
removed you know who said00:45:33
he was replaced by a new mayor and00:45:36
Sergei Sobyanin has a new00:45:38
entertainment without warning, to come and00:45:40
check on some minister, to00:45:43
flick his fingers on the chin and00:45:46
say soy For00:45:51
[applause]00:45:54
fright, they held a parade after all, finally, a00:45:57
gay parade under the slogan a point in our00:46:03
favor. Well, of course, not everyone00:46:06
knows that Yuri Lushkov insisted on a00:46:09
farewell meeting. he was00:46:13
allowed into the office with the president and said00:46:15
just one word, sorry, and released the00:46:24
bees. Well, from the latest events,00:46:27
the president recently said that in the elections of the00:46:29
next presidents in 2012,00:46:32
it is possible that someone00:46:35
third will participate. The FSB is already working to00:46:39
detect and neutralize this00:46:42
person, but in general Of course they are different,00:46:45
Putin has a dog, Medvedev has a cat, and00:46:47
look, they give him dogs00:46:54
and Bulgaria gave him a dog recently,00:46:57
now on the Internet it’s so interesting,00:46:59
on many forums it’s discussed how to00:47:01
name this dog for Putin, someone very00:47:04
well suggested calling the dog edros, which00:47:09
means Putin has a dog Medvedev's cat,00:47:11
but recently Medvedev broke up with the cat00:47:13
Because he was aiming for his00:47:18
place and in00:47:21
conclusion, Putin recently announced that he00:47:24
was dressed to run for the next term00:47:27
or00:47:28
[applause]00:47:37
no I want to present to you the work of a00:47:40
young author, he lives in the city of Riga I am00:47:43
also from Riga to me It’s a pity that he doesn’t00:47:45
move to Moscow because I think00:47:48
that he is a very talented person, if00:47:50
he moved to Moscow he would soon become00:47:52
Zadornov. And in Riga00:47:54
it’s a little difficult to become Zadornov. Today there is00:47:57
no such energy as we have in Russia, but this00:48:00
young man reads a lot he00:48:02
’s interested in00:48:03
news both in music and in the theater, he’s00:48:06
educated and he made a new00:48:11
film show like this, I like it myself.00:48:14
He tried to analyze00:48:17
the events that he especially remembered00:48:19
over the past year, the work is completely new, if00:48:22
you don’t like it, I won’t even invite him00:48:24
to the stage if you like it I will invite him00:48:28
[applause]00:48:33
to bow good evening on the air in zadar00:48:35
news with you Gary Polsky today in the00:48:38
episode of the air force of Moldova00:48:41
Truth or00:48:46
[music]00:48:47
peace in Switzerland the large00:48:51
hadron00:48:54
collider has been relaunched, nervous stress is driving Yuri00:48:57
Lushkov started00:49:01
smoking in Moscow, monuments to Zurab are being dismantled00:49:04
Tsereteli00:49:07
and deport them to00:49:10
[applause]00:49:11
[music]00:49:17
Georgia in Russia The first successful00:49:20
experiment on00:49:24
human cloning took place, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadi00:49:27
Nezhat personally tested the country's first00:49:30
nuclear00:49:34
missile at the next rally of bikers00:49:37
Vladimir Putin went with00:49:38
Dmitry00:49:40
Medvedev, the head of Rusnano Anatoly Chubais00:49:44
began development of nanotechnologies in the00:49:46
field of00:49:50
weapons especially for Vladimir’s visit00:49:59
[applause]00:50:01
ahead of schedule What Russian sailors are doing00:50:04
Captured by Somali00:50:10
pirates Sergei Sobyanin came up with an00:50:13
original way to eliminate00:50:15
traffic jams in00:50:19
Moscow and now about these and other00:50:21
news in more detail in Russia the00:50:23
autumn Priv has ended compared to last00:50:26
year the number of00:50:28
conscripts in the Primorsky00:50:33
[music]00:50:39
Territory has increased threefold, the famous octopus Paul00:50:42
has a follower, a mollusk, a00:50:44
fortuneteller from00:50:48
[applause]00:50:54
Estonia predicts the result of the00:50:57
Russia-Estonia match in00:51:01
20033, the farewell of Yuri Mikhailovich Luzhkov was held in Moscow on an unprecedented scale,00:51:09
his face is getting00:51:12
better. So the time of00:51:17
miracles is over goodbye our affectionate00:51:22
Yura, return to your Tina00:51:28
forest during your visit to Moscow Arnold00:51:31
Schwarzenegger received a memorable gift from00:51:33
Vladimir Putin, a personal item from his00:51:37
[music]00:51:44
wardrobe Further in the issue of00:51:47
show business news in connection with the crisis, Sergei00:51:50
Zverev remembered his first profession00:51:53
more more mu Hurray in the dirt village the00:51:57
construction of Maxim Galkin's castle is ending00:52:02
What souvenir did Angelina Jolie buy in Moscow00:52:08
What does Yuri Kuklachev's wife wear around the house00:52:12
Lady Gaga posted00:52:15
her very first00:52:20
song on the Internet sad news for fans of the00:52:23
series Dr. House actor Hugh Laurie00:52:26
fell ill with jaundice00:52:29
in Hollywood they filmed the Russian00:52:32
folk tale00:52:35
[music]00:52:41
Kolobok good news for drivers in00:52:44
Taglyati they began to produce00:52:46
car alarms imitating the Voice of a00:52:54
person00:52:58
thief thief thief thief Urga catch catch catch catch catch00:53:02
ori neri Give Sleep let sleep shut up00:53:07
shut up zani00:53:10
[music]00:53:12
For what what ha gagaga wali wali wali Vali00:53:18
Lily Maybe that's enough already Maybe that's00:53:20
enough already00:53:21
[music]00:53:24
already00:53:26
[music]00:53:30
sleep Recently in Russia they conducted a00:53:32
sociological survey on the topic How do you00:53:34
feel about the domestic auto industry00:53:37
Russians' opinions on this issue00:53:38
are divided So Russian cars through the00:53:41
eyes of Vladimir [00:53:43
music]00:53:49
Putin domestic cars through the eyes of00:53:52
ordinary people00:53:54
Russians,00:54:03
what kind of automobile tastes do the Russian00:54:05
intelligentsia have, let's ask Anatoly00:54:09
[music]00:54:11
Wasserman, come to me Hello00:54:14
Anatoly, do you want to buy a00:54:16
Lada car?00:54:24
I00:54:26
won't take it.00:54:33
]00:54:35
Timati tell Timati You should use your00:54:46
[applause]00:54:54
brat00:54:56
Yes, I forgot to tell you It was the Chief00:54:59
Designer of the Lada Kalina car,00:55:02
recently Russian President Dmitry00:55:03
Anatolyevich Medvedev00:55:05
was shown the first Russian00:55:07
smartphone, we will release a new phone, there00:55:11
will be two screens like this, Well, this is a00:55:14
prototype for now, this is absolutely ours the00:55:17
product is ours view here the brand is00:55:20
coming and I just used the product under00:55:26
and finally one more gift of news according00:55:29
to psychologists, Soviet propaganda00:55:31
posters would have had a much greater00:55:33
impact on the human psyche if they00:55:36
had had musical accompaniment So00:55:38
Imagine old posters with an explanatory00:55:42
sound next to them for military valor and00:55:45
the success of the detachment was awarded a plate of00:55:49
pka00:55:51
and in Africa the rivers are this wide00:55:57
No, I don’t need anything from00:56:11
you [music] my heavy cross is ugliness eternal00:56:16
seal00:56:18
[music] the00:56:20
sword is very00:56:22
ra I wanted00:56:25
to ride Du on a white00:56:28
horse Let’s go with you to where there is no00:56:32
no snow or rain where we would stay00:56:35
together If it weren’t for00:56:38
you tell me why should I00:56:48
live and no matter what my mother says my00:56:53
love Barack00:56:57
Obama a lot of things but00:57:00
squeezed00:57:03
[music] [00:57:10
applause] fist00:57:12
try la Try jaka jazz00:57:17
Try u Where are you, dearest, the most beautiful00:57:23
Where are you and what are you, the00:57:27
loads are00:57:30
natural, our00:57:36
[music]00:57:37
strange and exciting news for today00:57:40
There is no more Harry, Polish city00:57:44
[applause]00:57:53
Riga00:57:56
Harry, bow again after00:57:59
you showed, no one will ever see you00:58:01
again00:58:03
Let them remember this00:58:07
talented young00:58:12
man I I want to00:58:14
invite a young man to the stage now; he’s00:58:17
German. He lives in Germany. He flew in00:58:19
the day before yesterday from Berlin; many who go to00:58:22
my concerts already know him; moreover,00:58:24
when I00:58:26
posted recordings of his songs on my website, in the00:58:28
first month alone I00:58:31
had 200,000 scans without any00:58:34
advertising I met him at the00:58:36
New Wave festival a few years00:58:38
ago, he came from Germany but performed00:58:41
for Spain because he lived in Spain for quite a00:58:42
long time and he started learning Russian there in Riga,00:58:46
thinking that it was00:58:53
Latvian, he liked the way he performed, he00:58:56
received the most important sympathy prize00:58:58
the audience and I also really liked00:59:01
the way he plays the piano because he00:59:03
graduated from the Berlin Conservatory and00:59:05
plays wonderfully. I haven’t heard anyone play for a long time00:59:07
like Raymond Pauls played in his00:59:09
time and I tell him,00:59:12
let’s make songs in Russian.00:59:14
Only you trust me for a year Believe me00:59:17
and then we’ll see the result he00:59:19
trusted me like a talented person and we00:59:22
made several songs and I began to00:59:25
teach him Russian according to my00:59:27
system if you mix all the languages you get00:59:29
Russian I invite my son Brandon Wall00:59:33
from the city of Berlin German Brandon I ask00:59:36
you to [music]00:59:37
[applause]00:59:43
stage Here we have a guest from Germany,00:59:49
we made several songs with Brandon based00:59:52
on poems by Russian poets Brandon is a composer,00:59:55
he wrote music for poems based on poems by00:59:58
Voloshin Gumilyov, wonderful Russian01:00:01
poets, and I introduced him to Evgeny01:00:04
Evtushenko Evgeny Yevtushenko Unfortunately, he01:00:06
lives in America He was of no use to Russia,01:00:08
and there he lectures on Russian poetry as an01:00:11
American student, so it’s01:00:15
a shame, but when Yevtushenko met01:00:18
Brandon, He gave Brandon several of his01:00:20
poems so that Brandon could write the01:00:22
music So, Evgeny’s poems music is a brick01:00:25
wall01:00:28
[applause]01:00:42
please when your01:00:46
face rose above my crumpled life01:00:50
at first I realized01:00:56
how meagerly everything I01:00:58
had but the groves of the river and the01:01:02
sea it especially01:01:06
illuminated and in the color of the world it01:01:11
illuminated the uninitiated01:01:15
me I’m so afraid I’m so afraid of the end of the01:01:20
unexpected01:01:22
sunrise of the end of the open tears of01:01:26
delight, but I don’t fight with this fear,01:01:29
but I don’t fight with this fear,01:01:34
I remember this fear and there is love, I cherish it,01:01:41
although I don’t know how to cherish my01:01:44
love, careless fear, I01:01:52
know with this fear in this ring the moment is brief and for me01:01:58
the colors will disappear when your01:02:07
[ music]01:02:23
face01:02:31
[music]01:02:32
I'm so afraid I'm so afraid of the end of the unexpected01:02:39
sunrise of the end to open tears of delight but I01:02:44
don't fight this fear I'm so afraid I'm so01:02:50
afraid of the end of the unexpected sunrise of01:02:54
the end to open of tears of01:02:58
delight but I don't fight with this01:03:01
fear01:03:03
[music]01:03:10
[music]01:03:15
I fight01:03:17
Thank you Brandon01:03:23
groan01:03:26
Brandon I want to tell you from the audience this is01:03:29
what after Brandon You01:03:32
performed several times and appeared on01:03:35
television on NTV at my concert I01:03:38
received quite a lot of letters Well, there were01:03:40
almost no praiseworthy critics, but there were01:03:44
complaints Because you sang a lot songs01:03:47
in different languages And I announced that you are from01:03:50
Germany and in general it’s a fair01:03:52
claim that you didn’t sing anything in01:03:54
German and many don’t believe They say01:03:56
you slipped a normal Russian kid01:03:59
from Odessa in German, he doesn’t understand anything at all01:04:02
Let’s do it this way, I know01:04:06
what were the complaints and now we will do01:04:08
such a concert not based on requests, not even based01:04:12
on complaints, but based on complaints, the first01:04:15
complaint is he doesn’t know German, I01:04:18
ask you to justify01:04:20
[music]01:04:21
[applause] [01:04:22
music]01:04:25
geld Ist nicht wichtig aber sch muss sie01:04:30
sein sch muss sie sein sch muss sie sein01:04:36
magen kann sie haben aber lib muss sie01:04:40
sein01:04:41
kuss muss sie sein und nur mich und wenn01:04:46
sie zast Hat und kleine laster Hat Das01:04:52
wre auch mich kein01:04:55
[music]01:04:57
scheidung geld Ist nicht wichtig aber01:05:00
sch mus01:05:02
SE mus sein sch mus01:05:07
sein kann sie haben01:05:10
[music]01:05:17
[applause]01:05:23
aber01:05:25
peoples we live in Asia Russia - This is01:05:28
Europe and Asia In general, a fair01:05:30
claim Asia is big And you01:05:33
haven’t sung in any Asian language For example, in01:05:35
Asia there is Well, well01:05:40
Indonesia from its sing something or from01:05:43
your own you hear that s Well, he01:05:46
writes in Indonesian in the morning So evening Already in01:05:48
German please from his please01:05:51
but in01:05:53
Indonesian01:05:59
[music]01:06:23
mal01:06:25
[music]01:06:32
or Kuku01:06:33
[music]01:06:39
call Well, since I didn’t tell you I01:06:42
generally understand Indonesian and this is a01:06:44
love song of an Indonesian girl or01:06:48
or Kuku means I love you01:06:50
in Indonesian That is, it’s like01:06:52
translating into ours that how Kuku fell in love In01:06:55
general, but they also say that not only is01:06:59
Asia, there are other continents Africa is01:07:01
for example, you can, here’s some01:07:03
African language from01:07:05
your01:07:09
skhili, what did he say, I01:07:12
don’t understand this German accent in Swahili01:07:15
AI No, well, you can Swahili in general, Nahili can sing,01:07:19
it doesn’t matter, we01:07:20
still won’t understand the truth, are you singing or not01:07:22
because- then no one knows Swahili at all,01:07:26
then let’s, for the first time in the world,01:07:30
a person sings01:07:32
in Swahili. Can I then sing the chorus in Russian01:07:35
so that Yes, the chorus is in Russian so that we01:07:37
understand that you are there in01:07:40
[music]01:07:52
sukhini01:07:54
UK01:07:58
Wang01:08:03
Niki01:08:05
[music]01:08:08
UK01:08:09
wewe01:08:12
mala na01:08:15
[music]01:08:22
kup01:08:25
I know that it’s not just with you and an African girl01:08:29
sooner or later with you always with01:08:35
you only with01:08:37
[music]01:08:39
you with this repertoire Brandon01:08:43
performs in front of Somali01:08:46
pirates only They know everything Ahi that’s01:08:49
why he learned it in Russian01:08:51
because Somali Pirates studied in01:08:53
Moscow at the01:08:55
Institute of Friendship of Peoples, I know, I01:08:59
somehow forgot about Asia at the wrong time.01:09:02
Asia is still big, and if we don’t sing in01:09:04
Japanese, we’ll somehow be01:09:09
humiliated, that’s what you usually perform with in Japanese01:09:12
Kamikazes please make it more pleasant for them01:09:18
so that we understand everything in Japanese01:09:22
[music]01:09:37
[music]01:09:52
sugi01:09:55
[music]01:10:04
I realized that someone did hara-kiri there after01:10:07
all to the song where Japan is there China if he01:10:10
sang in Indonesian Japanese Chinese01:10:13
everything before Asia we pure oh China China,01:10:17
you hear that in China01:10:22
they print money01:10:25
[music]01:10:27
[applause]01:10:29
[music]01:10:52
I01:10:54
yuan01:10:55
YuA they throw him yuan for this song And01:10:59
many also asked you to repeat the01:11:02
Spanish song with which you received the01:11:05
audience award, after all, you are a01:11:07
Spaniard was before becoming a German01:11:18
[music]01:11:22
Spain01:11:24
[music]01:11:52
Sol01:11:54
[music]01:12:16
in general in the world who are most similar to the Spaniards in the world01:12:18
who are01:12:20
Georgians And in Georgian [01:12:23
music]01:12:32
[applause]01:12:35
ro [01:12:38
music]01:12:40
me [music01:12:44
]01:12:51
[applause]01:12:52
n01:12:55
Margarito Yes and01:12:58
[applause]01:13:04
together01:13:09
Oh, the most similar to Georgians01:13:13
[applause]01:13:15
Italians01:13:18
[music]01:13:22
shata01:13:25
ka Son Pi [01:13:33
music]01:13:37
Pi [01:13:39
music]01:13:46
it is that Russians have two favorite countries BN01:13:50
you don’t know, but there are us01:13:54
when you go to a travel agency01:13:58
in Germany They even have these hanging there announced that the01:14:02
Germans are not advised to go to Turkey on May 901:14:08
But this is our country Turkey today01:14:12
is our resort this is our Union01:14:14
Republic you can’t leave the stage without singing01:14:17
for the Russians in their favorite01:14:22
language01:14:30
[music]01:14:52
and01:14:54
[music]01:15:02
I remembered there’s another one the country that01:15:05
the Russians consider their union01:15:11
republic01:15:16
[applause]01:15:18
Israel is not what the Russian anti-Semites say01:15:25
[music]01:15:52
for01:15:54
[music]01:15:57
[applause]01:16:00
[music]01:16:06
I remembered one of the complaints, I didn’t01:16:09
understand it, maybe Brandon, you’ll understand, they01:16:12
say that’s what happened in in the letter he sang01:16:14
in English but for some reason he didn’t sing in01:16:18
American I don’t know what that means01:16:20
myself Figure it out, this letter was for you01:16:25
[music]01:16:42
BL BL BL BL BL BL BL BL BL01:16:50
BL [music]01:16:58
[applause] [music]01:17:05
now make it more complicated everyone can sing the task to them in tongues.01:17:08
But without words, you can01:17:13
play for us like this so that everyone can sing in01:17:20
the hall. Yes, everyone can do it01:17:27
[music] [01:17:30
laughter] [01:17:35
applause]01:17:42
husbands are whispering to theirs now01:17:52
ugh great01:17:59
[music]01:18:01
[applause]01:18:03
[music ]01:18:09
[applause]01:18:17
[applause]01:18:21
plays01:18:26
[music]01:18:35
[applause]01:18:36
[music] [01:18:43
applause]01:18:51
a [01:18:53
music]01:19:21
c [01:19:29
applause] [music] [applause] [01:19:34
music]01:19:42
[applause] [music]01:19:51
M01:20:17
[music] e01:20:24
It was01:20:27
experiment artistic director01:20:29
and01:20:30
[music]01:20:32
arranger Brandon you deserve01:20:35
to finish it all in our01:20:38
native language you are German I am Latvian in01:20:42
[applause]01:20:45
Russian Yes01:20:48
exactly the island of Nez in the ocean Ask all01:20:53
covered with greenery absolutely weight cry to01:20:57
God pray don’t spare tears The crocodile is not01:21:01
caught doesn’t grow Like a scythe oh oh oh but we don’t care and we don’t care01:21:09
anyway let us be afraid of the01:21:17
wok and we01:21:20
have our own affairs In the most terrible hour01:21:26
we01:21:28
magically mow the01:21:33
grass Wait, the locomotive don’t knock the wheels01:21:38
conductor press on the01:21:41
brakes I’m going to my mother’s dear with great01:21:46
greetings I'm in a hurry to be seen01:21:50
don't wait for me mother of a good son01:21:54
your son is not the same as he was01:21:57
yesterday he was01:21:59
sucked into a dangerous quagmire and his life is an01:22:05
eternal01:22:10
game us e us e HTS Zam sind wir01:22:23
egal ES ist egal keiner HTS Zam01:22:34
[applause]01:22:37
[music]01:22:40
S T necessary01:22:51
get up now from pauses01:23:05
[music]01:23:08
Okay Okay All we need is Together We Are01:23:15
Strong01:23:16
[music]01:23:21
We01:23:26
[music]01:23:31
and on the box for Russian people Russian01:23:34
folk01:23:38
[music]01:23:43
Oh, that’s how the Germans sing Russian01:23:46
[music]01:23:51
songs of lamentation, pity the01:23:53
soul for the ELI the bushka of the01:23:58
brave shoulder is still full the01:24:03
box is full of foxes and Racha have pity on my01:24:08
soul for the nobuko of the brave shoulder have pity on01:24:14
my soul for the nobuko of the brave01:24:21
shoulder Brandon01:24:27
stel and can you imagine we performed in01:24:30
Estonia with01:24:32
him we understood and the whole audience is screaming in01:24:37
Estonian And they think they caught us but we01:24:41
got ready nuno I then said that I01:24:44
would sing this song very slowly Wow01:24:49
[applause] yes o01:24:51
k01:24:55
ame o01:24:57
KS e01:25:08
[music]01:25:15
ka but we don’t care and we don’t care let the01:25:21
[ __ ] sob The thing is, we have the most terrible01:25:26
hour, we smoke magic threes01:25:31
[music]01:25:34
grass to01:25:48
bow Russian and German brothers forever01:25:54
Oh, I’m01:26:00
fine too today We’re having a wonderful evening,01:26:03
but a01:26:06
few days will pass, you go to work a couple of01:26:10
times to bargain, there’s01:26:22
one remedy when you’re sad, you need to01:26:24
watch the life around me That’s what I do, that’s01:26:27
why I much happier than the01:26:30
rest Well, for example, in the Novgorod01:26:31
store they sell a box of plasticine01:26:34
on the box it says a set of yellow01:26:36
plasticine of all01:26:40
colors Tyumen advertising banner stretch01:26:44
ceilings the price is lower than01:26:50
Quality the city of Minsk01:26:53
this is what everyone can notice this is01:26:55
how it is scattered like cereal all over the01:26:58
country this crap all the pharmacy in Minsk01:27:01
on the window the sign the pharmacy is closed went to the01:27:07
pharmacy the station in Minsk the01:27:09
train schedule next to the sign the01:27:11
schedule don’t look at it with your finger01:27:16
This is such a partisan who came just like that with his01:27:21
finger the DJ the DJs are so choked01:27:25
with delight that they are now on the air01:27:27
sometimes they don’t understand at all How like01:27:29
the Capercaillie on the current heard how JJ01:27:32
broadcast it Surprisingly, this year01:27:35
March 8 falls exactly on the eighth day of the01:27:39
month Moscow Tushinsky market on one01:27:42
of the counters there is a sign for live fish and01:27:45
[music]01:27:49
another At the market there are two price tags for a01:27:52
choice egg 12 rubles a fresh egg 1501:27:57
rubles Moscow suburbs01:28:01
such a fenced space at the gate01:28:04
advertisements for animal food in brackets cement roofing felt01:28:10
bitumen Kiev on the menu borscht is called01:28:14
Khokhlushki01:28:17
suffering Siberia dumplings mother-in-law dul01:28:22
lki01:28:24
such a towel shop my makhrushka ice cream01:28:28
is called01:28:31
ORZ cookies called fly agaric01:28:35
festive sugar cookies called01:28:38
glitches on Kutuzovsky Prospekt furniture01:28:41
salon St. Bartholomew's01:28:43
Night children's toy store price tag on the01:28:47
price tag says chick in01:28:51
a skirt this is already nervous laughter everyone is ready to01:28:55
arrive The store is called Mercy01:28:58
from below beer wine01:29:02
here in the bar the name of the cocktails always01:29:05
read amazing here Fantasy among the01:29:08
Russian people the cocktail is called an ambulance01:29:11
did not01:29:14
have time, that is, it01:29:17
comes under Serpukhov store Well,01:29:21
who else can people live well if they have01:29:24
such a store? That’s the name of the meat01:29:26
dash01:29:29
skis. I refuse to even comment on this. They01:29:33
’re called gingerbread. Fun with a hole, you’re about to get01:29:42
hysterical01:29:45
because you can01:29:47
imagine all this; the salad is called a talker with01:29:49
eggs on a pea01:29:54
[ applause]01:29:55
store of intimate goods little things01:30:01
there are such rubber balls01:30:05
Jumpers the price tag says toy pop01:30:08
And on the next line the01:30:13
market in Ukraine chicken feed is sold01:30:16
called a chicken is not a01:30:20
[ __ ]01:30:23
bus city of Khimki instructions on the01:30:26
actions of the driver in the event of01:30:28
terrorist attacks on a bus near the01:30:31
area of an armed clash01:30:33
immediately01:30:35
stop, drop off the01:30:38
passengers and move away in a safe01:30:43
direction [music] genius country01:30:47
genius Moscow01:30:50
shop mom come to us for fur coats you will get a01:30:55
lollipop in brackets two mothers two01:31:00
lollipops forged gates are huge and01:31:04
iron in the center of Moscow with an inscription on them do01:31:07
not park cars at the gates in the yard they are01:31:11
as angry as01:31:12
dogs pet store It’s only the Russians who01:31:16
need an ad put your finger in a01:31:18
parrot’s cage 10001:31:20
rubles Why would you put your finger in a01:31:29
parrot’s cage And in the zoo It’s only here that they01:31:33
can write it’s forbidden to offer01:31:37
chimpanzees01:31:39
cigarettes and further and also spit in the01:31:42
chimpanzees of the01:31:45
Komsomolsk Amur ad in the newspaper01:31:48
needs a stoker, this is the beginning of the advertisement It01:31:50
would seem that everything is clear, but no, our01:31:53
man is bursting, he must01:31:55
write everything, a stoker is required to work as a01:31:57
stoker in the01:32:00
stoker, that is, not an ear, nose and throat in the01:32:02
gynecologist’s office.01:32:07
I didn’t ask myself the same question.01:32:10
Why are we so stupidly bad? Funny fun01:32:14
and we live ugly I received the Answer when they01:32:16
gave me a book one in this book01:32:19
it tells about the Homeland01:32:23
of which vegetable Which country is I01:32:25
read I have a01:32:43
complex01:32:45
Union I understood We are the homeland of01:32:50
horseradish com call the homeland of horseradish Happy New01:32:57
Year Moscow announcement in the elevator apparently01:33:00
some writer in the past became the01:33:07
elevator operators in the elevator If you want to take the01:33:10
elevator down, press the button up Well, with01:33:12
us it’s the other way around and, accordingly, the01:33:22
other way around. Then he he he continues to agree that this is illogical and then for a long time Explains what and how it01:33:25
works, that’s also great in the elevator01:33:28
announcement Dear passengers of the elevator of01:33:30
our entrance And what is the appeal so that the01:33:33
elevator does not rattle during the ascent,01:33:35
accumulates in its right01:33:40
corner, in what other country? And the01:33:43
elevator is one and a half square meters, can you imagine the01:33:48
accumulation01:33:50
there01:33:52
But what I like about our people Here they are01:33:55
They are often dissatisfied with their01:33:59
work, but inside they are very creative and01:34:01
capable they need to put it somewhere, they01:34:04
like to do it, a postscript in For example,01:34:06
on Sakhalin I saw a postscript there,01:34:09
one deputy was elected and he hung up his01:34:13
billboards. Well, he hung up his photographs and01:34:16
below the photographs was his slogan: we01:34:19
live well in Russia, but for01:34:25
us If you look closely ours01:34:28
even manage to attribute it abroad and are not01:34:31
lazy, they take markers, make01:34:34
sure no one sees them, they can put you in jail for01:34:35
this, they can have a clever sign at the London airport01:34:38
that says it’s normal, the signature is in01:34:41
Russian at the bottom, you01:34:50
tell the volcano where he’s a genius,01:34:53
but this is this, you even have to get ready01:34:58
before reading the Usuri region01:35:00
reserve before entering the reserve there is a01:35:02
natural warning Well, it’s clumsily01:35:04
written like everything our01:35:06
officials write, it’s forbidden to make a bonfire,01:35:08
walk dogs, catch and shoot game Well, it’s01:35:11
clumsy, some intellectual apparently01:35:13
came up and read it, he thinks, Well, how so Well, he01:35:16
didn’t take out the felt-tip pen and wrote it down as well as01:35:20
grazing and walking cattle01:35:26
and a snake fell out and01:35:29
left satisfied, apparently another intellectual soon came for him, he01:35:34
thinks, what’s worse, I’ll take it out, the01:35:39
forum started on this and writes you raised01:35:43
pigs, raised horses, dug up horses,01:35:49
birds hatched from eggs and muskrats01:35:54
hatched, and there are signatures one after another01:35:58
someone came thinking about and I can you chickens01:36:02
chickens and01:36:05
jump out Agate daisies adir berries exhaust of01:36:10
gases removal of the body miscarriage of garbage degeneracy of01:36:14
people someone attributed the01:36:20
vyrov In the Uysk01:36:23
region Here and below you are large runny01:36:29
nose you will agree the people are01:36:33
capable this people no one is01:36:50
digitized01:36:52
for women in general need to be01:36:55
observed, it’s not that they don’t understand what they’re01:36:58
saying, but they mean it from the heart They say only a01:37:01
Russian woman can come to the store and01:37:02
ask the saleswomen, tell me,01:37:04
today you have01:37:06
delicious whiskey, but I haven’t tried it.01:37:09
Today, you01:37:10
know, too, there are two Glamor sitting on the beach01:37:13
fashionable two glamorous boogers and01:37:17
one says to the other You know, I01:37:20
tried on everything yesterday in the boutique What is my ass? She01:37:24
says and what she says I bought super01:37:29
shoes and one guy wrote You’re right, we01:37:34
even have men with women, but01:37:35
really we have a man, the word01:37:37
man is a woman’s she's kind of a man, that's01:37:41
why we now say Man, man,01:37:44
man is an official and man01:37:47
is a01:37:48
man, one writes to me I was walking down the street, I was in a01:37:51
good mood, good weather I was01:37:53
playing with the keys to the apartment on my01:37:56
index01:37:57
finger, no one in the world01:37:59
would do this nonsense out of happiness, I see he01:38:03
writes, he imagines his eyes looking into this, I01:38:06
look at the sewer hatch, slightly open01:38:09
in the distance, I think I’ll get in or not. Why do01:38:12
you need to get it the first01:38:17
time, and this was written by one girl, I01:38:21
think I told this story on01:38:22
television, but I’ll retell it again01:38:24
because but I really like it I like it01:38:26
writes Woman You wrote everything correctly about us01:38:28
women You01:38:32
write everything correctly about us You often talk about us I01:38:34
drove to the supermarket in my jeep and parked01:38:36
because no man would park01:38:38
right behind the collectors’ jeep01:38:44
Brilliantly a man wouldn’t do that He01:38:46
understands How it could01:38:48
end I’m sitting here she writes kra01:38:52
Well, otherwise, how can you buy muesli without covering it,01:38:55
the door of01:38:58
the supermarket opens, I quote the letter, the collector comes out of the door with a01:39:04
bag full of money,01:39:07
just like that, and sits down in the first01:39:13
seat with me Oh, I don’t know, he’ll be with you in01:39:20
a minute, let’s go holding the bag, just like that,01:39:23
he dropped it bag when I heard a voice01:39:29
where and further a brilliant phrase he01:39:33
looks at me he writes like this she was01:39:36
scared I’m not01:39:39
wearing makeup scary woman01:39:42
Apparently the bag jumped out she was definitely01:39:46
scary01:39:50
she quickly jumped into her jeep from where they01:39:53
kicked him out under the backdrops he came back to01:39:56
her she’s sitting like that in this sweat he says01:39:59
I have something here I01:40:04
forgot everything let's check how much strength you01:40:06
have left zoo in the North Caucasus01:40:09
terrarium Terrarium on a terrarium01:40:12
announcement The pavilion is closed for repairs01:40:14
animals on01:40:17
the street supermarket in Krylatskoye on the01:40:21
door don't slam the door I can't01:40:24
shut off the escalator it's like01:40:29
maybe a butcher shop inscription legs no cut01:40:33
no ax ears cut off knife01:40:37
there is a supermarket advertisement when purchasing01:40:40
any product in the left half of the store01:40:42
demand a gift from the seller in the right01:40:45
half in parentheses When they give you a01:40:48
gift please do not swear01:40:55
Moscow at the magician in the store there is a01:40:57
sign on the door with Belyasha don’t enter and don’t01:41:00
ask01:41:04
Why a furniture store on01:41:06
Leningradskoye Shosse advertisement01:41:10
don’t jump on the beds Well, that’s okay01:41:13
don’t eat on the beds and don’t sit in wet01:41:19
underpants01:41:21
that there have been01:41:23
cases of a kiosk in Moscow warning01:41:26
Dear customers, since we have under the01:41:32
kiosks, please be patient until complete01:41:37
decomposition country of01:41:40
horrors Moscow suburbs hostel announcement01:41:43
please do not swim in01:41:53
underwear Tomsk bar in a bar sign sing in the01:41:56
Rock 100 rubles sing in the Rock if the hall is01:41:59
against 100001:42:04
rubles on the store door the store01:42:07
does not work on Saturday in brackets on Sunday it does not01:42:09
work01:42:12
at all in the newspaper at the opening of the snowy01:42:15
The town will be attended by Santa Claus,01:42:16
the head of the city and other fairy-tale01:42:19
characters,01:42:22
I can’t do anything to you, you01:42:24
want that’s why the last thing Moscow men’s01:42:27
restroom MSU men’s restroom MSU inscription on the01:42:30
wall Lena I love you01:42:34
Kostya that’s not all below postscript Kostya you’re01:42:40
a [ __ ] Lena goes to the women’s01:42:44
restroom signature Zhenya and this is not the Sun and01:42:49
more importantly signature01:42:55
Lena my friends we will part now01:42:58
remember the main sense of humor is the01:43:00
most reliable protection against01:43:04
ignorance Happy New01:43:19
YearDescription:
Умом Россию не понять! В этом концерте Михаил Задорнов поделится самыми точными и смешными наблюдениями из нашей жизни. Главные темы концерта: спорт, олигархи, коррупция, политика, Медведев с Путиным. Также вас ждут Задорновости! ✔ Смотрите на Задор ТВ: ➡ Концерты Михаила Задорнова - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COHwi1ptDF1Xn0foRRdtiENH ➡ Михаил Задорнов Лучшее - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COHLuAbjhEnzhnulv1Fdx8_i ➡ Неформат с Михаилом Задорновым - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF3C82E9FA53388E1 ➡ Вещий Олег. Обретенная быль - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COH4LpR8BID9NeRDqs5rxGL7 ➡ Фильмы Михаила Задорнова - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMq9dPXd4COGAKy6NvutKIkgjuLrKbh_U ✔ Подписывайся на Задор ТВ ➡ https://www.youtube.com/mnzadornov?gl=CO
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